Strangest thing you've heard a co-worker or patient say?

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Today, from a charge nurse, after he evaluated a patient's lung sounds (and let me listen; "textbook wheezes" with some crackles): "It sounds like her lungs are playing 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia!'" ;)

Once I was in a room with a Doctor who was telling the pt he was going to stop his "blood thinner" medicine. The pt looked very concerned and worried saying something like "I don't want my blood to thicken, that can kill you, cant' it?"

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Specializes in Geriatric and Psychiatric.

while i was in nursing school i also worked as a cna. i had always heard rumors that a certain pt had been a local madam when she was younger. i never quite believed the tale until one fateful sunday morning as the other cna i was working with and i were exiting the pt's room as 2 local pastors were walking down the hall visiting. my sweet little old lady calls out to the pastor's "you can get these two for 10 bucks!" i have never tried so hard not to laugh and been mortified at the same time!:bugeyes:

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1. When filling out a lab slip for a UA C&S, she wrote "UA CNS". It took three people and 20 minutes to explain the difference to her:banghead:

3. Another charting episode occurred when a male patient was feeling ill. She was charting his condition and asked me how to spell "pacific". I responded by asking her what she meant; her reply was "Mr. X has no pacific complaints". I replied that Pacific was an ocean, he has no specific complaints. OMG!:no:

This is a seasoned (20 yrs. or more) LPN and it kinda scares me that she is responsible for 30 odd residents and hands out narcotics. :uhoh3:

hmm around here, we write UA CNS, and know what it means.....there is no Q in subcutaneous either, but we write it sq on occassion.....and the specific is a very common spoken error......i think she is well aware of her weakness and is at least asking.......from nursing school onward i have been known to write done instead of down and vs....no known reason....

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Specializes in Aged care, disability, community.

I was admitting a resident with dementia this evening and I asked her if she knew what year it was. Her reply was "Did you know that Queensland is full of queers and they all live with their partners?".

I was like ok um well this is your buzzer.

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I laughed so hard my stomach hurts...I cannot believe you said that..That is so wrong

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Specializes in Aged care, disability, community.

I didn't know what else to day so I kept on with the room familiarisation.

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Specializes in ER.

First year of nursing. How young and naive I was then.

Had an middle aged "gentleman" in full blown DT's: combative, hallucinations, etc. Required 4 point restraints. As I'm tying him to the bed, he looks up at me and says, "Baby, one night we can get a bottle, a room, and we can do this ALL night long. In the morning we can call the fire department to come cut me loose. But D**n baby, I gotta go to work in the morning!"

I was left speechless as my coworker laughed her way onto the floor.

Later that same night, I went into his room (now restrained). He asks, "Who are you?". I stated, "I'm SuzyQ, your nurse." His reply? "You aren't much of a nurse or you'd be up here riding me like a horse!" :uhoh21:

Uh? Was that in my job description? Cuz I think I need a raise!

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Okay, probably not the strangest, but it definitely ranks up there. It was one of those nights, I was in charge with 4 patients: 1 needs to go to ICU, 1 is a total care with a million dressing changes, and 1 wants to leave AMA, she just pulled her foley. My 4th patient calls out on her call light, needs to see her nurse right away, has questions she needs answered. Of course she's miles away from the nurse's station, so I drag myself down the hall, "What do you have questions about?". She answers, "What is the best way to get rid of a skunk smell after you've been sprayed?" :angryfire

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Specializes in Adult Acute Care Medicine.

When recently re-assessing a pts pain.....

ME: "Are you feeling better? Are you now less than a "4" on the painscale?"

PT: "Yes, I'm better. I'd say my pain is now between a "3" and "5"." :rolleyes:

Yes, the pt was A/Ox3.

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Specializes in NICU, PEDS, M/S, DOU, ICU, REHAB.

Before I became a nurse I was a phlebotomist for a county lab. A couple of teens, (under 15 if I remember right), from a group home, (severe mental illness), were driven in. 1st draw is fine, not eventful. The second one- well, I wish someone could have been there to witness..

This kid had a very odd way of speaking. He would ask a question, sometimes repeating the last word several times and then answer his own question. Except, he should not have known so many odd personal things about me.

He asked me how I liked the city I JUST moved to-specifically naming it, and then asked how my boyfriend was liking his new move to a different city-specifically naming it. And then asked about my daughter and instead of naming her directly, he named her by naming a nearby lake, that happend to share her name.

I asked him how he knew so many things, he never answered me. He just kept asking and answering all these questions about me.

I was so flustered and shaking, I actually missed his vein the first time- got it on the 2cd, and he was apologizing to me.

It was a strange encounter I have never been able to forget, or explain.

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Before I became a nurse I was a phlebotomist for a county lab. A couple of teens, (under 15 if I remember right), from a group home, (severe mental illness), were driven in. 1st draw is fine, not eventful. The second one- well, I wish someone could have been there to witness..

This kid had a very odd way of speaking. He would ask a question, sometimes repeating the last word several times and then answer his own question. Except, he should not have known so many odd personal things about me.

He asked me how I liked the city I JUST moved to-specifically naming it, and then asked how my boyfriend was liking his new move to a different city-specifically naming it. And then asked about my daughter and instead of naming her directly, he named her by naming a nearby lake, that happend to share her name.

I asked him how he knew so many things, he never answered me. He just kept asking and answering all these questions about me.

I was so flustered and shaking, I actually missed his vein the first time- got it on the 2cd, and he was apologizing to me.

It was a strange encounter I have never been able to forget, or explain.

that is weird but kinda cool

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

from an elderly, confused man: "you'd better hide! my wife is going to be really mad if she finds you in our bedroom!"

from an elderly woman while i was checking her temp rectally: "ohhhhhh, ooooohhhhhhh! that feels sooooo good!"

from an elderly man who somehow removed is oxygen sat probe from his finger and put it on another appendange entirely: "help! help! that snake's got my dick and you're going to have to cut it off!"

from an intern on one of his first nights on call -- as i tried to wake him for a patient that wasn't doing well, "i'm sorry, baby. i've got a headache."

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