You gotta remember that some of these parents don't even know how they got pregnant in the first place. Ignorance is still a word. Poor babies (young and old)!!!
Yes - I know. I'm just daily horrified by the apalling ignorance that young women and pre-teens are living in.
Because of developing physical disabilities, I have been forced to leave the OR's and do something less strenuous. My last two years were spent in the L&D dept OR's of a huge metropolitan teaching hospital. The things I saw and heard and dealt with there made me wonder which century we were living in - or they were.
I have since become a doctor's answering service operator, and I get frequent calls from obviously very young teen girls who are trying to reach their OB doctors because the are now 38 or 39 weeks along and they are now having the worst pains they ever felt in their "privates" and their stomachs, some with "water coming out" of them, and they have no idea why, and they are scared to death. Sometimes, Grandma said they should call their doctors about it. But they are totally clueless about why any of this is happening, or what it means. The whole thing makes me very sad, and concerned about the mixed messages and ignorance that is still proliferating among our children, a lot of it coming from the media. There's also a culture of ignorance, selfishness and lack of accountability among too many young men too.
Sadly, they are dooming themselves to lives of poverty and continued ignorance, and it seems to be getting much worse the more time goes on. We as a society have made so much progress in other areas over the last century. Why not here?
I don't believe that they haven't been educated properly. However, we can thank MTV and other teen programming for making having babies look really good and as a way to get you on television.
They used to advertise condoms. Now they advertise, "Be on tv, have a baby!"
Seems to be the condoms was they way to go.
And is it just me, or are teens in general dumbing down more and more? My niece is 17 and acts like a total idiot, and I know the girl has a brain in her head.....
Not all teen moms are bad parents, I find it hard to believe many do not know how they became pregnant, and they deserve to be treated without judgment. I was a teen mom at 19, I have never had food stamps, "assistance", etc, worked full time since I was 17, and am now happily married. It's been 10 years since I was pregnant with my first, and my kids are happy, well rounded, good in school, I have insurance for them, and my 6 year old scored in the 98th percentile on his school standardized tests and wants to be a doctor. I don't think there should be threads from nurses talking about the stupidity of teen moms, how about something a little more encouraging?
I've seen some good teen moms, too. In fact, I was one.
And this thread is not about teen moms being stupid. It's about how a lot of them just aren't making the connections that have to do with conception. Oh, wait! They are making connections that have to do with conception. They just aren't always clear about the significance of their actions.
I spend a lot of time with my patients who are teen moms and with the young dads, as well. But it's hard for everyone when they're not developmentally ready (in their mid-teens) to assume adult responsibilities.
Specializes in CST in general surgery, LDRs, & podiatry.
abstinence education only, via schools and parents. that's how.
abstinence education only, via schools and parents. that's how.
Abstinence education has never functioned as intended, and given the social structure as it is, it never willl. Too many other things would have to chaange first, and those aren't going to happen either.
What I mean by that statement is this. Abstinence won't be taught by the schools because that involves getting the schools involved in trying to teach a very specific set of social values to children whose parents either: A. Don't want the schools teaching such a value structure to their children because it's not something they themselves believe in, or B: they don't want the schools trying to take over their jobs as parents when it comes to teaching any kind of values to their children even though they abdicated that responsibility already when they became too busy to parent the children they gave birth to; or C: the parents don't have a clue what abstinence means, and don't care to learn either.
Then you've got the media running amok, glorifying and congratulating unmarried celebrity couples/parents at evey turn, turning unmarried parenthood by teenagers into hit TV shows, where kids don't associate what they see happening to others JUST like themselves, because they are somehow different or special or immune to the facts of life that affect the rest of us mere mortals.
If it were more than a "perfect world" concept, there never would have been any need for homes for unwed mothers in the days before the concept of unwed teen pregnancy became cause for parties and celebrations.
This is why, at 23 years of age, I am the (non-biological) mother to an eight year old boy whose mother didn't want him anymore. I married his father and have been taking care of him for more than four years now. His "mother" shows ignorance at its best - and a crack addiction as well.
I gotta give myself credit - it is hard being so young taking care of another woman's child, working, and going to school to become a nurse.
Abstinence education has never functioned as intended, and given the social structure as it is, it never willl. Too many other things would have to chaange first, and those aren't going to happen either.
What I mean by that statement is this. Abstinence won't be taught by the schools because that involves getting the schools involved in trying to teach a very specific set of social values to children whose parents either: A. Don't want the schools teaching such a value structure to their children because it's not something they themselves believe in, or B: they don't want the schools trying to take over their jobs as parents when it comes to teaching any kind of values to their children even though they abdicated that responsibility already when they became too busy to parent the children they gave birth to; or C: the parents don't have a clue what abstinence means, and don't care to learn either.
Then you've got the media running amok, glorifying and congratulating unmarried celebrity couples/parents at evey turn, turning unmarried parenthood by teenagers into hit TV shows, where kids don't associate what they see happening to others JUST like themselves, because they are somehow different or special or immune to the facts of life that affect the rest of us mere mortals.
