The Case Against Breastfeeding

SmilingBluEyes · Mar 18, 2009

Certainly not trying to make a case against breastfeeding, only misinformation used against bottle feeding moms. Without accurate information, there can not be patient advocacy.

Then word the study/essay and title that way, is my thing. While the author makes some excellent points in her essay, I have a rather strong hunch she is sitting back enjoying all the controversy and debate in its wake. This very essay is being discussed all over the place. There is no legitimate "case against breastfeeding" in a broad sense, as much as there is a case FOR" conscientious and sound parenting"-----the title really grabs the attention and gets the mindset rolling in a negative direction from the start. I have a bit of a problem with that. But then, I guess that is the whole point, because I am here discussing it, too. Mission accomplished.

SmilingBluEyes · Mar 18, 2009

A post from a mom and nurse, from another OB nursing board that I found interesting and enlightening:

I'm sorry if this upset anyone on this list, but I LOVED this article. I was shunned at a mother's group because I was bottle-feeding my now 8 month old daughter (then 3 months). I am a RN , know the benefits of breastfeeding, and still could not convince my body to produce enough milk to sustain my daughter. I chose her weight and health over continuing the battle of SNS formula with breastfeeding when I returned to work at 10 weeks. My own lactation consultants were more sympathic than my peers and the rest of this nation. Yes, breastfeeding is awesome, creates amazing feelings, but when it fails for whatever reason - we as a nation and OB culture often make moms feel like they failed as a parent because they placed formula in their babies tummies. There is no support emotionally for those moms who for medical reasons or personal cannot or choose not to breastfeed. Yes it needs to be an educated decision - but a mother needs to be supported after her education in the decision she has made for her baby and her body. Not everyone can produce milk like a cow - and these moms especially need to be supported in their decision to use formula. When we make a mom feel guilty for not breastfeeding we are promoting PPD - not helping it.

Sorry - this is a personal issue for me because I have felt what that mom did - people still ask why I'm not still breastfeeding, and how could I feed my baby formula, and actually have said "oh your poor baby will never have good nutrition now." I was formula feed, graduated nursing school with a 3.99 GPA, carry a 4.0 in my master's program, and don't wear glasses (20/20 vision). Guess formula in 1978 was okay.

Please except my apologies for this response if it upsets anyone - just want people to realize this is really how some mommies feel, and we need to be aware of it. I fully support breastfeeding and advocate daily in my practice and world. I have also however seen the frustration side too.

Nurses and moms are discussing this in a lot of boards this week.

PICNICRN, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

Bottle feeding mom guilt oozing in all these defensive posts. If you don't like my opinion, well, it's my opinion. It shouldn't affect you or your life, unless you have some secret misgivings or doubts.

Why is it that if anyone post something about their experience not breastfeeding you assume they are "oozing guilt" or secretly ashamed about it?

This attitude is exactly what the author in the article was speaking of. Many posters here prove her point. As medical professionals, we are supposed to educate or patients and assist them in their medical decisions- no matter what our personal beliefs are. End of story!

The original post was not about breast vs. bottle and I do not think anyone is arguing that breast is not best- we all know this. It is the attitude toward the non-breastfeeders that was the point, which, like I said seems to be proven with this thread.

Nascar nurse, ASN, RN · Mar 18, 2009

Anyone else noticed that the men from early in the thread are long gone.. never to be heard from again.:chuckle

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Mar 18, 2009

Anyone else noticed that the men from early in the thread are long gone.. never to be heard from again.:chuckle

Oh, darn.............:wink2:

ShiphrahPuah · Mar 19, 2009

Another case of the old " crabs in a barrel" illustration. Rather than building each other up as fellow women and moms, we tend to take sides and get dangerously close to attacking one another for the choices we make. I find this sad. Breastfeeding is best, we know that. But there is so, so much more to parenting. And guilt is a big part of it anyhow. I do not like that we would harbor in our minds thoughts that people are selfish that quickly; it's so judgemental and can show in our attitudes in our delivery of care to patients. Again, better still, to educate and support. They have a lot to cope with raising kids today, as it is. Choosing not to breastfeed does not mean a mom will shove mashed chicken mc nuggets in her baby's mouth, either. Extremes are well, extreme..

