I never thought I would say this so early in my career. I am a new grad working in an acute care setting. I haven't even reached my 6 month mark, let alone my one year mark. Today, I realized that I have become numb. I feel nothing when I am at work. Isn't that sad? Aren't I too 'young' to have gotten to this point. Where's my honeymoon phase?
While money wasn't the reason I wanted to be a nurse as a teenager, it was the reason I pursued this career as an adult. But still, I had my dream job in mind, so I expected to love my job and the paycheck would be the icing on the cake.
It's not the stress, I can deal with that. Actually, after reading new grad horror stories, I feel quite lucky with my unit's pleasant environment. I can't exactly pin point what is it that has gotten me to this point. I do know that I am not happy with where I am in my career. (I want critical care). While I don't hate my job, I don't like it either. I do like that I'm learning everyday, but I'm just not happy.
I'm so sorry, my feelings are so scattered right now, I can't seem to put my thoughts together. I can't quit because I have bills to pay. But then again, I don't want to quit because I'm learning so much. I'm just not happy. And now, I have quickly reached the point where the only thing I look forward to is my paycheck.
Am I the only one? Has anyone gotten to the point that the paycheck is the only reason they go to work?
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
i never thought i would say this so early in my career. i am a new grad working in an acute care setting. i haven't even reached my 6 month mark, let alone my one year mark. today, i realized that i have become numb. i feel nothing when i am at work. isn't that sad? aren't i too 'young' to have gotten to this point. where's my honeymoon phase?
there are a few questions you should ask yourself now that you have tasted what real nursing is like.
1. what were your expectations? list them out for yourself.
2. do you not enjoy the work or do you not enjoy the pace?
3. what shift do you work? does it fit with your lifestyle?
4. is it the patient population that you don't like?
5. what is the general "mood" of the unit? do you work with upbeat nurses or are you surrounded by negative people?
6. have your preceptors given you any autonomy?
while money wasn't the reason i wanted to be a nurse as a teenager, it was the reason i pursued this career as an adult. but still, i had my dream job in mind, so i expected to love my job and the paycheck would be the icing on the cake.
it's not the stress, i can deal with that. actually, after reading new grad horror stories, i feel quite lucky with my unit's pleasant environment. i can't exactly pin point what is it that has gotten me to this point. i do know that i am not happy with where i am in my career. (i want critical care). while i don't hate my job, i don't like it either. i do like that i'm learning everyday, but i'm just not happy.
what exactly do you mean when you say that you are not happy with where you are in your career? do you mean that you thought you would be doing more? learning more? have more input? where do you want to be in your career? what is your ultimate goal?
i'm so sorry, my feelings are so scattered right now, i can't seem to put my thoughts together. i can't quit because i have bills to pay. but then again, i don't want to quit because i'm learning so much. i'm just not happy. and now, i have quickly reached the point where the only thing i look forward to is my paycheck.
it sounds like you need to do some soul searching. write down the things in life that make you happy. write down the times that you have felt the most success in your life. when are the times that you have done a "happy dance" and felt really good about yourself?
if you can broaden your thinking to go beyond what you are experiencing at work right now, and write down the things that you want to accomplish, you can put things into a better perspective. it sounds to me like you are tired.
let's review your life for the past 12 months...graduated from nursing school, took boards, passed boards, interviewed, accepted a job, learned a new hospital, learned a new unit, all of the rules on the unit, learned how to communicate with other nurses, docs, patients, and the plethora of people that comprise a critical care unit. you are learning how to give multiple meds for very sick patients, recognize when a pt is circling the drain, and staying on task every second you are at work. oh yeah, and you can't make any mistakes. you have been under a great deal of pressure. most new grads go through this. you may not recognize it, but it sounds to me like you need a freaking break to have some fun!
am i the only one? has anyone gotten to the point that the paycheck is the only reason they go to work?
it is too early for you to take a vacation, but ask your manager if you can have a long weekend before the holiday craziness starts. i can't imagine that you have worked so hard for so long only to be disappointed and hate what you are doing. there may be something else going on in your world that is making you numb. take a personal inventory with the above questions and see if you can't pinpoint the source of your unhappiness.
my thoughts are with you. i hope you can work it out.
Emergency Nurse - I don't think your sentiment matches what the OP is trying to suggest and lacks the very sensitivity that you are insisting the OP have.
Not all nursing is bedside nursing, and maybe their gifts and interests are elsewhere. He/she is a new nurse and still getting the feel, give them a break! I bet you would not be doing your job for free. We all work for a paycheck, we just hope we are able to find more meaning to it than that alone... which is why we are nurses and I think what the OP may have been expressing.
How dare you talk to Florence Nightingale like tha...oh, wait...You mean this chick doesn't do this as a volunteer simply to fulfill her philanthropic goals? The noive.
I'd also suggest you consider talking to someone about this because after the years of nursing school hell, finding and starting a new job can be very stressful and could lead to a slight bout of depression. What stuck out to me is that you list the many reasons you have to be happy and said you don't hate your job yet you are still unhappy so I'd expore that a bit more. Wishing you all the best. I love my jobs but totally do them for the money.
It's pretty silly to say that you should only do this job if you genuinely care about it.
Are other professions held to the same standards? Do lawyers do their jobs for the satisfaction and genuine care of their clients? What about CEOs? ("I only do this job because I really really care about making the world a better place...never mind the fact that I make $500K a year doing it.")
Good grief. We all do it for the money, some of us may also do it because we get some kind of personal satisfaction or enrichment out of it, but the reality is that we all work for a paycheck. There's nothing in wrong in that; let's be realistic - we have to work to make money to live. Why are nurses still being held to a higher standard than other professions in that we have to be saints to simply do our jobs?
