It's been awhile since we had a stupid nurse tricks thread, so here goes: How to look Incredibly Stupid Without Really Trying:
Call in to work because it's snowed and it's "not worth your life to drive to work on those roads." Be in a bar down the street from the hospital when your best friend at work uses the "Find My Friends" app on her iPhone to check on when her replacement will get there in to relieve her. (Will you lose your job?)
You've got horrible abdominal pain, but you suck it up and come to work anyway. Yay, you! You collapse in your patient's room and are whisked off to the ER by your manager and an RT. You insist that you're infertile and couldn't possibly be pregnant as you're delivered of a full term baby girl. (OK, this one was a CNS and nursing student.)
Call in sick to work because you want to go to your manager's wedding and you didn't win the "get the weekend off" lottery. Catch the bouquet. (And lose your job.)
You're having palpitations, and you're a little lightheaded and slightly diaphoretic. Strangers at the mall are concerned and offer to call an ambulance. You decline, telling them you're fine. Then you think that you probably should go to the ER, but since you know from AN that you won't get a sandwich to eat, you sit down at Bertucci's and order a plate of ravioli. Then you drive yourself to the ER, park at the bottom of a hill and walk uphill to the entrance. You're surprised when the triage nurse takes you straight back. (Yes, that was me. I was fine.)
Tell everyone at work that you're young, you want to have fun, and you're going to a friend's Halloween party after work. Go to the party dressed as a sexy nurse, and be in lots of pictures. Post those pictures on Facebook. Now call in sick to work the next day at 06:50 for your 07:00 shift. You've friended everyone you work with on FaceBook. (And NOT lose your job. What are the odds?)
Steal money from your colleagues' bags in the breakroom. Get caught by a colleague with a black belt in tae kwon do. Be photographed with a 5 foot tall girl flipping you and then sitting on you until Security arrives. (Have your manliness questioned by everyone who sees the pictures.)
I can't give the specifics or someone might recognize me, but let me say this: Just because you have years and years of exp. does not mean you should attempt to reduce a large hematoma on yourself (not saying how it happened) with an angio. Ever. Unless you want to make lots of visits to a surgeon for wound care. Like 9-10 months.
He was a pretty good sport about it; didn't rib me as much as I thought he would.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
One of my classmates who had been a medic in 'Nam went to give his first IM on a male pt. who was ~50's. Classmate gets him in position, then slaps him on the butt, gives shot, bada big bada boom. Instructor, who was a kindly, grandmotherly type apologizes profusely to pt. Pt states it was the first time the shot didn't hurt; classmate said he was using distraction technique, and that's how they did it in 'Nam. Another one of my classmates, who also happened to be a 'Nam vet, verified that that's what they did.
I know this is often called one of those nursing "urban legends," but it really did happen, at least it did in my class.
Classmate gets him in position, then slaps him on the butt, gives shot, bada big bada boom. Instructor, who was a kindly, grandmotherly type apologizes profusely to pt. . .that's how they did it in 'Nam. Another one of my classmates, who also happened to be a 'Nam vet verified that that's what they did.
I know this is often called one of those nursing "urban legends," but it really did happen, at least it did in my class.
I had a nurse give me shots like that when I was 9 (do the math, that would have been late 70s). She explained it was to "confuse the nerves" (trying to explain gate-control theory to a kid). The needle never hurt!
I had a nurse give me shots like that when I was 9 (do the math, that would have been late 70s). She explained it was to "confuse the nerves" (trying to explain gate-control theory to a kid). The needle never hurt!
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Makes sense, I've had numerous patients actually say they "liked" the pain of getting an IV put in because it distracted them from whatever pain brought them into the ER. Like when you have a headache and you stub your toe. Headache gone! Well, temporarily haha
One day when I was still on the floor as an RN, another nurse had floated to the unit. Our floor had many GI patients, and this nurse came from a cardiac floor. Later in the day, she came to me and asked where we kept our enema equipment because she had an order to give a milk & molasses enema. I showed her where it was and since this wasn't her regular unit asked if she needed help. She smiled and said no and that she had given enemas before.
I remember sitting at the nurses station as she went into the pts room, and running in after hearing someone shout "What the &%$# are you doing!!!" Turns out the nurse had inserted the enema tube into the pts lady parts instead of the orifice. I'm not sure how much of the enema got in. I ended up caring for the pt after that (the pt banned the prior nurse from entering her room). It wasn't fun because she was suspicious after her milk & molasses douche and kept asking me questions for the rest of the shift! The pt was chubby (not obese), but I'm still not sure how she did that.
near the end of 1st semester fundamentals clinicals (when we could finally start passing meds), COB of an instructor. student injects 1 mL of air into a morphine carpuject - morphine shower on said COB - more paperwork than the student could handle (not me)
What does COB mean? I tried google without success lol.
Fall on valentine's day and go to the ER after twisting both ankles insisting the left one is just fine and only have them xray the right. Go home walk ( no really limp) around for five days. Go to work on day five, for a class and insist your fine even though you can barely put weight on your left leg at this time. (I could hardly walk in from the parking lot, but I did). Refuse all offers to go to the ER. Go home and your mother has to threaten you that if you don't go she will make you go. Drive yourself. Have said left leg xrayed to find out you have a fractured fibula and now can't work for the next 8 weeks. I could see the x ray from across the room and just knew. Also the NP that is treating you was in your study group in nursing school. What a way to feel like a total doofus.
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
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