If it were more than a "perfect world" concept, there never would have been any need for homes for unwed mothers in the days before the concept of unwed teen pregnancy became cause for parties and celebrations.
i think i was misunderstood again... the schools ARE teaching abstinence only education, they are not giving education about reproduction or even HOW you get pregnant. they are simply saying don't have sex. well, that doesn't work.
i wish i had the time to pull the statistics right now, but there is one town in texas that uses abstinence only education, and their high school has a ridiculous pregnancy rate, in the 60 or 70 percents.
i am a parent and you can be sure when my kids are old enough they will learn what sex is, how you become pregnant, and the results of it, and how to have it safely. teens are going to have sex if they want, no matter how much one can tell them not to. all psychological issues of wanting someone to love them aside, a teen who knows how to have sex safely, with condoms and birth control, is a lot less likely to become pregnant then a teen who only was ever told "don't have sex."
not all parents care enough to educate their kids on sex, and that's why schools should take on the role- but they should do so responsibly and honestly. of anyone, the educators in the high schools should know that telling a teen to not do something is pointless. i think honesty about everything goes a hell of a lot further than a promise of punishment or damnation.
Actually, abstinence is taught by schools. At least that is how it was when I was in school which wasn't very long ago. And I think that is the problem, abstinence isn't effective. Preteens and teens are going to have sex, it is human nature to be a sexual being. These children are curious and are going to what they want to do. They need to teach other methods besides abstinence.
And, parents need to get involved. My mother NEVER talked to me about it, at all. Maybe that is why I had sex for the first time before I was even in high school. But, I didn't have a child until I was married... so hold the judgements.
Actually, abstinence is taught by schools. At least that is how it was when I was in school which wasn't very long ago. And I think that is the problem, abstinence isn't effective. Preteens and teens are going to have sex, it is human nature to be a sexual being. These children are curious and are going to what they want to do. They need to teach other methods besides abstinence.
And, parents need to get involved. My mother NEVER talked to me about it, at all. Maybe that is why I had sex for the first time before I was even in high school. But, I didn't have a child until I was married... so hold the judgements.
exactly. my mother never even told me about menstruation. i think had she talked with me, been honest about sex and consequences, i would have probably waited until i had matured more.
no judgements here, even if you had had a child. as with sex, teen moms need actual education and empowerment to succeed, but instead they are just judged and frowned upon.
Sex education doesn't have to be an either/or proposition. It can be good solid biology, contraception, and all of the other scientific information combined with abstinence encouragement and strategies for avoiding early pregnancy and all of its repercussions.
Girls who do well in school and have a vision for their future--a career goal, for example--do much better with holding off on having sex or at least holding off on getting pregnant.
i wish i had the time to pull the statistics right now, but there is one town in texas that uses abstinence only education, and their high school has a ridiculous pregnancy rate, in the 60 or 70 percents.
I'd be interested in hearing some details about this. Even the worst urban schools don't have rates that high. Wow.
I don't believe that they haven't been educated properly. However, we can thank MTV and other teen programming for making having babies look really good and as a way to get you on television.
They used to advertise condoms. Now they advertise, "Be on tv, have a baby!"
Teens have been having babies a long as teens have been around. Paul Anka was blamed for teen pregnancy in the 1970s. When my parents were growing up, rock and roll music caused teen pregnancy. When my grandmother was growing up, jazz caused teen pregnancy.
Some teens who have babies know exactly what they're doing. Some do it to get away from a bad home life. Others find their way once the kid is born. I attended nursing school at a community college, with a lot of classmates who admitted that they didn't have their head on straight until they had a baby in their teens.
Teen pregnancy isn't an ideal, but it isn't the end of the world.
Not all teen moms are bad parents, I find it hard to believe many do not know how they became pregnant, and they deserve to be treated without judgment. I was a teen mom at 19, I have never had food stamps, "assistance", etc, worked full time since I was 17, and am now happily married. It's been 10 years since I was pregnant with my first, and my kids are happy, well rounded, good in school, I have insurance for them, and my 6 year old scored in the 98th percentile on his school standardized tests and wants to be a doctor. I don't think there should be threads from nurses talking about the stupidity of teen moms, how about something a little more encouraging?
Not all teen moms don't rear their babies, but a majority of them drop the babes off at the grandparents. I became an unmarried mom at 17 and finished high school just before I began to show. I lived at home, but my parents would only babysit if I asked ahead and paid them. I took my daughter everywhere. No food stamps, welfare, or anything. I worked and paid for day care. When my daughter was 3 I got married (not to her father, but a man who treated her as his own). We later had 3 more kiddos.
in my opinion, you cant so much blame the children. Parents need to do their jobs as well and raise their children and actually teach them right from wrong. I am glad I got a mother who preaches to me about when you are getting ready to engage in any sexual activity, you need to wear protection not to just protect you from STDs, but also from getting a female pregnant. When it comes to sex, parent beat around around the bush or try to sugar the truth and reality from their children. If a parent sat down and talked to their chid(ren) about the causes and effects of having children, I am sure most will listen. Parents need to be role models and actually talk to their children. Part of parents responsiblity is to guide and be an advocate for their children.
My interest in women's health started from a realization that my friends and I were very ignorant about our videos. I looked up the answers myself as a teen because my parents taught me almost nothing. I'm almost 30 and I'm still amazed by the level of ignorance about how bodies work.
That was supposed to say our bodies not videos lol. Stupid smart phone.
They just aren't always clear about the significance of their actions.
SweettartRN
661 Posts
I don't believe that they haven't been educated properly. However, we can thank MTV and other teen programming for making having babies look really good and as a way to get you on television.
They used to advertise condoms. Now they advertise, "Be on tv, have a baby!"
Seems to be the condoms was they way to go.
And is it just me, or are teens in general dumbing down more and more? My niece is 17 and acts like a total idiot, and I know the girl has a brain in her head.....