Strangest thing you've heard a co-worker or patient say?

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Apr 10, 2008

This is one of MY bloopers...one night I was having a very bad night and one of my coworkers helped me out in a big way. To express my gratitude, I meant to tell her "I could kiss you & hug your neck" - not an uncommon phrase in the South.

What came out was, "I could hug you and kiss your neck." Whoops.

squeakykitty · Apr 10, 2008

During my CNA clinicals the instructor asked one of my classmates about a residents BM. The classmate said "It's in my pocket". Everyone cracked up.

What she meant was that she wrote down the size on a piece of paper that was in her pocket.

car_crash_heart1408 · Apr 19, 2008

Needless to say, the charge nurse I work with isn't the brightest. Just a few examples:

1. When filling out a lab slip for a UA C&S, she wrote "UA CNS". It took three people and 20 minutes to explain the difference to her:banghead:

2. While charting on a resident, she turned to me to ask if ""left foot" was spelled the same as "he turned left"". :confused:

3. Another charting episode occurred when a male patient was feeling ill. She was charting his condition and asked me how to spell "pacific". I responded by asking her what she meant; her reply was "Mr. X has no pacific complaints". I replied that Pacific was an ocean, he has no specific complaints. OMG! :no:

This is a seasoned (20 yrs. or more) LPN and it kinda scares me that she is responsible for 30 odd residents and hands out narcotics. :uhoh3:

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Apr 19, 2008

.....3. Another charting episode occurred when a male patient was feeling ill. She was charting his condition and asked me how to spell "pacific". I responded by asking her what she meant; her reply was "Mr. X has no pacific complaints". I replied that Pacific was an ocean, he has no specific complaints. OMG!
This is a seasoned (20 yrs. or more) LPN and it kinda scares me that she is responsible for 30 odd residents and hands out narcotics.

This MAY be more of a speech thing the a dumb thing, don't know your situation but one of my friends always does that she CAN NOT say specific, it always comes out pacific.

sunny261 · Apr 19, 2008

anyone have quote books? I used to work with a nurse who was always mispronouncing words...actually it was quite funny...we got a book and started writing funny statements or comments from staff, patients/families and the doctors....We called it Judyisms and we would giggle and laugh going over the book...esp when we'd have a trying day....have to say I even made THE book....lol

love_being_an_aide · Apr 20, 2008

This one nurse I work with had a patient who had sprained his member. So, I am walking by the room going to change an incontinent patient, and I hear her say, I'm ***, i'm going to be your nurse tonight. How's your member doing? Did the doctor put a sling on it?" God, I almost wet myself. :yeah:

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Apr 20, 2008

This one nurse I work with had a patient who had sprained his member. So, I am walking by the room going to change an incontinent patient, and I hear her say, I'm ***, i'm going to be your nurse tonight. How's your member doing? Did the doctor put a sling on it?" God, I almost wet myself.

I am sorry but I need to ask as a female non-nurse. How do you sprain your member?

Yenta7 · Apr 20, 2008

One night, I had a pt who was very confused and disoriented. At one point, I wanted to see if the patient wanted assistance back to bed:

"Sir do you want me to get you into your bed?"

He replies, "I'm gonna report you! I'm gonna report you for propositioning me!!!"

That definitely helped temporarily take my mind off my frustration. Hehe

elizabells, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2008

I am sorry but I need to ask as a female non-nurse. How do you sprain your member?

Oh, how shall I be delicate about this? During, uh, vigorous sex, if the member slips out and then the two people move back together really quickly without realizing it, the member can hit against the partner's pubic bone (or ischial tuberosity, or whatever) and be damaged. I don't know if I'd call it a *sprain*, exactly, but the tissue inside is spongy and highly vascular, so if it ruptures inside it can cause pain, swelling, deformity, and actually permanent damage. Happened to my roommate in college. He said it was about the worst thing ever.

BabySweetpea · Apr 22, 2008

The other day I cared for a very elderly very confused man. He refused to put clothes back on and of course refused to stay in bed. As I was sitting with him trying to talk him back into bed he looked up at me and asked if I knew when the plane would be here? I asked what the plane was for and where he was going, he stated that "we needed to drop off the body in Mexico" He went on to complain that he never had a choice, and always had to do what "they said". Considering his Italian last name I wonder if I had a mafia retiree. I got him back into bed by telling him the plane was running late and he had time for a nap. Hey nothing else worked that afternoon! :clown:

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Apr 23, 2008

Oh, how shall I be delicate about this? During, uh, vigorous sex, if the member slips out and then the two people move back together really quickly without realizing it, the member can hit against the partner's pubic bone (or ischial tuberosity, or whatever) and be damaged. I don't know if I'd call it a *sprain*, exactly, but the tissue inside is spongy and highly vascular, so if it ruptures inside it can cause pain, swelling, deformity, and actually permanent damage. Happened to my roommate in college. He said it was about the worst thing ever.

Thanks for the explanation. I just could not figure it out. I am so nieve.

RobLPN · Apr 23, 2008

I had a confused older black lady look at me with a serious expression and proclaim "I'm your mother" One problem I'm white.

I should have said "Mom! Mom! All these years I've been looking for you!!"