Do any of you hand write thank you notes? If you do, what do you say? My facility sends pre-printed notes that all of us sign, but for the last month or so I've started sending a relatively generic hand-written note to all of my patients who are discharged home... I work on an oncology unit, so many of our families receive sympathy cards instead. With that said, what is or is not appropriate to say in a thank you note?
Here's what I typically say in my thank you notes:
"I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed being your nurse during your stay on 12 East. You were a great patient and I'm so happy you're feeling better.
I hope you keep getting stronger every day!"
Lots of times I personalize the note with something I've learned about the patient or their family... and if I truly did not enjoy being their nurse or if they were NOT a very good patient (rude/demanding) I leave those parts out or replace them with something different.
What do you think?? I always use hospital stationary and never take patient info away from the hospital, so no HIPAA violations.
I agree it's a lost art, but this isn't the forum to revive it in.
We all sent a patient a thank you note once when they bought lunch for the whole unit. A nice lunch - catered and everything. Fancy stuff! That's the decent thing to do.
But that's different.
Suppose you take care of Sally Sue tomorrow and send her a note at discharge. Nosy Nancy is discharged the same day and cared for by a different RN. They meet in the clinic and Sally Sue is telling Nancy how wonderful her RN was. (This sort of stuff happens every day in our population. If I had a buck for every time I've heard, "Guess who I saw in the clinic?" from another patient, I wouldn't worry about my military pay being enough for my retirement years. I'd be set.)
Nosy Nancy is horrified, and starts spouting HIPAA and privacy violations and rages about creep factor.
Sally Sue leaves the clinic with a different and new interpretation of your gesture. And since nothing's been put in writing, your boss uses this as an opportunity to hang you out to dry (it's been done, more times than I care to mention).
At the very least, send an email to management and cc yourself saying you just wanted to go back over your prior conversation regarding your notes, that management thinks it's a sweet gesture (or whatever the words were), and that it's condoned.
Then if someone tries to drop you in it, you've got proof that they once said otherwise. And if the email's ignored (because they recognize the 'trap'), you've got another answer: in the event of a complaint, you're on your own.
^THIS scenario I have seem...that's the potential risk...patients TALK....and when they yell HIPPA, management WILL NOT be in your corner...
I like carolina's suggestion...I understand that you deeply care about your patients...make sure you deeply care about your license as much as you care about your patients.
It has nothing to do with us liking or not liking you and that's not the point. And I think plenty of people find sincerity in the smallest gesture for the very reasons you yourself have mentioned: it's a lost art in our electronic age when people think an email will suffice. Even bloody Hallmark has gone to the Webs.
It has everything to do with making sure you see what you're potentially opening yourself up to.
I understand the potential consequences of my kindness... I thank you all for taking time to repeatedly show them to me, even though that's not at all why I opened this thread.
Hey, what's your address? I'd like to send you a thank you note.
It has nothing to do with us liking or not liking you and that's not the point. And I think plenty of people find sincerity in the smallest gesture for the very reasons you yourself have mentioned: it's a lost art in our electronic age when people think an email will suffice. Even bloody Hallmark has gone to the Webs.
It has everything to do with making sure you see what you're potentially opening yourself up to.
helloberry My responses are not intended as personal attacks on you, they are just questions and comments to provoke you to think about this from another point of view. If you want an opinion that matters, I suggest you contact your BON and ask them what they think of with your practice of sending personal thank you cards to patients after discharge.
If I may....I understand your desire to connect with your patients and let them know they are in your thoughts. However, the "extreme" scenarios posted here have probably occurred in real life many times. Several of the responses I have read here are from nurses with many years of experience and as a fairly new nurse, you may not yet realize that over your career you will see patients and family members respond in ways to innocent incidents and gestures that boggle the mind. We truly are looking out for you, because our experience allows us to see further down the road. :)
helloberry My responses are not intended as personal attacks on you, they are just questions and comments to provoke you to think about this from another point of view. If you want an opinion that matters, I suggest you contact your BON and ask them what they think of with your practice of sending personal thank you cards to patients after discharge.
