In light of recent posts declaring rude, judgemental, and negative behavior by nurses on this forum, I ask: why do those making these posts even care? First, these are internet strangers. Second, if they are rude, judgemental, negative, why not just call the individual on the behavior(appropriately)? What is the point of making a post complaining about it? That leads to more of the same. If there are "rude" posters, your complaining about them isn't going to change their behavior. This should be a forum where people can be candid in response to questions without someone crying in distress. If someone mocks, argues, or expresses an "offensive" viewpoint, who cares? I want to know their viewpoint even if it differs from mine, and doesn't necessary make me feel "good". I want to know their version, even if it creates dissonance. The way I see it, this forum is really a true representation of what is going on in people's minds that they wouldn't necessary tell someone to his face. What's wrong with that?
Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.
Then there's the whole dynamic of "When it's me, it's honest ... when it's you, it's rude/offensive/snarky/young-eating".
I'd say that I'm offended at least as much as I offend others. While I do make a real effort to be reasonably civil, I do not pretend to agree or approve of everything I read here. If I don't really care about the subject, I move on ... if I do care, I'll say my piece.
One of the unspoken (in this thread, at least) assumptions is that nurses are required to be endlessly therapeutic in their interactions. Any deviation from the unconditional positive regard used in psychotherapy is BAD. I personally find that a dangerously unhealthy expectation.
Don't ask the questions if you don't really want to hear the answers.
Maybe we should offer virtual backrubs and a warm blanket with our harsh and realistic advice.
Specializes in Mental Health, Medical Research, Periop.
The problem with written things is you can't tell exactly how the person meant it. Maybe it wasn't meant to be rude, but it was read in a rude way. As for people who say words don't hurt unless you let them, good for them. IMO, who would let words hurt them, I'm not sure emotion is that easily controlled in everyone. Just accept we are all different. I personally do hate the judgmental, stereotypical, snide, and racist comments I have seen here. I also accept that in the world we live in there are judgemental, racist, rude, and plain ignorant people in this world - and guess what? Some of those people are nurses. The best way to not let ignorance get to you is to realize that these people cannot break you. They are behind a computer and in no way can affect your life because they don't know you, if you ran into them at the supermarket you wouldn't be able to pick them out. So with that said, if people get offended maybe they should take a break from the site. It appears to me that this vent about oversensitive posters is rather - hmmmm....??? oversensitive?
Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.
I really don't get when people say the posts are nasty/mean/rude. Seriously, I don't see it. Like Tait said, those forums are very much alive out there, but here, those ever-so-responsible mods shut it down!
People have been very blunt with me and I have taken the advice or ignored it. It's all good.
To be honest I am more tired of threads that keep rehashing etiquette and sensitivity than I do rolling over a few negative comments.
thank you, tait.
one of my biggest frustrations on here.
more aggravating than rehashing etiquette and sensitivity, are the responses that respond with, 'what type of nurse are you?? you have no compassion at all!"
gawd, i hate that.
it tempts me to be even more of a byotch.
but honestly, i am here because i want the posters who ask for input/advice, to mean what you say and say what you mean.
if you don't want any neg/truthful feedback, say so upfront.
if you just want to be coddled, say so upfront.
if you're asking a rhetorical question, say so upfront.
we are a bb consisting of hundreds of thousands of members, all with unique personalities.
if you think we're a bunch of stepford beings who submit responses as commanded, think again.
truthfully, i'd be damaged for life, if that's the way life was...a nation of sheep.
finally, don't get offended when none was intended.
and if it was intended, refuse to take it.
seriously, it's on them, it's their problem.
reject the comment and/or the intent, and move on.
i strongly suggest the above, since negativity seems to be in the spotlight this week, with escalating participants.
you're not going to change those who are offensive and ignorant....
NOT the same as those who are straightforward and answer honestly.
some of us can't be perfect humans and still allow, god forbid, even strangers on the internet make us feel less than. it is something i know i personally work on. i prefer this website to many others i have been on because i do feel people tend to be more professional and caring. compared to gamer sites or my recent run on pregnancy forums, this site tends to have a much higher level of conversation and respect.
i work hard to keep my comments cordial and appropriate. sometimes this is because of the kudos system. there are other sites that use positive and negative ratings to help control users (though that can be manipulated as well by trolls).
to be honest i am more tired of threads that keep rehashing etiquette and sensitivity than i do rolling over a few negative comments. we have a tos for a reason, and very active moderators, so if people get out of line i report them.
guilty as charged, your honor!
op are you being oversensitive to the oversensitive posters? why do you care about these oversensitive post?
i agree with you and the other poster but my goodness, who really cares ? i guess i do sense i responded to this thread.
