Student's hygiene?

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I know that there is a thread somewhere but I need help. I have a student who is in 2nd grade and his hygiene is very poor. On a normal day is very unkempt, has a slight smell of BO, and never has underwear and socks on. Last year it was an issue too. He has a sister who is a year older and doesn't have a problem with hygiene. Teacher wanted to talk to me about the issue because the student is basically being excluded by other students due to the odor. How do I go about this? What is a good plan of action? I know I have to talk to the parents but should I also include the social worker too?

We felt sorry for him growing up. Everyone outside the family thought he was adopted, or he was my brother....we do all look alike.

Hate to admit his parents were the "filthy" rich kind, because they're family....

His sister is a great person, even if she is spoiled. Now by a rich husband too....

OF COURSE!

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I have heard of parents dotting on a single child (and, even if it might be hard to admit, everyone has favourites) but this made me a bit sad. What parents behave that way? I feel sorry for this guy... And chances are, his parents are going to realize too late that it's not likely he'll ever help them should they need him. Family ruined...

Dany

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For those wondering how do I know about him not having underwear and socks? HE TALKS ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME. He has had quite a bit of accidents and will inform me of the fact he ain't wearing them...

This makes me so sad. Parents need to be on board with this, and not to the detriment of the child--in other words him getting in trouble at home over accidents. And a 7 year old having multiple accidents would alert me that something is up.

He needs to be toileted every 2 hours? He needs to have available to him wipes and clean underwear and pants and socks? At 7, he is unsure what to do and embarrassed that he is having accidents. So some sort of plan needs to be put in place.

I would get social work involved as well as some testing to see exactly what is happening with this kid. Undiagnosed disability? Sometimes parents are looking for anything to SSDI their kids. Sad, but so true. So they do not become invested in the best needs of the child. And if the child is throwing away underwear due to accidents, or whatever is happening, it needs to be addressed on a number of levels.

I feel for this kid. But it has to be handled in such a way that parents aren't going to take it out on the kid.

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As a teacher, I've had students in this situation before. We always contacted the parent to let them know (which is tough enough in itself). Sometimes the parents are embarrassed and deny the problem, so we also let them know that it's impacting their child socially, because others do not want to play with him or her. The social aspect helps the parents get involved. I've had parents with different cultural backgrounds who weren't used to the same hygiene routines, and I've also had parents who were struggling with getting their kiddos to bathe routinely due to a fear that the child had or some other concern. I would start with speaking with the parents, and if they are not receptive, then contact the social worker. I wouldn't want the parents to be put off by immediately contacting the social worker. The social worker (at least at my school) wants to know or see attempts that parents were contacted before they were.

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Specializes in kids.
I have a weird view on this from my own family:

I have a cousin who is STILL (40+ years later), second to his sister. He's a year younger than her, but he didn't get any college help, always wore secondhand clothes, never got to participate in any extracurricular activities, no help with a car, etc. He was honestly lucky to get more than clothes as gifts & they were NEVER new. It was the only reason his mother went to thrift shops or yard sales with my mom (my mom couldn't afford anything better for us). My mom taught him how to do his laundry at 7 because his mom refused to wash his clothes anymore! I do know my dad had "the talk" with him about growing up....he's in between my 2 brothers that are 13 months apart.

His sister got the BEST of everything--designer clothes, PAID college education (8 YEARS) by mommy & daddy at an Ivy league school, numerous activities, and an expensive new car at 16. When she totalled said car, daddy took her to the dealership for another one....her mom & dad even paid for her expensive wedding (over $100,000) and down payment for a house that I know from the address is pushing $1 million or more.

When he got sick a few years ago and had a stroke (genetic abnormality), his mom refused to let him move in with them or visit! He ended up getting a cab home and paying a neighbor to cook for him....his sister has free babysitting services from their mom. Anytime she wants....mom & I have asked him to move closer to one of us, but he's come to terms with it & says he's doing fine where he is WITHOUT their help.

I had a family where the child she had @ age 17 was treated like this (she was stuck developmentally at the age she was when she got pregnant). Interestingly enough, she later had a child who had SIGNIFICANT medical issues and subsequently died. She did everything right by this child, everything. One might think she is older now and able to do more for the first child.

Nope. Not so much, That bond will NEVER be developed and not surprisingly, he is is out of district placement.

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This is all so sad. I guess we all know kids like this.

That being said, sometimes BO is just...BO.

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I have heard of parents dotting on a single child (and, even if it might be hard to admit, everyone has favourites) but this made me a bit sad. What parents behave that way? I feel sorry for this guy... And chances are, his parents are going to realize too late that it's not likely he'll ever help them should they need him. Family ruined...

Dany

I don't have a favorite. I love my kids equally, but like them better (or worse) at different times. :)

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.
I don't want to get all political, but I can't help but think how beneficial it would be to funnel a whole lot of money into the education system rather than some other areas and make sure every school has a licensed nurse on the premises, as well as a MSW, other counselors as appropriate, and access to a child psychologist and child psychiatrist for those concerns that seem to pop up in school age children.

A pipe dream, I know. And while I mean no offense to private schools, I think a lot of politicians can be blind to the plight of public schools when their children are typically ensconced in a ritzy private school.

Oh, and the fact that a lot of people on some school boards seem way more concerned with creationism being taught, and "white washing" our history to worry about the physical, psychological, and emotional health of their students.

I know I'm neither a school nurse or parent but I can't help these controversial concerns. Keep fighting for the kiddos, my friends.

You've gotta rearrange your priorities...football takes top priority. Once that is funded, then you can talk about items of lesser importance like education and student health.

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send the kid home. Call the parents first to tell of code of conduct, dress and hygiene. The other kids cant concentrate on their lesson, with the kid smelling like a dump.

Where's that dislike button we've been asking for?:sarcastic:

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I talked to social worker and she wants to set up a meeting with mom along the principal so we can address the issue. We are both worried about there being neglect/abuse involved.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, School Nurse.

This reminds me of several situations I was involved in. 1)1st or 2nd grade girl, not too bright. I was asked to see her about a bad odor; she had a general dirty smell with a fecal/urine odor as well as unwashed hair smell. I wanted to speak to Mom. She came in to see the principal later that week for an unrelated issue. The problem was apparent, as Mom smelled worse than her daughter and left a long lasting residual smell in the principal's office. 2.) Was speaking to a high school girl about assisting her younger siblings with lice removal (they all lived with Grandma, who had other children in the home.) She revealed--no vacuum cleaner, no washer/dryer, no money for laundromat, water heater didn't work. Laundry was done by hand in the tub with cold water. Bathing was done with cold water at the sink, or infrequently in the shower if they could stand it. 3.) Two jr. high siblings had bad hygiene and dirty clothing--including animal waste on the clothes. DFS was brought into the situation. Their single mom had some cognitive impairment and no support system. DFS got someone to do an initial clean-up of the house. A contract was set up with Mom for various things including what nights the children were to shower on. You just don't know what you are dealing with when you have a smelly kid.

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Update: Student informed teacher he only gets a bath on Sundays because "dad said it is too much work to do it on the other days". I asked if he gets a shower at all during the week and he said no. We are having a meeting Thursday with teacher and social worker.

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