It feels like you are choosing to be argumentative for argument's sake, which is certainly a personal choice for which I won't judge. Thanks for your suggestion. While I am a new nurse, at 30 years old, I am not new to customer service/healthcare/HIPAA regulations since I began working in mental health 12 years ago... I get that it's a touchy subject and I love that y'all are looking out for me, however I have made my decision, gone through the proper channels to get permission for my actions and have thoroughly protected myself legally/liability-wise. I fully accept any consequences I may face for my actions.
Can we un-hijack the thread now and get back to the topic at hand? Please?
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I understand the nature of the relationships oncology nurses often develop with their patients, nurses can can form those bonds with hospice patients and their loved ones,with the elderly in LTC and with any frequent flyer patient.You are a new nurse and as such you need some guidance on maintaining boundaries.This brings up ethical concerns,too-you've said that you'll follow up only with a select few that you feel comfortable with-what happens when they are back on the unit and attempting to monopolize your time because they feel they have some kind of personal relationship with you based on your communication after discharge? What happens to your other patients who need you at the same time? What happens when the patient who received a note from you feels slighted because you can't spend as much time with them as they would like? There feelings get hurt,they feel betrayed by you. It's all about healthy boundaries,if you start out your career in oncology crossing those boundaries you may well burn out.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I understand the potential consequences of my kindness... I thank you all for taking time to repeatedly show them to me, even though that's not at all why I opened this thread.
Hey, what's your address? I'd like to send you a thank you note.
Well actually, it is.....you asked......
Hey y'all!
Do any of you hand write thank you notes? If you do, what do you say? My facility sends pre-printed notes that all of us sign, but for the last month or so I've started sending a relatively generic hand-written note to all of my patients who are discharged home... I work on an oncology unit, so many of our families receive sympathy cards instead. With that said, what is or is not appropriate to say in a thank you note?
and so.......your fellow nurses have answered you. It is because we care about you that we have explained at length why this might not be the best idea. The voices of experience feel obligated to warn you. while t=some patients might think this is sweet....you will eventually come across one that will feel this is WAY out of line and an invasion of privacy. They will become the bane of your existence. People are crazy and mean......we just want you to think about what you are doing. Consider the consequences.
If you feel it is fine and your boss feel it is fine then no harm, no foul. But many of us have been at this a LONG time hand have seen some pretty bad behaviors on the part of administrations when their behind is on the line......they will not hesitate to make you their sacrificial lamb.
Case in point...ask your boss/DON to put in writing that this is acceptable behavior using hospital letter head and that they condone/sanction personal thank you notes individually from different staff sent to families homes. You might find their response surprising.
Thank you notes are common courtesy. They are a nice gesture of any well brought up individual. But as a nurse you are supposed to be everything and anything while they are in the hospital but a figment of their imagination once they go home.
Case in point...ask your boss/DON to put in writing that this is acceptable behavior using hospital letter head and that they condone/sanction personal thank you notes individually from different staff sent to families homes. You might find their response surprising.
Yes, as I mentioned earlier, I have done this and both my nurse manager and DON, in writing, said it's fine and even a good idea.
I asked if y'all wrote thank you notes and if you felt anything was inappropriate to say in them... not what are your ethical opinions of my behavior. Y'all gave me that info for out of the kindness of your concerned hearts and that is one reason why I LOVE allnurses... There's never a shortage on diversity. But once that point was made, I truly hoped we could get back on task and not keep addressing the same thing over and over when I feel like I made it abundantly clear that I understood Maybe next time...
Maybe next time...
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
8,429 Posts
^THIS scenario I have seem...that's the potential risk...patients TALK....and when they yell HIPPA, management WILL NOT be in your corner...
I like carolina's suggestion...I understand that you deeply care about your patients...make sure you deeply care about your license as much as you care about your patients.