The dumbest thing you've ever heard...

[AngelfireRN]

Got to thinking about this one today, and was reminded of it when I read another thread on here...what's teh dumbest thing you've ever heard in nursing, as an explanation for a malady?

For example, the one that sticks out for me is one that I heard as a new nurse, many moons ago. I was doing an assessment on a patient, and a family member of said patient had her sone with her, who was profoundly mentally and physically handicapped. Of course, I would have never presumed to ask the nature of his complaint, but she was only too happy to volunteer it.

"When he was born, the nurse in the room had long fingernails and she scratched his head. That's why he's like this. It's all her fault. We tried to sue her, but the judge threw out the case."

I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't challenge it as hogwash outright, but I did ask,

"Did she puncture his scalp with her nails?"

"No, she just scratched him on the head. It didn't show, but she did it."

You can bet money I was VERY thorough with that assessment. Heaven forbid the lady get staph or some other dread condition because my hair or eyelashes were too long.

Anyone else ever heard a completely absurd reasoning for someone's ailments?

[AppalachianSoul]

Not nursing related but a friend of mine (who is in nursing school too!) had a pregnancy scare a while back and we were just sort of talking about things, when she says it sucks that her and her b/f can't just try anal sex. I ask why is it they "can't" just try, and she looks at me with her jaw on the floor and tells me, "I don't want to catch AIDS!"

[AOx1]

Most of the foolishness I've encountered was related to "allergies." I've had patients who were allergic to oxygen. My favorite by far was the woman who told me she knew she had cancer. Her rationale? Her breasts were saggy, so clearly, they both had large tumors. I think she forgot that she was in her 80s. No cancer was noted, but she still didn't believe us.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

Ah, allergies. Had an elderly gent once tell me he was allergic to Lasix. I said, "Hmmm, you're the first person I've ever heard that from. What happens when you take it- a rash? Wheezing?" He replied, "Honey, it's the strangest thing. I take that pill, and for the next couple hours- all I do is pee!"

When I told him that is what Lasix is for he was incredulous. "Why would they make a pill like that??

[emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

Allergic to epinephrine?

"they gave it to me once and my heart started racing"

"why'd they give it to you?"

"i accidentally ate peanuts and couldn't breathe"

"ok, let's talk about how that all works"

[angikat]

My sister-in-law (an LPN) once stated that her grandson could only have either boys or girls when he grew up....because he only had 1 testicle!!

Apparently a lot of people believe this. I know a man who accused his wife of cheating after having their second child because the baby was a girl and their first was a boy. He only had one testicle so he said he couldn't produce both boys and girls.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses. Angi/LPN (?RN)

[MassED, BSN, RN]

"And they vote!"

From MassED: "for Obama"

Way to alienate a good portion of your peers. Unnecessary and uncalled for.

It's called thinning the herd. I'm sure if most people were to pay attention to the news, research the information on their own (rather than digest what's provided to them), they will see what our political reality is in our nation.

We can change it in 2016! In fact, any change will be a good change.

[annie.rn]

This is probably TMI but I was a very naive teenager. My mother gave my sisters and I a VERY basic sex talk accompanied by a TIMELIFE type book called, I believe, "How was I Born?" We were humiliated and wouldn't DARE ask any questions. With the age of the internet a few decades away, we were left not knowing a heck of a lot about our bodies. And we sure weren't encouraged to explore or we would certainly be going to hell.

Fast forward to my Junior year of H.S. I had my period. I was sitting in class when all of a sudden I had the worst cramping I'd ever had up to that point in my womanhood. I immediately broke out into a cold sweat, felt lightheaded and turned white as a ghost. I stuck it out to the end of the class (was never one to make a scene!) and then went to the nurse's office.

I had to use the restroom and while doing so, passed a huge blood clot. I had never seen anything like it and I was terrified!!! I honestly thought that my uterus had fallen out!!! I asked the nurse to come take a look (even though having a stranger look at something like that was almost as mortifying as thinking my uterus had dropped out). She really didn't say anything much except "hmpfh!". She asked me if I wanted her to call my mom to come and get me. I didn't want to make my Mom have to leave work early and it was almost the end of the day so I stuck it out like the good little trooper I was taught to be and then rode the bus home. No lie, I can still remember that bus ride and the panic I felt over thinking my uterus had fallen out. I was thinking about not being able to have children. No one would ever want to date me, marry me etc., etc. My life had now changed forever!

When my Mom got home, I was resting upstairs (I still didn't feel so hot physically.) After a few hours, I finally got over my embarassment and began crying on my mother's shoulder and telling her about what happened and what my concerns were. She educated me on the anatomy if my lady inner parts and reassured me that I did indeed still have a uterus! Best and worst day of my life (up to that point) all wrapped up into one.

Crazy to think I was a straight A student (had even taken A.P. biology) and my mother was a nurse and I STILL was very uniformed about the way my body worked.

Our society may have swung a little too much in the other direction but I sure hope there aren't a lot of 17 year olds out there thinking their uteri can just drop out with a heavy menstrual cycle!

For all the males and even the more squeamish females out there, I apologize for this. It may be a little too graphic. I hope it does illustrate that when teaching even seemingly intelligent people, even what seems like an obvious detail may not be at

all!

cramp.

[MECO28, BSN, RN]

Sometimes it makes me sad how little the average person knows about anatomy/physiology. I had a very sweet patient with very poor health literacy admitted to my unit for ARF secondary to severe dehydration from diarrhea. While I was assessing her she informed me that she hadn't felt the need to come into the hospital even though she hadn't peed for two days because "I was peeing out my butt so I figured that was enough." Sigh. Delightful patient, though.

[Hygiene Queen]

Sometimes it makes me sad how little the average person knows about anatomy/physiology.

My brother-in-law (who's a wee bit slow):

He was in the hospital recently and I have to tell you, I felt sorry for his nurses.

Anyway, he complained to the nurse that his "kidneys hurt". The nurse asked him to show her where he was having this "kidney" pain. He pointed to his testicles and loudly declared, "Right here! My kidneys! They hurt!"

My sister-in-law (his wife) was in the room at the time. She told me that the poor nurse could hardly keep it together for the rest of her assessment.

[proud nurse, BSN, RN]

When I worked in urgent care, a guy probably around 19 years old came in with "cold in member." So I asked him, how did you catch a cold in your member? He said "I don't know, but I just have green snot coming out of it." Ummm...that would be an STD, not a cold.

[ChristineN, BSN, RN]

When I worked in urgent care, a guy probably around 19 years old came in with "cold in member." So I asked him, how did you catch a cold in your member? He said "I don't know, but I just have green snot coming out of it." Ummm...that would be an STD, not a cold.

How can you be that uninformed?

[BostonFNP, APRN]

How can you be that uninformed?

Speaking of GU complaints. You'd be shocked how many patients I have seen with vaginitis after douching with "herbal" mixtures most containing vodka and cayenne pepper. Or guys with STDs that state they couldn't possibly have and STD because all the girls they slept with didn't have kids so were "virgins".