Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life.
I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?
The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.
I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.
Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.
Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?
Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.
Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.
Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?
After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.
So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I love to teach. I like to see that lightbulb moment. I love tough questions. However, in teaching I will challenge the new grad, student orientee to think on their own. I will ask them the question back or "what do you think?" If super busy, I will ask the learner to write questions down and we will review them later.
What I don't like is when coming to me and I ask basic questions(normal blood sugar levels and having a diabetic pt) and the student has no clue---deer in the headlight look---and if they aren't prepared then I will stop asking them questions......it may be mean but if you want my knowledge you need to have a bit of your own.
Just because students have graduated, doesn't mean the books are put away. New grads need to be proactive in their own learning too....look stuff up just to learn. I still look stuff up, read and study----learning never ends! There are many new grads who are doing great, learning and such. However, there are some that are lazy, spoiled and self centered as previous poster put it.
Yet I have read posts here from new nurses who say it's ridiculous to expect them to study or read on their own time, that they should be taught all they need to know in orientation. OK, fine, don't read or study. But when you're struggling while your peers who read and study are not, don't point your finger at your preceptor.
I've been a nurse for going on 30 years, and I have had to study on my own time whenever I have changed specialties. I didn't expect my employer to give me all the information I needed to know.
No one is saying rape and bullying are on the same level, but the op's post reeks of similar sentiments as those found in rape culture. You got raped? Maybe you were leading him on. You got raped? Maybe you shouldn't have worn that tight mini-skirt. You are being bullied? Maybe it is because you are weak. You are being bullied? Your problem. Get over it.
It puts onus on the target and not the perpetrator, an approach that I strongly disagree with. Instead we need to hold higher standards: instead of teaching being not to "get raped/bullied", we need to teach people not to rape or bully others.
That being said, some people are too sensitive and may misconstrued constructive criticism as bullying. However, when lateral violence does occur, it needs to be addressed and the accountability should be squarely on those misbehaving.
Thank you for getting it.
I am amazed that people have the audacity to practically tell me I don't know what these things are, and dismiss me comparing them on whatever level each of them may be. They do not know me, or know if I have been bullied or raped.
Not saying hello to someone or constructive criticism is not bullying someone. I am not sure why people are assuming that's what victims think bullying is. Someone who has actually been bullied would know the difference, but unfortunately someone who hears something they just don't like from someone else is quick to equate it with bullying.
I am an older student, 40, currently in an ADN program at a community college. My cohort is made up of a mixture of ages. I've actually been surprised how much this class complains-- about everything. The teacher is incompetent, clinicals are a joke, we don't have enough information... blah, blah, blah. Suck it up kids! Deal with it! Make it work! Attitude is everything and if you go into a class, lab or clinical with a bad attitude or an attitude of entitlement you're going to have a bad experience... period. Life if what you make of it and no body owes you anything. I admit, I get annoyed at times, everybody does... but I keep it to myself. If I am working with a nurse one day at clinicals that i think is a little less than helpful I really don't blame her/him. I see them running around like a dog chasing its tail and wonder how they get it all done AND still deal with me. I help the best i can, I observe and I listen. I am old enough to know that nobody can bully me unless I let them, I am not a victim-- ever. Have some respect for these educators and nurses that have been around the block more than a few times, you just might learn something.
