OK, now it's MY TURN to rant uncontrollably!
Had to go to a shift today. The agency that I work for has a policy that they can't say anything to you (it's in our contract we sign) or fine you, if you can't go to a shift. Anyway, I had been cleaning & packing to move in a few days. Must have done too much (didn't think I did?) because later on, my right shoulder muscle started really throbbing & was really tight; uncomfortable & annoying & painful. So I do the right thing by me & by safety standards for any patients I may have come in contact with - I ring & say I don't think I will be safe enough to go to my shift. No problems, I apologise, then hang up. 2 seconds (literally) the phone rings, and one of the coordinators is saying I have to get a medical clearance; she was not friendly. I say yeh, OK, if I can get into a doctors, which I did manage to do. I didn't think much of it earlier.
But now later, I have been sitting here & stewing. I have NEVER called off (or called in sick) for a shift near the beginning of a shift, unless I AM SICK or have a very, very good reason. The only other time I called in sick was when I had sudden, severe gastro symptoms (which has never happened to me before).
What do these employers WANT from us!?? They literally SUCK US DRY of our humanity! They will tell you any old BS to get you into their company. I worked my BUTT OFF to get through study & exhausted myself - literally - I was ++ sick for about 4 weeks. I worked AND studied, which nobody out there wants to do anymore, especially young people, judging from the posts we get here. I moved to another state where I didn't know anyone & got the experience I needed. I didn't have to come back here, but family reasons etc compelled me to. Now I thought this agency was different from all the others, what a laugh!
I have been sitting here REALLY thinking: what do we REALLY get from nursing? I no longer have friends call me to ask me to events or BBQs etc; heck, my own brother hardly bothers calling me because he knows I'm always working. Nursing is VERY isolating & anti-social. I work long & weird hours, & travel quite a bit to get to work... STILL. I feel like I have sacrificed literally EVERYTHING for my career - friends, intimate relationships - & where has it got me? Life long study debts to get another qualification that will probably only earn me a few thousand more after HIGH taxes in my country. I STILL work shift work & am really disliking it now (it never bothered me much before, as it was part of getting experience). I don't tell my family nursing tales anymore, because they don't believe me so I shut up. I changed to only do afternoon shifts now, thinking that would help. It has mucked up all my sleeping - I can hardly get out of bed the next day before 10.30am because I'm so tired, I can't move. I have severe indigestion (on meds now) have had bloods done, nothing showed. I take a multivitamin every day. My eating has gone out the window; I either overeat (before I go to work as I may not get a break for a long time), or I just skip meals now - eating & cooking seems like too much bother. Study is just out and out boring me now, I don't have the mindset for it. I compare my friends to myself on Facebook - when I used to have an account. They are all happy, married, travelling overseas & HAVE A LIFE! The thought of getting up early to exercise (not that I have any spare money at the moment for the gym), just shatters me - I just can't do it now. And when I do try to exercise, I don't enjoy it now.
I've HAD IT with nursing! Is is THE most life-draining, soul-destroying, anti-social, bull**** job I have ever done in my life. We are not treated as professionals, just an accessory that has been tacked on to the doctor. You always see TV shows about great doctors & new doctors etc but never about nurses; have you noticed that? (Oh unless you count cameo stories woven around nurses on shows like ER).
We are not heroes and never will be. Nursing is a wasted career. It is a waste of time and money and energy. I so wish I could have done something in history where I could have travelled, & actually have the TIME to meet other, professional people, but am too old now. I find, personally, many nurses don't have time to meet others, don't want to associate with other nurses because it's just too depressing to listen to their whining, or don't make the effort to socialise. The number of times I have tried to start up support/coffee groups to meet other nurses, well; I can't count them now.
It's just started raining again outside now. Even the weather has gone bad again! I really feel like I'm slowly losing my sanity trying to keep this 'life' together doing nursing as a so-called career. I feel it has all been such a waste of a life. I wasted my youth being conned by people saying 'nursing is a brilliant career; you will always have work; you will always have security.' I know people who work/have worked in supermarkets who have a better and more secure career than a RN.
Please...if you're young & reading this, PLEASE DO NOT go into nursing. It is too late for me & I'm in a huge rut, but it's not too late for you. Choose a career that will let you travel, where you have normal or near normal working hours and where you make decent money to live on, if not heaps of money. Shift work is not worth your sanity, trust me.
I feel old, creaky, cynical, and used up by the BS nursing managers & lecturers who lied to us all about EVERYTHING to do with nursing.
It's now my goal to try & convince others on here to not take up nursing or to get out. And I am getting out; don't know if I'll study next year but I WILL get out into something else.
Stay tuned for more of this saga! Thanks for reading..... :)
