The frightening ignorance of teens having babies

DizzyLizzyNurse · Oct 8, 2011

Yes - I know. I'm just daily horrified by the apalling ignorance that young women and pre-teens are living in.
Because of developing physical disabilities, I have been forced to leave the OR's and do something less strenuous. My last two years were spent in the L&D dept OR's of a huge metropolitan teaching hospital. The things I saw and heard and dealt with there made me wonder which century we were living in - or they were.
I have since become a doctor's answering service operator, and I get frequent calls from obviously very young teen girls who are trying to reach their OB doctors because the are now 38 or 39 weeks along and they are now having the worst pains they ever felt in their "privates" and their stomachs, some with "water coming out" of them, and they have no idea why, and they are scared to death. Sometimes, Grandma said they should call their doctors about it. But they are totally clueless about why any of this is happening, or what it means. The whole thing makes me very sad, and concerned about the mixed messages and ignorance that is still proliferating among our children, a lot of it coming from the media. There's also a culture of ignorance, selfishness and lack of accountability among too many young men too.
Sadly, they are dooming themselves to lives of poverty and continued ignorance, and it seems to be getting much worse the more time goes on. We as a society have made so much progress in other areas over the last century. Why not here?

My interest in women's health started from a realization that my friends and I were very ignorant about our videos. I looked up the answers myself as a teen because my parents taught me almost nothing. I'm almost 30 and I'm still amazed by the level of ignorance about how bodies work.

rn/writer, RN · Oct 8, 2011

Posts moved from thread about baby names to their own thread.

Hospice Nurse LPN, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2011

Sadly, they are dooming themselves to lives of poverty and continued ignorance, and it seems to be getting much worse the more time goes on. We as a society have made so much progress in other areas over the last century. Why not here?

Most of these babies will end up being reared by grandparents who have already "paid their dues". One of my co-workers is rearing 2 of her grandkids because their mama "lost interest". It's so sad.

fromtheseaRN, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2011

abstinence education only, via schools and parents. that's how.

caregiver1977 · Oct 8, 2011

Most of these babies will end up being reared by grandparents who have already "paid their dues". One of my co-workers is rearing 2 of her grandkids because their mama "lost interest". It's so sad.

:redpinkhe:redpinkhe:redpinkheTHANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU :yeah: :yeah: :yeah:

So many people do not realize the truth in what you just said. If you wanted to ride around the country saying that on a bullhorn I would help give you what I could to offset the cost of food and gas!

My mother was one of these dumped upon grandma's when my older sister had a baby while in the Navy. But guess who ended up have to do most of the baby care because my mom became too "tired" and "sick"? I had to do it as a 14/15 year old child. The father of the child probably never paid more than $500 in all for child support over a span of 18 years. These mothers often keep having children and don't care about getting pregnant because they have a reliable "drop off point." Oh the stories I could tell from personal experience! Some of these social workers could tell you sad stories of grandkids being dropped off at grandma's house and just left there with nothing more than a sack of dirty clothes. I know of one case where the 18 year old left the kids on the porch and the grandmother just happened to hear some scratching outside. She almost ignored it because she thought it was the stray cats acting up again. When this grandmother opened up the baby bag that was left with the children it actually had maggots in it.

Sorry. Don't know what to do about it. I am no longer a caregiver and I work with my local Medicaid office. I see these young mothers all the time every day I work.

rn/writer, RN · Oct 8, 2011

I've seen many instances where parenting skips a generation. Grandma was fifteen when she had mom. And now mom is sixteen and she has a baby. Grandma is only 31, the age at which many women become moms for the first time. She's finally ready to take care of an infant. And so she does. Daughter isn't ready to settle down, so she doesn't.

Fifteen or sixteen or seventeen years down the road, daughter will have her turn when her child has a baby.

This isn't the worst system in the world. I've seen it function better than kids just being dumped in the foster care system. But it's still not ideal for such young women to be having babies. It often short-circuits their education and takes a toll on their health. And the babies and grandmas suffer, too.

This isn't just the result of abstinence education. I've seen (and talked to) plenty of girls who had all kinds of information and access to contraceptives. Why did they still get pregnant? Because they wanted someone to love them. No amount of contraception will address that kind of flawed thinking.

fromtheseaRN, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2011

This isn't just the result of abstinence education. I've seen (and talked to) plenty of girls who had all kinds of information and access to contraceptives. Why did they still get pregnant? Because they wanted someone to love them. No amount of contraception will address that kind of flawed thinking.

to clarify, my abstinence education comment was referring to the OP's original question as to why some teens are ignorant to how they got pregnant and what their bodies are doing while pregnant. it wasn't meant as a comment on grandparents raising their grandchildren.

rn/writer, RN · Oct 8, 2011

Got it.

Many of the ones who had lots of birth control education still seem quite clueless to me. It's like they don't connect what they're learning to their own bodies. Then again, maybe months of denial about the pregnancy have produced some weird kind of dissociation.

Think about it. Even some of the ones who have already given birth once are still kind of freaked out that it "happened" again. They understand it intellectually, but yet not. I think part of it is just the teenage brain that is part child/part adult. Hard to know who's driving that car.

VICEDRN, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2011

I took this class called psychology of adjustment. There was a statistic I will never forget in my text. Something like only 30% of American women can accurately describe the menstrual cycle and what it's purpose is. They don't even mean in great detail, just you menstruate on day 1, ovulate roughly day 14 and the cycle ends when the egg is not fertilized.

No wonder they get pregnant. This is basic science and I expect everyone to know that by the time they are 13 years old!!

VolunteerCPR · Oct 8, 2011

Not all teen moms are bad parents, I find it hard to believe many do not know how they became pregnant, and they deserve to be treated without judgment. I was a teen mom at 19, I have never had food stamps, "assistance", etc, worked full time since I was 17, and am now happily married. It's been 10 years since I was pregnant with my first, and my kids are happy, well rounded, good in school, I have insurance for them, and my 6 year old scored in the 98th percentile on his school standardized tests and wants to be a doctor. I don't think there should be threads from nurses talking about the stupidity of teen moms, how about something a little more encouraging?

Trekfan · Oct 8, 2011

the sad truth is to a lot of teens babies -money (from the state that is ) it makes me so sick if you have a baby you can get wick,400 in food stamps (witch people can sell ) free day care , and so on but remember this offer is olney good if you do not want to work ??????

I wish there was some way to put iud in people tell they where 25 or able care them self and there baby .