The Oversensitive... Vent!

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In light of recent posts declaring rude, judgemental, and negative behavior by nurses on this forum, I ask: why do those making these posts even care? First, these are internet strangers. Second, if they are rude, judgemental, negative, why not just call the individual on the behavior(appropriately)? What is the point of making a post complaining about it? That leads to more of the same. If there are "rude" posters, your complaining about them isn't going to change their behavior. This should be a forum where people can be candid in response to questions without someone crying in distress. If someone mocks, argues, or expresses an "offensive" viewpoint, who cares? I want to know their viewpoint even if it differs from mine, and doesn't necessary make me feel "good". I want to know their version, even if it creates dissonance. The way I see it, this forum is really a true representation of what is going on in people's minds that they wouldn't necessary tell someone to his face. What's wrong with that?

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Some people are unnecessarily nasty and seem to take pleasure in it. But, I do agree with you. Either respond appropriately or let it go. No one can offend you if you don't take offense.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

I agree with being up front with people. But that VERY old saying: No-one can make you feel inferior w/out your permission is it? is a load of BS. Of course words hurt, it's like saying time heals all wounds - time heals **** all. Words can hurt more than anything.

I think you can tell someone something in a respectful way, not just go blah, blah without thinking and making really rude, disrespectful and nasty comments like the one I saw today - "who ******* in the OPs cornflakes?"

It's the rude, nasty, obnoxious, racist people we all object to, not the forthright but respectful people. Hell, I'd rather someone was forthright with me any day of the week as I've said on other posts, but in an adult way.

Most answers on here can offer some good advice, some are just childish, argumentative drivel which I ignore anyway. No one is ever going to give you the answer you always want.

And AN HAS got very negative and snipey lately - I have noticed that. I think it's probly the US economy that has got many people down, and they're not coping with anything.

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I agree with being up front with people. But that VERY old saying: No-one can make you feel inferior w/out your permission is it? is a load of BS. Of course words hurt, it's like saying time heals all wounds - time heals **** all. Words can hurt more than anything.

I think you can tell someone something in a respectful way, not just go blah, blah without thinking and making really rude, disrespectful and nasty comments like the one I saw today - "who ******* in the OPs cornflakes?"

It's the rude, nasty, obnoxious, racist people we all object to, not the forthright but respectful people. Hell, I'd rather someone was forthright with me any day of the week as I've said on other posts, but in an adult way.

Most answers on here can offer some good advice, some are just childish, argumentative drivel which I ignore anyway. No one is ever going to give you the answer you always want.

And AN HAS got very negative and snipey lately - I have noticed that. I think it's probly the US economy that has got many people down, and they're not coping with anything.

If that very old saying was total BS, you would see many more nasty arguments here than you do. Words CAN hurt, when you let them. You can't honestly tell me that you take offense to every single potentially offensive thing that someone here says, can you?

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Specializes in ICU.

I honestly agree with the OP on this one. Too many times do I see REAL NURSES, not these students or MA's or CNA's or god knows who thats trolling on this site make an HONEST blunt observation, and then get blasted b/c "Oh, you're being soo mean." Seriously...I value honesty, and i aint always gonna sugarcoat it darlin. Sometimes ppl need to hear the blunt truth...sometimes they don't. And while I do agree that tactfulness is a great virtue, sometimes people just need to be smacked with the facts. I've worked with some great nurses that just cut thru the bs...and they're some of the best d*** nurses in my unit.

I guess i'll leave with this statement. Many times in nursing you'll need thick skin. Either develop it, or go be an accountant or something else :)

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Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.

I don't like the nastiness I read here sometimes, but I think there's not that much of it. People often tell it like it is without nastiness. Maybe it's hard to figure out exactly where that ends and nastiness begins?

AN is not a nasty place and it's not full of rude, judgemental, negative people. It's not helpful to stereotype site-users or the site in general. There are always a range of personalities, experience, and ways of communicating anywhere you might go. I think we should take what helps us and forget the rest. Sometimes the extremes are just more obvious in their loudness and color...

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Specializes in LTC.
In light of recent posts declaring rude, judgemental, and negative behavior by nurses on this forum, I ask: why do those making these posts even care? First, these are internet strangers. Second, if they are rude, judgemental, negative, why not just call the individual on the behavior(appropriately)? What is the point of making a post complaining about it? That leads to more of the same. If there are "rude" posters, your complaining about them isn't going to change their behavior. This should be a forum where people can be candid in response to questions without someone crying in distress. If someone mocks, argues, or expresses an "offensive" viewpoint, who cares? I want to know their viewpoint even if it differs from mine, and doesn't necessary make me feel "good". I want to know their version, even if it creates dissonance. The way I see it, this forum is really a true representation of what is going on in people's minds that they wouldn't necessary tell someone to his face. What's wrong with that?

OP are you being oversensitive to the oversensitive posters? Why do you care about these oversensitive post?

I agree with you and the other poster but my goodness, who really cares ? I guess I do sense I responded to this thread. :uhoh3:

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.

My opinion on this is in my signature ;)

Seriously...yes, some people are going to be a lot ruder on a forum than they will in real life because it is the internet. But at the same time, some people are quick to get worked up and be offended no matter what you post.

I've learned that when it comes to this forum, as well as the internet in general, I need to remember two things. First, to take all responses with a grain of salt. Second, it all goes away when I press the Off switch on my computer.

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Specializes in Cardiovascular, ER.

I don't get the whole "i'm so offended" thing.... to me it is a forum - like said above, internet strangers. For me, there is way more helpfulness and encouragement on this site than negativity.

You know, it may be a regional thing too. I think people on here are way nicer than nurses I have interacted with in person. For instance, where I am from - the population tends to be a bit abrasive. Where I live now, out west, people are unbearably nice. Not a sarcastic bone in their bodies. So they probably don't get me.

I don't get easily offended, however I do not like to offend others and that is my only problem with the forum things.... some people get offended too easily and seem to misconstrue everything.

Food for thought.

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Specializes in Hospice.

Then there's the whole dynamic of "When it's me, it's honest ... when it's you, it's rude/offensive/snarky/young-eating".

I'd say that I'm offended at least as much as I offend others. While I do make a real effort to be reasonably civil, I do not pretend to agree or approve of everything I read here. If I don't really care about the subject, I move on ... if I do care, I'll say my piece.

One of the unspoken (in this thread, at least) assumptions is that nurses are required to be endlessly therapeutic in their interactions. Any deviation from the unconditional positive regard used in psychotherapy is BAD. I personally find that a dangerously unhealthy expectation.

Don't ask the questions if you don't really want to hear the answers.

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Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.

Some of us can't be perfect humans and still allow, God forbid, even strangers on the internet make us feel less than. It is something I know I personally work on. I prefer this website to many others I have been on because I do feel people tend to be more professional and caring. Compared to gamer sites or my recent run on pregnancy forums, this site tends to have a much higher level of conversation and respect.

I work hard to keep my comments cordial and appropriate. Sometimes this is because of the Kudos system. There are other sites that use positive and negative ratings to help control users (though that can be manipulated as well by trolls).

To be honest I am more tired of threads that keep rehashing etiquette and sensitivity than I do rolling over a few negative comments. We have a TOS for a reason, and very active moderators, so if people get out of line I report them.

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Waaaaaaaaa:crying2::yawn:

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