I do think it will help the OP to find their niche. I am lucky in that as a new grad I landed in a pretty great spot for my first job. Keep looking for your ideal location OP - you will find it eventually and it will make a huge difference in how you feel about your job.
The best things in life are not things. Not everything is just about money. However, everybody needs a little bit of money to survive and meet at least their basic needs. If you are burnt out or overwhelmed, maybe take a break and don't push yourself too hard. Also, don't pick up extra shifts that you won't be able to handle just so you'll have more money. You may not have fun working.....but just think of it this way.....you're working so you can have money you can have fun with!
Nursing is a tough job. I think it's important that you really like what you are doing because that would help a lot-----but I do respect that for some people, money can be a big motivation. Because I am also curious to ask other nurses if they would still be a nurse and do what they are doing if they were paid $7.25 an hour.
Thanks so much. I really didn't know how to put my feelings into words. I really thought I would be one of those people the LOVED nursing. I like it, that's it, just like it.
But anyway, today was a good day. I thought back to the last couples of weeks, and without going into detail (you never know who is reading this), I think it's more of my situation on my unit that has me frustrated and yesterday was the last straw (or so I felt). The situation is beyond my control, but still annoys me. BUT....I didn't feel numb today. I came in today as if yesterday never existed and today was a good today.
Emergency Nurse - I don't think your sentiment matches what the OP is trying to suggest and lacks the very sensitivity that you are insisting the OP have.
Not all nursing is bedside nursing, and maybe their gifts and interests are elsewhere. He/she is a new nurse and still getting the feel, give them a break! I bet you would not be doing your job for free. We all work for a paycheck, we just hope we are able to find more meaning to it than that alone... which is why we are nurses and I think what the OP may have been expressing.
It's the same with me. Those I know who are making twice as much as me as a NG don't enjoy their jobs or environments. I truly am lucky with regards to my unit's environment. And honestly, if I got the job of my dreams, I wouldn't care about the pay. I just want my dream job. But for right now, I'm learning, and that's a good thing.
There are so many areas of nursing. I love my job, I love what I do; even though I do NOT get paid well, especially for the state I am in or even area of the state all together (my friends I graduated with are getting $10+ more an hour in a hospital one town away: they joke that the money they make is a sin, but they HATE their jobs and are thinking about leaving) Stick it out a year and then start looking for a job in a different department.
If you're nursing just for the paycheck you missed the bus.
It's about care... it's about comforting people that are sick, injured or disabled.
It takes a certain type to actually care. Get over the money. Get over the inconvenience you must feel.
I don't know what you and the other whiners must have expected but this is a love it or leave it profession. If you can't help gramma, the paraplegic, or the spina bifida child that can't care for themselves then please go. Let someone else fill the role that cares.
People NEED you to care. They don't NEED your problems, your disappointments or your insecurities.
I think this is a little harsh. I think the OP wasn't looking for this type of reply. I would imagine that she does care. That doesn't mean she can't come to this board and seek others who feel like her and who have muddled their way through their feelings and are in a better place. You sure won't want to hear my problem/insecurities right now, after being passed over for a promotion I was well qualified for. Are you going to tell me I am insecure in my feelings at this point, or that I don't care?! No, I am not in it for the money. I could sure get paid more for the crap I go through. It's nice to get paid, though, for doing a job I thinkI am good at, even if others overlook it!
thanks for the post. my coworkers, docs, etc are amazing and are truly the reasons why i probably haven't walked away from this job. i have nothing bad to say about them.
you have given me a lot to think about. thanks again.
it is too early for you to take a vacation, but ask your manager if you can have a long weekend before the holiday craziness starts. i can't imagine that you have worked so hard for so long only to be disappointed and hate what you are doing. there may be something else going on in your world that is making you numb. take a personal inventory with the above questions and see if you can't pinpoint the source of your unhappiness.
my thoughts are with you. i hope you can work it out.
Thanks so much. I really didn't know how to put my feelings into words. I really thought I would be one of those people the LOVED nursing. I like it, that's it, just like it.
But anyway, today was a good day. I thought back to the last couples of weeks, and without going into detail (you never know who is reading this), I think it's more of my situation on my unit that has me frustrated and yesterday was the last straw (or so I felt). The situation is beyond my control, but still annoys me. BUT....I didn't feel numb today. I came in today as if yesterday never existed and today was a good today.
Good! See, you had a good day! Go in with that attitude all the time and you will love your job....no matter what it is!
Thanks to everyone who responded. I think my feelings are just a combo of things going on in my personal life, and feeling as though I haven't really met my goal career wise.
I have a few off days coming up and will take some 'me' time. I have yet to do so, and I think that's why I reached the point I did.
Thanks to each and every one of you who responded, and even though I did not respond to everyone, I really appreciate it.
Thanks to everyone who responded. I think my feelings are just a combo of things going on in my personal life, and feeling as though I haven't really met my goal career wise.
I have a few off days coming up and will take some 'me' time. I have yet to do so, and I think that's why I reached the point I did.
Thanks to each and every one of you who responded, and even though I did not respond to everyone, I really appreciate it.
It will be frustrating and you will have good days and bad days. I think we all have expectations of ourselves when we go into nursing and then feel like we fail at those after we see what we really got ourselves into! Always remember those people you care for depend on you. They are someone's mother, father, daughter, sister, brother......and they depend on YOU!
canesdukegirl, BSN, RN
1 Article; 2,543 Posts
it is too early for you to take a vacation, but ask your manager if you can have a long weekend before the holiday craziness starts. i can't imagine that you have worked so hard for so long only to be disappointed and hate what you are doing. there may be something else going on in your world that is making you numb. take a personal inventory with the above questions and see if you can't pinpoint the source of your unhappiness.
my thoughts are with you. i hope you can work it out.