Struggling, am I a crappy nurse?

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Two shifts, two codes, both my pt. One as soon as I got there. The other as my shift was ending (back to back shifts). Looking to see if anyone had any experience with pt's dying close together under their care. Wondering if I am turning into a black cloud. Busted my jump all day with this pt and another. Pt stable most of the day. Then he went south quickly.

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Specializes in Gerontology.

You are not a crappy nurse. These things happen. It's just bad luck.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

Nope. That's life. The last chapter of the book of life is death. You were doing your job.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

One time while I was working LTC, we had a rash of deaths on my shift over a period of several weeks. It was a bad flu season that year, and so many of our residents caught it and developed pneumonia in the course of their illness. I worked 3-11 and it got to be ridiculous...I think we lost a total of 9 residents. All on MY shift. It got to the point where the other staff were calling me the Angel of Death, and I started dreading going to work. It was awful, and nobody was happier than I when people stopped getting sick and things returned to normal.

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Absolutely.

Except, take out the word "crappy".

You are going to have to give some much more compelling data before you can be termed "crappy". I am going to guess these two didn't come in for sprained ankle, or having a cough for 6 hours.

What you described sounds like nursing to me.

I think I am a pretty decent nurse. And judging by the acuity of the patients I am assigned, the charge nurses think so as well. While most of my crew co-workers range from good to great, some are crappy nurses. They are infrequently given super sick patients. I would guess, if you were to just look at outcomes like 30 day survival rates, the crappy nurses would look pretty good, and I would look pretty crappy.

We have an excellent surgeon in our area. She is willing to take cases others won't touch. I am guessing her stats are not awesome, but she is the one most of us want on call if it is our family members.

Sounds like you busted your ass doing your job.

Sorry you are having a rough time.

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Specializes in Surgical, quality,management.

You could be one of my grads! For the month of September she was a **** magnet. Similar 2 codes a ward intubation which rarely happens, a hypoactive delirium GCS3, a pt who was so septic in a matter of hours on the ward he was obtunded. Along with everything else that comes at the end of winter (Australia) including a spike in flu cases.

She was so ready to quit I had convince her to take it a week at a time.

4 weeks later and she has just asked if she can stay on the ward after her program finishes.

What I am saying is take it one week at a time. At the end of a shift pick out one thing you did well. Write it down, and when you have bad days pull out that list and remember you are a good nurse.

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Nope not at all! We're going through a similar phase at my LTC. Five residents passed in two months on one ward. I'm sure you did all you could to prevent it, but we can't play God. People pass away every day.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

If you haven't gone through the phase of being a "Crap Magnet", you aren't really a nurse yet. Congratulations on being a nurse!

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Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.

My first night off orientation in the ICU, my first admission died within 40 minutes. That week three patients of mine died. None of my coworkers batted an eye. We all have periods of time like that, it's no reflection on you.

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A doctor once commented to me "why do you always have my sickest patients?"

Agree with PPs that this is just a phase. You can't prevent it. Don't let it eat your confidencell

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Everybody goes through a black cloud period. I had one when I worked with a particular charge nurse. I absolutely adore this particular charge nurse, but every time I was with her, it was a crap show of a day.

It happens. It will go away.

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As others have said, it isn't you, it happens.

Do note that your charge nurses may go out of their way to give you more stable patients for a while--that doesn't mean they think you can't handle tougher assignments! It means that they know how much it sucks to have a patient pass, and they don't want you to have to go through that again too soon (even though it happens to everyone eventually). If the charge starts giving you easier, more stable assignments, it isn't because they don't trust you with the sicker ones; it's because they're trying to do you a favor.

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