It's been awhile since we had a stupid nurse tricks thread, so here goes: How to look Incredibly Stupid Without Really Trying:
Call in to work because it's snowed and it's "not worth your life to drive to work on those roads." Be in a bar down the street from the hospital when your best friend at work uses the "Find My Friends" app on her iPhone to check on when her replacement will get there in to relieve her. (Will you lose your job?)
You've got horrible abdominal pain, but you suck it up and come to work anyway. Yay, you! You collapse in your patient's room and are whisked off to the ER by your manager and an RT. You insist that you're infertile and couldn't possibly be pregnant as you're delivered of a full term baby girl. (OK, this one was a CNS and nursing student.)
Call in sick to work because you want to go to your manager's wedding and you didn't win the "get the weekend off" lottery. Catch the bouquet. (And lose your job.)
You're having palpitations, and you're a little lightheaded and slightly diaphoretic. Strangers at the mall are concerned and offer to call an ambulance. You decline, telling them you're fine. Then you think that you probably should go to the ER, but since you know from AN that you won't get a sandwich to eat, you sit down at Bertucci's and order a plate of ravioli. Then you drive yourself to the ER, park at the bottom of a hill and walk uphill to the entrance. You're surprised when the triage nurse takes you straight back. (Yes, that was me. I was fine.)
Tell everyone at work that you're young, you want to have fun, and you're going to a friend's Halloween party after work. Go to the party dressed as a sexy nurse, and be in lots of pictures. Post those pictures on Facebook. Now call in sick to work the next day at 06:50 for your 07:00 shift. You've friended everyone you work with on FaceBook. (And NOT lose your job. What are the odds?)
Steal money from your colleagues' bags in the breakroom. Get caught by a colleague with a black belt in tae kwon do. Be photographed with a 5 foot tall girl flipping you and then sitting on you until Security arrives. (Have your manliness questioned by everyone who sees the pictures.)
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I was on the code team and a code was called for a location right outside of the front doors. I hauled the code cart through the whole hospital to this location, didn't account for the "lip" on the door since it was outside. Pushed the code cart over the lip, code cart fell over after one of the wheels broke off, all of the drawers fell out, and the defib crashed to the floor. Then, because I'm awesome, I fell on top of the code cart and bruised my shins top to bottom. I had to carry all of the contents of the code cart back up to the ICU in a wheelchair while maintenance repaired the cart.
The kicker though - since this wasn't an inpatient patient, it was ED who was supposed to bring their crash cart, not me (from the ICU), I just had to respond to push meds. Oh, and the fact that approximately 15 people witnessed me crashing the cart and falling on top of it!
Specializes in school nursing, home health,rehab, long-.
Cheesepotato!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You are back. I just let out a little "eeeeeee". So happy to see you post again. Just know you were missed by this school nurse!!!
Faux pas. Too many to post. This was fun when a pre-k kiddo shows up sick. Call the parents that speak Spanish to pick them up. They get here and that was not their precious baby. Two kiddos with the same first name and last name Rodrigues and Rodriguez. Parents were super sweet about the whole thing as I wiped egg off of my face. Oops. Lets just say I wanted to issue all of the students a hospital bracelet after that little adventure. Good times.
Specializes in school nursing, home health,rehab, long-.
It was a dark and stormy night.
Everything that could go wrong, did.
It would take me writing a book to tell you about the whole shift, but there was the crowning moment...
Things were moving fast and I needed to get a urine drug tox sent to the lab now because time was-a-tickin' and my pt needed to have this done for a procedure.
My patient was a combative nightmare, but getting the urine sample should have been easy; she had a foley.
No.
Another nurse and I struggled with a little old lady who was desperately trying to murder us with her bare hands...
But I pulled back on the syringe and I got it.
I was worried, though, because would it be enough?
Other nurse: "How much could you get?"
Me: "I could only get 10cc's".
Other nurse: "Well, I think that should be good. You can only get what you can get."
Right.
Off it went to the lab.
Phew! Now I can get this other crap done.
A tech comes to get me.
My little combative lady's foley has come out.
I froze as the possibility is... nooooo...
I find my pt and sure as shaving cream, there is my old gal waving her foley, deflated balloon mocking me where I stood.
I could only do one thing, and so I busted out laughing.
The other nurse and I laughed until we cried.
It was a perfect 10 cc's...
Then I had to call the lab.
Me: "Yes. That urine sample for the drug tox... I do believe we sent you a sample of saline. I suspect that sample was pulled from the wrong port."
Lab: "Oh... that test is complete... Oh! It came back negative."
Me: "Yes. It was saline..."
The night continued on and did not improve until I swiped my badge to go home (very late).
