Recently a co worker committed sucide. In the note that she left she stated that she was tired of being told how stupid nurses are and how a "monkey" could do a nurses job. This nurse Was one of the best, unfotunatley the political side of nursing got the best of her. None of us saw it coming.
She was one of the few that stood up for the patient, she would stand nose to toes with a DR when she thought he was wrong. There is always someone that
will find a persons weak spot and hammer away until they distroy the person's self estem. Unfortunately these people delight in destroying another person by lying and setting them up to take the fall for their own incompetence. This is what happened to my friend. The hurt for some of us is so deep that we are ready to quit. A few already have, I am seriously thinking about it. We have been to grief counceling as a group and separtely. I beg anyone that is having problems please get help, find another job, just do something, Nursing is not worth losing your life over. Think of your family and friends.
And to the corporations that do nothing to stop these people that lie, cheat and manupliate others, you are just as guilty as the others. You may as well shot her yourself.
i am sorry for your loss. your friend must have battled with depression for some time. i still don't think any job is worth that amount of stress. any time a person commits suicide it is usually related to multiple things not just one factor. so it is possible there were other issues involved. my prayers go out to you.
Death never seems to escape me in this job, a job of caring, but I deal with it and help those that can't, it doesn't make me any better, it just makes me care. I am truely sorry for your loss. Take Care.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Suicide is so tragic because those left behind will always wonder if they could have done something differently to change the outcome. It leaves so many questions unanswered. God bless you, your friend and her family at this time of great sadness.
your message left me feeling very saddened by what happened, i know this from experience, as over that past few years i have several life events that have left me alone and unsupported, i looked at my job as the only thing i had left that made me feel good, a place where i could give and love, i am too a very good patient advocate, but the problem grew over time at work and there was a coworker who did not like nor except my personal problems and began starting rumors that singled me out of groups and she even went to extreme measures to put me in my own pt group so that i was left out of report, i began to become more depressed and could not get anyone to help me at work, this person complained about everything i did until my nurse manager had me in her office on a daily basis, stating that this nurse did not agree and this nurse did not agree and that my charting needed to be better and that no one trusted me with patient care, i was not bothering anyone, but i did come to work everyday with pit in my stomach and left crying everyday after work, she seperated me from everyone and i had no one to talk to , my patients were worried about me, i was getting help, but my nurse manager kept telling me that the places i was going were not qualified, one being my priest and church support group, i was totally beaten down until all i did was cry and then the panic attacks started, my nurse manager would start on me, early morning, follow me around, insult me at times, stating i was not good enough and should i be working, and kept saying to get help get help but then telling me it that they were not qualified, she ended up writing me up for not changing a time in the computer when a drug was given, i gave it at 12 noon and when i did my charting that afternoon we have computer charting, it sucks bad, you have to back time and date everything, well it charted at 1400 and she stated she asked the patient if she was medicated at 1400 and the pt of course said no she was not. and she was right, i was not done charting yet so i had not went over my days work, but she immediately in front of everyone slammed her hand on her desk and told me to go to her office immediately, i was in the middle of going to a pts room whom was bleeding out and i told him i would be in there with him when he was in the bathroom. so i went there first, she followed me to the room and in front of the pt and family told me to get into her office now she needed to see me, i was in such a panic that the heat was pooring out of my head, she wrote, me up stating that the pt was not medicated yet it was charted, i told her what had happened and that i i was not done charting yet, she told me she did not care, and i started crying again, she had this other nurse had this tendancy to play on my emotions and make me afraid to do anything, my depression was getting worse instead of better, no one knows what that feels like and when your friends turn on you and stop talking to you also, and you eat alone, and work alone, you become anxious, my panic attacks were out of control, and my meds were not helping, and then she told me that i could not even work taking medications. this is not true i have talked with the nursing board and the ana. but to make a long story short, i went home that friday night and sat at my dining room table alone staring at a bottle of valium which i was given to help sleep at night and to help with panic attacks and cried all weekend trying to make the decision to live or die, this is a story that no one unless you have been there could ever understand why people commit sucide, but constantly loosing and being kicked when your down does help, i do not know her story but i am sure work had something to do with it but probably did not precipitate it. she needed peace, and politics suck when you cannot fight back, you would think medical trained medical staff would know and help but this nurse that started it she mys well have drove me to the top of the bridge and gently shuffed thats is all it would have taken, i am so sorry this happened and wished that more people understood, how unappreciated you feel anyway when you do feel good, the only reason i am alive today and it has been about three weeks now, is because i have one son left at home and is down as i was and still am he is why i am here, my older children just do not get it either, but my youngest does, i am on fmla, which is something people need to consider, my nurse manager kept telling me there was not such thing as personal days, thank god i contacted the ana. if you see someone feeling down, and personally changing her behavior patterns, do not assume what you do not know, ask her and support her, give her something to feel good about, getting written up almost killed me and the impulses are still there, please say a prayer for this nurse, she just needed something and no one was there to offer, being depressed does not make you weak, and working and doing something you are good at you no your good at it should not be something taken away, work is therapy, i do plan on transferring somewhere, the last two transfers i put in she stopped, but i will keep trying, i think that all of us need to say a silent prayer for this nurse and her family as people just do not understand the feeling of constant loss and defeat. it is very frightening, when all you want is peace, you are all right there is more to her story, god bless her and her family, a good prayer would be the prayer of saint francis, it is one of strength, people just need to think, not judge there are millions of people out there who are depressed and work everyday, and do just fine, its the alone time that is bad, god bless all nurses
It is a very sad story, but an important thing to remember is nursing did not cause her to commit suicide. Shee probably was battling depression. The fact that her job took so much of her life and could cause her such distress shows that there must have been underlying problems. I think our job can cause us distress, but most of us don't allow nursing to rule our lives-- we know that it is only part of our life.
