Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

Nurses Humor

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This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.

I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."

He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"

As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated! speechless-smiley-040.gif

Of course he's not a nurse! :devil:

Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!

make your own just buy green peanuts-ones that haven't been cooked or roasted put in large pot with h2o to cover them add lots of salt. when you think you've added enough salt add some more! bring to a boil and then let simmer for hours, at least 6, more if you can. add more h2o and salt prn (always have enough water to cover shells while cooking) a general rule held by southerners is the dirtier the h2o looks the better the peanuts will be!! ENJOY!

Dowhatnow?

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Specializes in med/surg, AIDS, trauma.

that was for the person who loved boiled peanuts but thought you could only get them in the south. sorry, i should have been more specific:eek:

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My sister's kids regularly tell my sister that they have "ear infuctions". Loudly. In public. Kids say the darnest things...

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Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.
that was for the person who loved boiled peanuts but thought you could only get them in the south. sorry, i should have been more specific:eek:

Love boiled peanuts, but very hard to find green ones North of S.Carolina.

There were some survivors of Katrina that ended up in Massachusetts. Someone called me to ask where I got my grits. I referred them to Whole Foods but had to admit that my family mailed me my stock. But I did pop dOwn to the Chinatown area to get raw peanuts to boil for them - the guys at Haymarket had no clue what they were.

(they are used in Thai cooking, thus often available in Asian markets - though I get odd looks when i ask for 5 lbs.)

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Specializes in Medical.
My sister's kids regularly tell my sister that they have "ear infuctions". Loudly. In public. Kids say the darnest things...

They'd be right at home in New Zealand - the Kiwi accent turns 'fish and chips' into 'fush and chups', 'six' into 'sux' and 'infection' into 'infuction' :)

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Specializes in mental health + aged care.
They'd be right at home in New Zealand - the Kiwi accent turns 'fish and chips' into 'fush and chups', 'six' into 'sux' and 'infection' into 'infuction' :)

I suppose that's better than turning 'six' into 'sex' like the Australians do though, lol

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Awe how sweet:)

and this is the kind of thing that makes all the administrative crud, and short-staffing, broken, missing equipment/supplies worth it. Suddenly being a nurse is the most interesting, fun thing in the world again. (until something happens and I hate it again!)

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Specializes in Ortho/ Neueo, L&D.

either that or a pound of M&Ms in one sitting!:yeah:

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Specializes in Ortho/ Neueo, L&D.
Almost pneumonia...did you tell her in medical terms its called a cold? :lol2:

like being a little pregnant?:clown: Yikes!

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

My ex hubby. "Lorraine, is very pregnant!" ( his teenage sister). Really? As opposed to slightly pregnant?

LOL

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Specializes in NICU.

My boyfriend is convinced that you can get crohn's disease from washing your hands too much "because it weakens your immune system since you never come in contact with germs." No amount of explaining can persuade him otherwise... Oh, and when I ask him where he possibly got this information, he says that his brother (who is an accountant) told him (I just graduated nursing school). Oh well...

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Specializes in ICU, medsurg/tele.

My boyfriend INSISTS that acetaminophen is the same thing as aspirin. I have told him MANY time it is not aspirin and it is tylenol. He still insists i am wrong even when i get the bottles out to show him. :)

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