To this day, whenever something goes wrong or is bordering on ridiculous, you can hear one of us mutter under our breath, "Ah, yes... it was a perfect 10cc's".
First time I saw an electric bed (and I know this dates me) I was having so much fun making it go up and down that I took out the fluorescent lights in the ceiling. My clinical instructor was not impressed!
I did something like that with a bed that had the IV pole attached to the gurney. The pole impaled the lights over the gurney.
I also took out one of those exit signs that hang from the ceiling with an IV pole.
I can see your fluorescent lights and IV pole and raise you five grand, which is what it cost to replace the defibrillator on the shelf I took out with the electric bed.
Then there was the time I lowered the electric bed not realizing there was a foot stool underneath it. The bed wasn't lowering any more but it kept making machinery-noises...until it detached its own footboard and fell off, leaving the footboard and all its wires on the floor and the bed perched on the foot stool. I was able to put it back together before anyone saw me, though. :)
Specializes in school nursing, home health,rehab, long-.
I remembered a little treasure from a zillion years ago in nursing school. Okay, I am a wee baby nursing student at the public health department sitting in while my preceptor takes a health and history on a new pregnant client. She gets to the part that asks if any birth defects run in her family. At the speed of light this is the thought that ran through my head. Old episode of "Bosom Buddies" where Henry is meeting girls from a dating service. One of the prospective dates reveals that she has webbed toes. The very next words out of new mommy to be are, "I have a cousin that has webbed toes." I almost fell out of the chair. I can't tell these people what just happened...but I feel I can share this with my AN cohorts. I watched too much TV a child.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
Not me: You know those power cords attached to the beds? Yeah, it's a really good idea to make sure they are completely in the elevator before allowing the doors to close and the elevator to move. There's an elevator in my facility with a rather large dent in the ceiling . . .
Me: When using multiple bags of irrigation fluid during a cysto procedure, ensure the bag's tubing is fully clamped before removing the spike for a fresh bag. As soon as that bag was below the level of the other in the series, my poor preceptor for the day was covered in extremely sticky glycine.
Specializes in Float Pool-Med-Surg, Telemetry, IMCU.
When begging a hardhearted doctor for an IV Ativan order for an agitated patient it is helpful to remember that the patient does not, in fact have IV access. Had to sheepishly call back a minute later...
First day on the job as a CNA on the unit I was hoping to work on when I graduated nursing school. Sweet little demented old man gets up and starts booking it to the bed. I grab him in a bear hug to keep him from falling and...Ping! There goes his PICC line across the room; I failed to notice his IV line was caught on a chair. Nurse was not impressed.
Chatting with a TURP patient while showing him how to switch from a night bag to a leg bag...tubing was on really tight, when I finally disconnected it pee splashed on my face...and in my open mouth. Patient didn't understand why I had to suddenly frantically wash my mouth out at the sink.
Was only on my new unit for a few weeks. I was working midnights, and went to answer my patients call night at about 3am. On my old unit, we wore tracers that automatically turned off the call lights, so I never had to do it manually. Well, the pts pump was just beeping, so I fixed it without turning the lights on. Reached behind the bed to cancel the call light, and accidentally activated the code blue button without knowing. I continued to talk to have a convo with my patient, and before I knew it all the nurses were running into my room with the crash cart. (Let's remember I work L&D). What a great way to make a first impression!!
I'm a nursing student in a VN program 4 months until graduation! Mine isn't as funny as some of yours but I'll share anyways.
Awhile ago at clinical I had a feeding tube patient. I've had a couple of these now so I knew how to do it. Well apparently I didn't put the syringe all the way in the tube because when I went to flush it I got a nice shower of water and left over feeding. Yum! It was all over my face and hair. I found chunks later. I can't count how many alcohol swabs I used. And my patient was awake and alert and laughed! At least it somewhat smelled of vanilla?
I've done this more times than I'd like to admit. One shift, the patient actually started wincing and flinching each time I'd go for the tube- I had sprayed us both multiple times!
1st year of nursing moment: Agreed to take on an extra 4 hours after my 12 hour shift. Of course someone codes at hour 15. I'm hypoglycemic and full of adrenaline, pumping this patient so hard. When it's time to transfer him to ICU, I offer to grab the emergency medicine kit for the trip. Doctors and RT wheel patient into elevator and it looks pretty crowded in there to me so I figure I'll be kind and grab the next one down.
As the doors close, I stand on the opposite side, grinning and waving. Everyone in the elevator looks puzzled. The doors close. I realize I am about to take the next elevator, alone, carrying emergency meds for no one.
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
that sounds painful in oh so many ways!