Wow! I agree life isn't easy and no one should be spoon fed but there is no need to treat each other this way unless we need to boost our own ego with some power trip by putting others down and being mean! I've been a nurse for a very long time and honestly this is one of the reasons I don't want my daughters to be nurses! There is NO need to be rude or mean which unfortunately many feel they have the right too or justify it by saying they're having a bad day?? WE can be OUR professions own worst enemies by the way we treat each other! We are responsible for the lives of patients in our care which causes a lot of stress, especially to new grads, not to mention the risk of a lawsuit with each room we walk in to! I really hope we continue to get more men in this field because for the most part, unless very insecure, they treat each other better than women treat each other and are much less likely to gossip, point fingers, and be overtly cruel. Doctors look out for each other, hospitals look out for themselves and their doctors when a mistake is made but nurses are an easy scape goat for both of them! Nurses don't look out for each other, WHY? It's much easier to point the finger, probably middle, at each other instead of fostering and nurturing our own! I feel a lot of this poor treatment comes from being understaffed, overworked, and Administration not wanting us to be united . Preceptors should be assigned fewer patients if they chose to precept a new grad or a new hire. If your going to treat fellow nurses this way how do you treat your patients that may ask questions, or too many, not sure what your limit is?? Do our profession a favor and treat each other compassion, understanding, and respect! No one is perfect and new grads and new hires are insecure and at our mercy. There is no way you got to where you are in nursing without other nurses taking their precious time to teach you.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
There is a new generation of nurses who expect everything to come easy to them. They have always won a prize just for showing up,they have been told they are special all of their lives. They show up for their first day on the job with nothing but lunch money. No stethoscope, pens, notebook, nothing but a cell phone.
The types of things that I don't want to repeat over and over are very basic to in my LTC.I encourage them to keep notes or make a cheat sheet to refer to in the future.. Basic procedural things such how to re-order meds, how to find out if you need a script for a scheduled drug and how to re-order them, how to complete an incident report( What is considered an incident? Who to notify ,where to document,etc.) Many show no interest and will put out very little effort. They will stand there with their arms crossed.Fast forward ,they are cut loose after their orientation (with reservations) and on their own on a unit by themselves and are clueless. We have completed the long check list and they'll claim they have no idea how to do any thing on it,will swear up and down they never heard of those things.
By this time they are nurses,they know the basics (ABC's,the rights of med admin,etc) They seem to think because they are out of school they are done and don't have to learn anything else.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I really hope we continue to get more men in this field because for the most part, unless very insecure, they treat each other better than women treat each other and are much less likely to gossip, point fingers, and be overtly cruel. Doctors look out for each other.
The men I work with can gossip circles around the women. Generalizations don't usually work. Also, have you worked in a teaching hospital? The hierarchy of med student, resident, fellow, and attending can be very adversarial.
There is a new generation of nurses who expect everything to come easy to them. They have always won a prize just for showing up,they have been told they are special all of their lives. They show up for their first day on the job with nothing but lunch money. No stethoscope, pens, notebook, nothing but a cell phone.
The types of things that I don't want to repeat over and over are very basic to in my LTC.I encourage them to keep notes or make a cheat sheet to refer to in the future.. Basic procedural things such how to re-order meds, how to find out if you need a script for a scheduled drug and how to re-order them, how to complete an incident report( What is considered an incident? Who to notify ,where to document,etc.) Many show no interest and will put out very little effort. They will stand there with their arms crossed.Fast forward ,they are cut loose after their orientation (with reservations) and on their own on a unit by themselves and are clueless. We have completed the long check list and they'll claim they have no idea how to do any thing on it,will swear up and down they never heard of those things.
By this time they are nurses,they know the basics (ABC's,the rights of med admin,etc) They seem to think because they are out of school they are done and don't have to learn anything else.
Wow. Maybe your hiring manager needs to have a nurse on the panel. Out of all that I have seen, Every new grad and every newish nurse that is changing specialties has NEVER been even remotely like this.
Ok, there was one. He was in our in-facility SNU. I didn't like him from the start, and because I was just going on gut feeling, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. But he spent all his time at the computer, barely entered his patients' rooms, and left all the dirty work to the CNAs. His report was atrocious, often not even knowing why the person was in the SNU. When I said to him, "Don't you think you should know why they are here, at least?" He replied, "They are stable. I just give 'em meds."
Then he told me his plans: He couldn't get a job anywhere else (wonder why?), so he did his time, then got a job at a huge university facility on a tele unit. He didn't really want to ever be a bedside nurse; he wanted to be a CRNA. (When he told me that, I immediately thought of the posts here by Ruby Vee, and her stories of disinterested ICU new grads that just were putting in their time. A little light bulb went off in my head!) He was anxiously awaiting his acceptance to an MSN program so he didn't have to be bedside any more.
