Do any of you hand write thank you notes? If you do, what do you say? My facility sends pre-printed notes that all of us sign, but for the last month or so I've started sending a relatively generic hand-written note to all of my patients who are discharged home... I work on an oncology unit, so many of our families receive sympathy cards instead. With that said, what is or is not appropriate to say in a thank you note?
Here's what I typically say in my thank you notes:
"I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed being your nurse during your stay on 12 East. You were a great patient and I'm so happy you're feeling better.
I hope you keep getting stronger every day!"
Lots of times I personalize the note with something I've learned about the patient or their family... and if I truly did not enjoy being their nurse or if they were NOT a very good patient (rude/demanding) I leave those parts out or replace them with something different.
What do you think?? I always use hospital stationary and never take patient info away from the hospital, so no HIPAA violations.
I don't think your leaving the card on Patient A's tray is the same as an RN writing a thank you note (??) to a discharged patient.
Agreed. I was sharing that story because that's as close as I've gotten to writing a patient a "thank you" note. I was sort of using it to illustrate what I feel is an appropriate way of expressing thanks.
Actually I just remembered... an onc floor I worked on does write a card and puts together a little care package for patients going on to rehab or hospice. We write one or two sentences, sign "from XXX floor", and send em off! Again, this is all kept WITHIN the system. I'm reminded of a cystic fibrosis patient who told me yesterday that he didn't want to go home on IV abx because he likes to keep hospital stuff in the hospital and tries to lead a normal life at home.
BTW - I think what you did was incredible and a wonderful gesture!
I still can't wrap my head around the term 'thank you' card. What's to thank? I think 'personal note' would be a better way to term this, because there isn't a darned thing you can literally thank them for.
Seriously. I consider myself more adherent to good customer service than average because I actually believe in it. But this angle really... perplexes me. It's disturbing. I'm sorry to put it that way. I understand you mean well but it is a bit odd. Really, what ARE you thanking them for?
Lots of you have made it clear that you feel sending a cheerful note to dying patients is unethical because they are no longer in my care. Lots if you say its a bad idea & don't want me to do it any more. Another mission accomplished.
There is no need to get passive agressive about this. The thought is lovely. The execution not so much.
Oncology is beyond difficult. However, watch your heart and use your head.
And I would most definetely think about becoming involved/volunteering in your local hospice. There you can continue to connect to dying patients on a completely alternate level. With that being said, you also have to walk out of the door and know you made everything peaceful.
There are also elder service agencies that have volunteers that give weekly phone calls, send notes, cards, meals on wheels, etc. That would also be a good way for you to connect.
Your heart may be in the right place, however, the policies and regulations that you need to work under make this practice a dangerous one. No matter how far fetched it would seem. And the comfort, kudos, or whatever it is that you are personally feeling about these notes would be better and safely obtained by alternate routes. But it will take you to objectively look at what people are saying, more experienced nurses, who have been there.
I just think this makes for a whole sticky mess. Many patients may not care, but then you'll run into the ones who are trying to keep their condition a secret and don't want their mailman or spouse or whatnot seeing a card sent from the hospital. Or that just want to move on and not be reminded of that time.
What if they return with a different nurse and get no card when they leave?
And like another poster said, you run into the risk of making someone think they are a "bad patient" if they don't get one or whatnot, or if you forget to send one during one particular visit.
Your heart is in the right place. It's hard not to bring your job home with you but you must. One of my first nursing school assignments was to bond with a nursing home patient and then therapeutically end our visits and never contact them again. It was a valuable lesson.
I would maybe write one line on the card given at the hospital. Or if you feel compelled to give your own card do it just before they d/c.
Reading this thread further now reminds me of a mailing I DID get from one of my medical providers. 10 years ago, I had surgery for a brain tumor. Four years ago, I had a routine MRI that revealed possible "changes" which raised concern for progressive or recurrent disease. At that time, I transferred my care as I had moved a few years earlier and I wanted a second opinion. My family does not know any of this nor that I was diagnosed with additional chronic conditions in the year that followed. The neuro-onc program at my facility sends mailings twice a year- once for a support forum for patients and the second for a memorial service for families of those who have passed. I was horrified when I received a post-card- addressed to my family- inviting them to the memorial service to honor "loved ones who have passed" (me). As I said, my family does not know of my need to see these providers, I have no intention of sharing it with them and I go to great lengths to hide it from them. Fortunately they do not live with me and I know that the doctors don't have their address but the idea that information could be shared with them even inadvertently was extremely upsetting to me (not to mention getting a mailing telling me that I had died). I imagine that there may have been new patients who hadn't shared the full details of their disease with their family yet who also got this mailing... and it was a post card so anyone who picked up the mail and the mailman could read it. The last time I was in the hospital, I didn't tell any of my family or friends that I was admitted... TWO people knew and that was it. So if any of them accidentally found out because they saw a personal note sent from a nurse, I'd be very not happy indeed.
KelRN, I am sorry that happened to you - all of it - the tumor, the note, the freakish invite to your own memorial service. I hope things are going down a better path for you these days and am certainly glad to see you here on our board!!! :)
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
You all assume the OP has such a lack of judgement that she cannot figure out who would welcome the gesture. If sent addressed to the person in a sealed envelope there is no HIPPO;) violation. She has her managements support and permission.
Seriously, I know many have been burned by a lot of things in acute care, but I do not feel she is taking some horrible risk of getting into trouble or burned. Also, an acknowledgement in these circumstances is not crossing the lines into inappropriate boundry territory.
I know that some people would send them inappropriately, cross boundries, pick the wrong person, but the OP does not sound as though she would have that issue.
To the OP - Keep in mind that while you may not appreciate or feel you need the advice offered by other posters, once you put the post out here others with little experience may decide to do the same without an understanding of the risks they may be taking. While you may see no benefit they can use the information offered.
This is one of the great things about a forum as opposed to simply emailing back and forth privately.
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Vespertinas
652 Posts
Agreed. I was sharing that story because that's as close as I've gotten to writing a patient a "thank you" note. I was sort of using it to illustrate what I feel is an appropriate way of expressing thanks.
Actually I just remembered... an onc floor I worked on does write a card and puts together a little care package for patients going on to rehab or hospice. We write one or two sentences, sign "from XXX floor", and send em off! Again, this is all kept WITHIN the system. I'm reminded of a cystic fibrosis patient who told me yesterday that he didn't want to go home on IV abx because he likes to keep hospital stuff in the hospital and tries to lead a normal life at home.
Thank you!