the problem with written things is you can't tell exactly how the person meant it. maybe it wasn't meant to be rude, but it was read in a rude way. as for people who say words don't hurt unless you let them, good for them. imo, who would let words hurt them, i'm not sure emotion is that easily controlled in everyone. just accept we are all different. i personally do hate the judgmental, stereotypical, snide, and racist comments i have seen here. i also accept that in the world we live in there are judgemental, racist, rude, and plain ignorant people in this world - and guess what? some of those people are nurses. the best way to not let ignorance get to you is to realize that these people cannot break you. they are behind a computer and in no way can affect your life because they don't know you, if you ran into them at the supermarket you wouldn't be able to pick them out. so with that said, if people get offended maybe they should take a break from the site. it appears to me that this vent about oversensitive posters is rather - hmmmm....??? oversensitive?
in certain respects, yes. not oversensitive in that i am crying in the corner, but after recent posting events, i find myself "walking on eggshells" and thinking, "oh, i better not post this; i might offend said person." then i started thinking, this is the internet. i want a place where i can candidly express myself without people thinking i am a complete jerk. i suppose, on the internet, i need to use a lot of these :redbeathe:heartbeat:redbeathe so as to not hurt someone's feelings. or this ;) to indicate sarcasm.
recently, i had a user belittle my post with regards to a question about posting on facebook. well, i read the user's profile, and scanned some of her postings and responses, and the poster had some valid and funny posts. i re-evaluated my own post about facebook, and conceeded, that yeah, my post was silly. granted, that poster didn't have the nicest way of letting me know, "hey, this post is mock worthy." still, viewing things objectively has many merits.
A man came to him, who had beaten another man and seemed to want Gandhi to agree it was justified because of the insults he had been given. Ghandi looked at him and said, if you had a gift, beautifully wrapped, and presented it to someone, who then refused it, to whom would the gift belong? The man replied it would still belong to me. Ghandi said, this is true of the insults as well.
As far as the comment, "Who peed in the original poster's cornflakes?" Honestly, I thought that was funny. Who knows? Maybe I am the insensitive jerk for thinking so, and perhaps I was the one who did the peeing.
I'm really starting to think that there is something in the air. My last week at work has been nothing but people being p****d off at each other. Everyone is snarling and snapping, people that usually get along are dumping on each other, the higher ups are yelling down the chain, the lower downs are yelling up the chain. Every conversation seems to start off fine and then detour off into some bizarre argument that catches everyone off guard because no one saw it coming and then no one can stop it from continuing until we're all hating each other.
Here in my neck of the woods we're in the middle of a heat wave, and we had a full moon, and also the political situation isn't great with all the debt ceiling turmoil. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but there is definitely some kind of collective disgruntlement going on.
Some wildlife Allnurse sensitivity etiquette.........
PREDATOR If you find your fangs are coming out because you see a fallen prey (helpless poster) and you are about to go for the jugular because you smell the fear just remember...go straight for the jugular don't just tear a limb. Quick and merciful! (We are nurses so we know about those characteristics).
PREY- If you are the helpless prey try not to taunt the predator and go out alone. Please stick with your herd....the more numbers the greater chance you have in not getting hurt. Do you ever see a gazelle leave the herd to approach a cheetah? If you are going to be a sensitive creature please be attuned to your surroundings. If the post appears to be offensive and this can be correctly assumed just from reading the title then run...run...run...far...it is a predator looking for a kill!
HONEY BADGER- and if you seen the clip on youtube and found it funny then you have the same sick humor as I. You enjoy peeing in peoples cornflakes not literally but you love saying the expression. First I am going to say you are one sicko!! I am not passing judgement but you must be in nursing for the money. LOL. You don't give a SH
Specializes in Float Pool-Med-Surg, Telemetry, IMCU.
From Mrs. Snowstorm RN: "I personally do hate the judgmental, stereotypical, snide, and racist comments I have seen here. I also accept that in the world we live in there are judgemental, racist, rude, and plain ignorant people in this world - and guess what? Some of those people are nurses."
Case in point, Jael Phelps of the infamous Westboro Baptist "Church":
It really, really scares me that this person is a nurse. If I am ever unfortunate enough to require hospitalization in Kansas and I look up and see her face hovering over me, I will drag my sick a$$ to the next state. Seriously.
i was on a military spouse forum...talk about rudeness gone wild. i feel posters on this forum are tame compared to other ones out there, which is why i spend 99% of my time here.
the posts that get my fur ruffled are the ones where a poster is instigating/stirring the pot/being a butthead/arguing just the sake of arguing. gaah! i live by this quote: never argue with an idiot. bystanders won't be able to tell the difference.
As far as the comment, "Who peed in the original poster's cornflakes?" Honestly, I thought that was funny. Who knows? Maybe I am the insensitive jerk for thinking so, and perhaps I was the one who did the peeing.
it was sarcastic but not an attack.
i chuckled at it, too.
and then i got pulled back to when i was 5, and (accidentally) poured oj in my frosted flakes.
;)
tokmom, BSN, RN
4,568 Posts
Maybe we should offer virtual backrubs and a warm blanket with our harsh and realistic advice.