I looked him right in they eye and said, "Do your patients a favor and get your CRNA as soon as you can. Conscious patients aren't your forte."
I have very little patience for willfully bad nurses.
My, can't we agree to disagree without being anatagonistic??
I am not a nurse, nursing student or potential nursing student. There was a time when I aspired to be one, yet I found that I did not have the where withal to fulfill that dream, such is life. How did I realize that? I did 1 year of a clinical practicum in radiation oncology. Although I excelled academically, I had two left hands in clinical... My instructor told me that some people are smart academically but are not able to adapt to clinical. So, in the best interest of the patient I resigned my seat and pursued other avenues.
Were there times I wanted to believe there was a conspiracy, yes. Did I feed that gremlin, NO. I do not by any means discard bullying, abuse, racism and the rest of the isms. I also do not discard the fact that sometimes we need to do some soul searching and really evaluate ourselves, yes based on the observations of others. That is what I had to do, so I speak from experience. So, some of the OP's post I agree with, some of it I do not. Yet I realize that is their opionion and they are entitled just as I am. As fiesty as some of these posters are you could run a training class on how to not be bullied. No offense to anyone, just my say...
I have worked in a teaching hospital. My observations come from 25 years working in many different areas also from speaking and observing women in mostly male dominated careers like financial planning and engineering. I'm sure if we were on an engineering community blog it wouldn't be filled with all this bickering! We need to focus on improving our profession, acting professional, and sticking together!! Management actually take classes on how to keep us divided and they do try to divide us all the time! We are strong together but weak divided! Hospitals and health care facility could not function without our licenses we have worked to hard to get and maintain. Sorry to go on and on just a lot of pent up frustration over the past 25 years of wondering why we do this to each other!
Remember the old days you showed up to work, to actually work. Someone on here once said, "We don't prey on the young, just the weak". Don't get me wrong a real bully needs shut down. So flame on, it you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
Some nurses seem to romanticize this notion that “life is tough” and ‘the best mentors are the meanest/hardest’ ‘it makes you better'…….blah blah you've heard them all. It just like when people romanticize things such as poverty and add a sense of novelty to something where it doesn’t belong. I think the best mentors combine at least decent interpersonal communication skills with knowledge. Sure plenty of nurses have knowledge and experience but it takes much more than that to be a preceptor.
I’m sure this battle of new nurses vs. experienced nurses has been going on since the beginning of nursing. As a newer nurse myself who is coming into this as a second profession I’ve worked in many fields prior to this and sadly I think there’s way more bullying/tattle tailing in nursing than any other profession I’ve been exposed to. It seems like a lot of girls that were the mean cheerleaders you see portrayed in movies grow up to be nurses. Hate to say it because there are plenty of great ones too.
Thank you so much for recognizing this. My education did not prepare me sufficiently for the reality. I'm not whinning or expecting everything to be easy but as student nurses we had minimal clinical time- as glorified CNA's- after doing patient care we read charts and wrote care plans. We did not get to practice so many necessary nursing skills- wound care, physical assessment, IVs, interdisciplinary communication, how to prioritize, manage multiple patient needs, how to manage CNAs. Give me a break! I'm doing my best.
My instructor told me that some people are smart academically but are not able to adapt to clinical. So, in the best interest of the patient I resigned my seat and pursued other avenues.
No offense to anyone, just my say...
OCNRN63, RN
5,979 Posts
Yet I have read posts here from new nurses who say it's ridiculous to expect them to study or read on their own time, that they should be taught all they need to know in orientation. OK, fine, don't read or study. But when you're struggling while your peers who read and study are not, don't point your finger at your preceptor.
I've been a nurse for going on 30 years, and I have had to study on my own time whenever I have changed specialties. I didn't expect my employer to give me all the information I needed to know.