This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.
I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."
He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"
As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated!
Of course he's not a nurse!
Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!
I was receiving report the other day. the nite nurse said "Mr.X in Rm.XXX has a hx of Left AKA. But not anymore, now he is here for a wound." I was confused and just looked at her and questioned "he doesnt have Left AKA anymore?" she said "no, that was resolved" I said "Are you sure? Isnt that-" she cut me off and said "yes. I am." she was clearly in a hurry to leave. I was thinking... umm maybe I have my abbrv messed up... she finished report and left. I went straight to his room and imagine my surprise *sarcasm* when the pt's left leg was still amputated!!!
OMG I DIED laughing!!!
Scary tho, made me wonder about the assessment that was done... esp when she was able to palpate a pedal pulse in the LLE....
HAHAHAHA!!!! What did you say the next time you saw her?!
long, long ago, my mechanic father rushed to the hospital, where mom had been taken, for my delivery. when dad got to information & asked to see his wife, the receptionist need a hint or two - like where he thought she might have been taken. dad said, "i'm pretty sure she's in the labor division."
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
I came home one evening from my first nursing job, and DH was asking what all I had seen that night, so I told him about a case of cellulitis (no names, of course). He asked when they would have their sx, and I was confused until he expounded, "Well, aren't they gonna liposuction it out"?
I kinda saw where he got that idea, once I got up out of the floor from laughing....cellulitis-cellulite.
Specializes in LTC, short term rehab, hospice, MDS.
Im in Hospice care and the ex (and there are a lot of reasons why he is an ex) said to me one time after a particularly grueling day... "your job cant be that hard, I mean you cant mess up because they all die anyways right?"
Ok have any of you ever watched the comedian Jeff Dunham? Anyways he has a puppet named Achmed The Dead Terrorist, he is a skeleton. Ok we were watching him on comedy centeral one night and Achmed made a joke saying that he was having a bad time and he thought he had Scoliosis. My DH breaks out laughing like it is the FUNNIEST thing he has ever heard. Well I know my husband and I said "Do you know what Scoliosis is?" to which he replied, " Yea it is a flesh eating disorder, Achmed is a skeleton dear, shouldn't you know this being a nursing student?!" And continues to laugh as hard as he can.......Had to set him straight on that one....
My husband---and I love him dearly---didn't believe me that incontinence pads are referred to as Chux. He thought I was making up the name because I used to go out with a total doofus named Chuck.
(Actually, that would be a big insult to incontinence pads---they have much more personality than good old Chuck.)
my husband---and i love him dearly---didn't believe me that incontinence pads are referred to as chux. he thought i was making up the name because i used to go out with a total doofus named chuck.
(actually, that would be a big insult to incontinence pads---they have much more personality than good old chuck.)
i had a similar discussion with my husband once. i finally just referred to them as "those big blue pads." we had a leaky kitchen sink when we bought our first house and i lined the underneath area with chux and then just changed them prn until it was fixed.
when my goddaughter was about 11, she went grocery shopping with me and was humiliated almost to tears when i added a rump roast and breast of chicken plus a box of tampax to the cart. final insult was when we got home and my husband unpacked and put away the offensive items. :imbar he's a man,
You can tell him that I had one after my third child and my childless sister has had one too.
sunkissed75, CNA
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