Excellent point, SmilingBluEyes. It actually made me think back to when my kids were small and there was SO much to divide moms. To be honest, I am glad my 4 kids are older now and I can get back to being friends with some women with whom there just seemed to be so many differences in childrearing, and unfortunately, to some people (sometimes me :cry: ), those things made a HUGE difference. Not only breast vs. bottle, but hyper-schedule vs. demand, family bed vs. sooth your child to sleep in his crib vs. the "let him cry it out" method (Ferberizing?), rigid nap schedules or flexibility with naptime depending on what the day held, public school vs. private school vs. homeschool, no toy guns vs. toy guns allowed for boys, absolutely no sugar or junkfood snacks vs. sometimes it's OK, schedule your child in a million activities vs. have lots of free time and hit the zoo or parks on a whim, etc.

It saddened me that the relationships I had with some women before we had kids got so strained once we had kids and we had different approaches to childrearing. Now that my oldest is graduating high school and my youngest is in middle school, there seems to be so much less divisiveness (or I have finally chosen to not let stuff bug me so much .... so what that my son is going to community college next year and so-and-so's son is going to an Big Ten university?) I feel good about the choices I made with my kids because I researched a lot and also went with my heart a lot. But to be honest, I really don't see a huge amount of difference with between my kids and the kids of parents who were very militant about one or more of the choices above in a way that was different than my way, and I think EITHER side on any of these issues can get militant. Some things I am ashamed to say I got militant about since the company I kept was militant about some things, and I look back and think I wish I hadn't had been that way.

Now I am rediscovering the joy of friendships with other women, and I have to admit that I am relieved that that stuff doesn't matter so much any more. I have friends who have very overachieving, brilliant kids, and I have friends who are struggling with rebellion and unfortunately drugs with their kids, and it does not correlate to any one of those early choices. I am glad that now we can just support eachother and not judge eachother. I wish that lesson had been learned much earlier on all parts.

rn/writer, RN · Mar 19, 2009

Very good post, ShiphrahPuah.

My theory is that we use these various benchmarks in order to cling to the illusion of control. It's a form of magical thinking that leads us to believe that if we do "all the right things," we are guaranteed a certain amount of success. And in the scary world of parenting real live little human beings with the awesome amount of responsibility and the overwhelming number of choices that such an assignment entails, it may be that spinning fear into confidence is the only way some folks can function.

Unfortunately, fear-generated confidence is only a short distance from militancy, as if dissenting voices are pins that can't be allowed too near the balloons.

I was a pretty laid-back mother, not because I understood all of this back when my kids were small, but because I had six and didn't have the energy to draw too many lines in the sand. I felt a little defective at the time because I wasn't super-organized and motivated the way some of my friends were (making baby food from scratch, signing each of the kids up for half a dozen lessons and activities, teaching them a second language, and more). I felt guilty that I wasn't spending hours every day optimizing each child's development, but in hindsight, that proved to be a blessing. They were involved in the things we (and they) saw as the most important, and they learned to entertain themselves and sprouted their own creativity and desires in a way that I don't think they would have if I'd had mapped everything out ahead of time.

In retrospect, parenting seems more to me like making a thousand-mile journey. You can take the Interstate or hop on the side roads. Or a mix of the two. You can stay in a chain hotel or a B&B or put up a tent. There are hundreds of routes and side trips and attractions and distractions. What you do on Tuesday might inspire you to do the exact opposite on Wednesday.

Raising kids is a lot like this. Aside from abuse and other truly harmful practices, there are so many choices. Most of them will work just fine, and you'll end up with a great kid out of the deal.

If we worked a little harder at supporting one another--not just with breastfeeding, but with everything--if we could build a sense of confidence based on trusting God and our instincts and our partners and, yes, our kids, we might be able to unclench enough to enjoy the trip more and fuss at each other less.

There is no one-and-only right way to raise a happy, healthy child. There are lots of ways, and one of the best is understanding that our kids will show and tell us what they need. And they will forgive us for not having all the answers as long as we don't try to tell them we do.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Mar 19, 2009

Once again, Miranda nails it!!! Great post filled with common sense, which unfortunately isn't so common anymore. Thank you!!!!

lamazeteacher · Mar 19, 2009

I've done both. Bottlefed exclusively one child and breastfed exclusively another. There is no difference in their health or intelligence or my relationship with them. I've come to the conclusion that the previous poster is dead on about letting everyone make their own choices. What's best for mom and baby is what is best (and that is not always breast).