does anyone here know if there is any hotline numbers that nurses can call and get help if they need any help? i am in a situation where i have no idea what i'm suppose to do and nobody who i can talk to about it. and right now i am feeling very depressed and feel like a nurse who commited a suicide.
I can see nursing and the way things are contributing greatly to a nurse's suicide. If this woman was the kind of person whose entire identity, self worth, and view of the world was irrevokably intertwined with being a nurse, I can see how it happened.
I have experienced deep depressions related to nursing.
Me too Hellllo Nurse. It is likely because I am type A, perfectionistic with high standards and tend towards depression due to family history. In retrospect, nursing was likely not a good career choice for me due to my personality type. I cannot blame my depression on nursing alone, but lets say it has not helped. But hindsite is 20-20, eh?
Anyone here feeling suicidal just type in 'suicide' on your computer and all kinds of hotlines will come up...also there is a depression thread on this BB where nurses can share. Please reach out, do not feel alone.
Hugs to all and hope you are enjoying your holiday season.
does anyone here know if there is any hotline numbers that nurses can call and get help if they need any help? i am in a situation where i have no idea what i'm suppose to do and nobody who i can talk to about it. and right now i am feeling very depressed and feel like a nurse who commited a suicide.
i'm really sorry you feel so trapped and powerless. asking for help when you need it is a sign of strength.speaking to a stranger is often helpful, especially when you can't talk to a colleague, a family member or a friend. i don't know what the situation is like where you live, but here there are suicide prevention hotlines that are manned twenty-four hours a day, and are particularly well-staffed coming up to the holidays.
if you're feeling this overwhelmed, you really do need to talk to someone. good luck.
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
To Graduate nurse: your employer should have "EAP" employee assistance plan, and if you call them they can get you urgent assistance. Please call asap.
I'm deeply troubled over your coworkers' untimely death. I've had ideations myself. I've had dreams of being in hangmans noose. I want to salvage my career and get into something not so directly involved with patients and people. I don't know where to start.
Recently a co worker committed sucide. In the note that she left she stated that she was tired of being told how stupid nurses are and how a "monkey" could do a nurses job. This nurse Was one of the best, unfotunatley the political side of nursing got the best of her. None of us saw it coming.
She was one of the few that stood up for the patient, she would stand nose to toes with a DR when she thought he was wrong. There is always someone that
will find a persons weak spot and hammer away until they distroy the person's self estem. Unfortunately these people delight in destroying another person by lying and setting them up to take the fall for their own incompetence. This is what happened to my friend. The hurt for some of us is so deep that we are ready to quit. A few already have, I am seriously thinking about it. We have been to grief counceling as a group and separtely. I beg anyone that is having problems please get help, find another job, just do something, Nursing is not worth losing your life over. Think of your family and friends.
And to the corporations that do nothing to stop these people that lie, cheat and manupliate others, you are just as guilty as the others. You may as well shot her yourself.
I'm deeply troubled over your coworkers' untimely death. I've had ideations myself. I've had dreams of being in hangmans noose. I want to salvage my career and get into something not so directly involved with patients and people. I don't know where to start. QUOTE]
There are so many areas where you can develop your career - have you checked through all the interesting areas located throughout allnurses.com? Or maybe you want to consider expanding into other fields as well? There are so many possibilities. Was there a time when you did not have those kinds of dreams? Of course you can get into something where you would feel better. Can you identify some of your other interests? Hoping for you.
angel337, MSN, RN
899 Posts
i am sorry for your loss. your friend must have battled with depression for some time. i still don't think any job is worth that amount of stress. any time a person commits suicide it is usually related to multiple things not just one factor. so it is possible there were other issues involved. my prayers go out to you.