I never thought I would say this so early in my career. I am a new grad working in an acute care setting. I haven't even reached my 6 month mark, let alone my one year mark. Today, I realized that I have become numb. I feel nothing when I am at work. Isn't that sad? Aren't I too 'young' to have gotten to this point. Where's my honeymoon phase?
While money wasn't the reason I wanted to be a nurse as a teenager, it was the reason I pursued this career as an adult. But still, I had my dream job in mind, so I expected to love my job and the paycheck would be the icing on the cake.
It's not the stress, I can deal with that. Actually, after reading new grad horror stories, I feel quite lucky with my unit's pleasant environment. I can't exactly pin point what is it that has gotten me to this point. I do know that I am not happy with where I am in my career. (I want critical care). While I don't hate my job, I don't like it either. I do like that I'm learning everyday, but I'm just not happy.
I'm so sorry, my feelings are so scattered right now, I can't seem to put my thoughts together. I can't quit because I have bills to pay. But then again, I don't want to quit because I'm learning so much. I'm just not happy. And now, I have quickly reached the point where the only thing I look forward to is my paycheck.
Am I the only one? Has anyone gotten to the point that the paycheck is the only reason they go to work?
The only reason I work for someone else is for a paycheck. I freely admit it.
We all hope that when we work (a must) we can be fortunate to find some profession and some employer that will allow us to have a happy work life -- which has the happy consequence of giving us a better chance of having a happier homelife as well.
Paying ones bills and being able to support a family life with a little in the bank for fun or emergencies is what most of us work for. Getting to a place professionally where, you can free yourself to rise above and offer more to your work often only comes when you know your family is secure.
OP -- what you're describing is not unusual for this point in your career. You are still struggling through the notoriously grim transition from student to practicing RN. Plenty of people in your position feel the same way (or worse!!) There is no "honyemoon phase" in nursing -- more like a "grit your teeth, hunker down and survive the first year" phase. :) Hang in there -- it will get better as you get more time and experience under your belt.
Unfortunately, most of us have to work to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. Is this your first 'adult' job ever? Maybe if you find your spot in the nursing world, you'll be more content. Maybe you need a different career (which is fine, too. I switched careers to nursing). If you can do something that pays well and you enjoy, then you're doing ok. But it doesn't matter HOW much it pays if you are miserable every day.....You mentioned critical care. Is it possible to find a job in an ICU? Maybe a change is all you need. If you are doing med/surge, it is a good learning environment, but maybe it's time to move on.
The paycheck and the health insurance are the ONLY ONLY ONLY reason I go to work.
You are quite right.
The comments that nursing is a calling and money is a secondary has been used by administrations to keep our pay low, provide us with benefit packages that do not reflect our professional status or importance to the hospital (your benefit package and retirement is not that much different from someone working in housekeeping). Yet the physicians are treated differently.
Yes I'm in it for the money and the healthcare (though we are looking at higher out of pocket expenses, reduction in coverage, and increase in premiums).
Though I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. We didn't get a raise due to our financial problems (our patient population is almost 40% charity or uncompensated care) and are looking at continued hiring freezes and possible staff reductions. Yet our physicians are treated like kings, get free food (they can afford to buy lunch), and administration always sides with them.
As long as the economy is the way it is I'll still be earning my living as a nurse. Once it improves I'll move on to another field.
(your benefit package and retirement is not that much different from someone working in housekeeping). Yet the physicians are treated differently.
After 17 years in this business I can honestly say without bias and with a high degree of certainty that there is an epidemic of "Doctor Envy" among non-physician health care workers. The comparisons of apples to oranges never cease.
One need only compare the median U.S. Household income to your own as a measure of comparative success.
There are so many areas of nursing. I love my job, I love what I do; even though I do NOT get paid well, especially for the state I am in or even area of the state all together (my friends I graduated with are getting $10+ more an hour in a hospital one town away: they joke that the money they make is a sin, but they HATE their jobs and are thinking about leaving) Stick it out a year and then start looking for a job in a different department.
To add a new thought, maybe it's not your job so much as your life outside of work that needs strengthening. I have found that when I am doing activities I enjoy in my off-time, filling my cup so to speak, I gain more enjoyment from whatever job I'm doing. Work, while necessary, doesn't have to be the be-all-end-all of your happiness or the way you feel about yourself.
Based on my own experience and what I've heard of others, there is no "honeymoon phase" when working one's first nursing job as a new grad. It's more like "baptism by fire", or "sink or swim". You said your unit is "pleasant" and that you're learning a lot. That's huge! You say you're "just not happy". No one is happy 100% of the time -- even people who have what they consider to be their "dream job". Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic? If you have some great moments mixed in with the drudgery, you're probably doing pretty darned well.
Having said that, the first 6 months are notoriously difficult -- I had moments where I was just about ready to quit. By the 12th month, I was much more comfortable in the job, much more able to keep up with the work load, and, consequently, much happier. I did eventually leave acute care (after 18 months) to go into another type of nursing, mostly because hospital hours, even after I was lucky enough to get onto day shift, were not working well for me as a single parent. But I'm really glad I have that 1.5 years of hospital experience, because I believe it will serve me well in other nursing jobs.
So I recommend giving it at least another 6 months -- the good news is that you will continue to learn a lot during that time. If you're still unhappy, having a year of experience will be a lot more helpful in getting another job than just having 6 months.
Am I the only one? Has anyone gotten to the point that the paycheck is the only reason they go to work?
You are not alone at all. I believe that 1 in 3 Nurses quit within the FIRST year! Then 25% of those remaining quit within the next 5 years!. Nursing has a very high turn-over/burn-out rate.
It makes me sad because personally, it could be avoided. Proper pay, appropriate staffing ratios, making sure everyone gets their breaks and meals, talking courteously to one another, no tolerance for family/patients to be abusive towards staff, improved benefits, etc...
But it does come down to MONEY for Hospitals/clinics and other facilities. Do we think that they are there just to be kind and caring? What a laugh! No way. THEY are there and in it for the money. That is their bottom line.
So no, being there for the money is not at all unreasonable. You will know when you are completely burned out when even the right amount of money cannot get you out of bed.
....and working without being paid is called volunteering. :)
I think it doesn't matter whether you are in nursing or anything else, the first year IS going to be tough. It is the year when you are adjusting to a totally new type of environment, you are being treated differently than a student ("you are not a student anymore so do everything fast and to the point"), and at the same time being treated differently from a seasoned person ("what do you know, you are an entry level!"). It takes time...
Then there is sooo much in nursing that you can do, so many choices. Please don't get discouraged yet, there are still a lot of places when you can be a good fit. Maybe even in the unit you are working now, when you get more experience.
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SalishRN
11 Posts
The paycheck and the health insurance are the ONLY ONLY ONLY reason I go to work.