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Quoted last paragraph of Ms. Rosin's article

"My best guess is something I can’t quite articulate. Breast-feeding does not belong in the realm of facts and hard numbers; it is much too intimate and elemental. It contains all of my awe about motherhood, and also my ambivalence. Right now, even part-time, it’s a strain. But I also know that this is probably my last chance to feel warm baby skin up against mine, and one day I will miss it."

Many times health decisions are based on, "What if I don't":

make an appointment to have the doctor check my breast lump

get a colonoscopy regularly as recommended

have a yearly pap smear

have the operation my doctor says I need

lose 25,35,50,100 pounds

find out why I'm so tired, and short of breath

I'm sure many other things can be added to this list, but you catch my drift. It's fear that motivates most people to do, get, have what's "Best" for them. And fear of finding out, that keeps them from doing it. It depends on the type of person you are, what your life experiences have been, and which way the pendulum is swinging.

I've been waiting for a change like this to happen, and here it is. My response to the article as a woman, is "yes", it's inconvenient

- husbands/fathers can pitch in equally - they can fill, turn the washer dial and switch laundry from washer to dryer

- they can walk the floor, drive around the block until a screaming baby falls asleep

- mothers may lose a few months to a year from gaining professional recognition, but with a will, there's a way.

-nursing a baby can bring fulfillment as well as nutrition; bottle feeding is not optimal

As a professional who's dedicated much of my life as an OB nurse, childbirth educator, and (yes there are, Ms. Rosin) lactation consultant, I make as strong a case as I can for breast feeding, to fence sitting women. However if I get the feeling that they really don't want to breastfeed for whatever reason (earlier childhood scary thing, whatever), I don't encourage it because of the double message babies can get. "I'm doing this, but I don't want to do it" can be translated to the baby as "I love you, but I don't", as some psychologists have suggested.

My own breastfeeding experience was first as a baby in 1939, when my mother chose to breastfeed me, at a time when other women were scandalized by the thought of it. She was much closer to my sister, who had been bottle fed, and was 10 years older than I (so maybe they knew each other better, and I was a brat)

My son nursed vigorously for 2 minutes at each breast, burping between them efficiently, and absolutely refused to do it any longer. He ate solid foods after 6 months, loved them, and weaned me by 8 months, by nursing less.

I'm closer to my adopted daughter, go figure....... She said "ouch" when her daughter chowed down, and after having no relief for a couple of months, she declared, "I'm not for this!" I had to respect her wishes. She'd been quite hostile about my breastfeeding my son, born when she was 6 1/2 years old. Did that have anything to do with it? I doubt it.

iteachob, MSN, RN · Mar 20, 2009

As a male nurse with a wife who wants children, I am against breastfeeding because it wrecks the merchandise that I have come to know and love over the years. My case is 100% selfish, yet I still make it to her everytime it comes up.

This is a common belief....but, it's wrong!! Breastfeeding doesn't ruin the "merchandise" as you put it....pregnancy does! Oh....and I think "ruining" is a little strong. They are changed, true, but hardly ruined.

One more thing. Did you know that "leg men" have far higher IQ's than "breast men". True, really...

lamazeteacher · Mar 20, 2009

This is a common belief....but, it's wrong!! Breastfeeding doesn't ruin the "merchandise" as you put it....pregnancy does! Oh....and I think "ruining" is a little strong. They are changed, true, but hardly ruined.
One more thing. Did you know that "leg men" have far higher IQ's than "breast men". True, really...

What any survey that reflects men's appreciation of "merchandise" they call women, presents much to fault them. That is an argument that supports divorcing a wonderful wife for someone younger, as age doesn't enhance "merchandise".

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I hope your tongue is only in your own cheek in this post, and not teachingob. In their vulnerable states, pregnant women and their mates and marriages need no depreciation from you. Your attitude, if you're serious, degrades your sex, not women.

IQ is no measure of a person, as better research has proven.

allnurses Guide · Mar 20, 2009

This is a common belief....but, it's wrong!! Breastfeeding doesn't ruin the "merchandise" as you put it....pregnancy does! Oh....and I think "ruining" is a little strong. They are changed, true, but hardly ruined.
One more thing. Did you know that "leg men" have far higher IQ's than "breast men". True, really...

:fnypst:Clever . . .too bad he is probably gone.

My husband is a " cute tush" man and of course those guys are on a par, IQ wise, with "leg men".

steph