Strangest thing you've heard a co-worker or patient say?

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Today, from a charge nurse, after he evaluated a patient's lung sounds (and let me listen; "textbook wheezes" with some crackles): "It sounds like her lungs are playing 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia!'" ;)

From a nurse I was working with recently, "Guess what I just found out...Dr. So and So just told me that Tylenol can kill you. I thought that Tylenol was just like Aspirin, I didn't know it could hurt you". I swear it's true, I was just sitting there open mouthed not believing what I was hearing!

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Needless to say, the charge nurse I work with isn't the brightest. Just a few examples:

1. When filling out a lab slip for a UA C&S, she wrote "UA CNS". It took three people and 20 minutes to explain the difference to her:banghead:

2. While charting on a resident, she turned to me to ask if ""left foot" was spelled the same as "he turned left"". :confused:

3. Another charting episode occurred when a male patient was feeling ill. She was charting his condition and asked me how to spell "pacific". I responded by asking her what she meant; her reply was "Mr. X has no pacific complaints". I replied that Pacific was an ocean, he has no specific complaints. OMG!:no:

This is a seasoned (20 yrs. or more) LPN and it kinda scares me that she is responsible for 30 odd residents and hands out narcotics. :uhoh3:

Thanks for that one! If she can make it in nursing school and pass her boards then I know I will be just fine! LOL :chuckle

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a patient said "i'm going to die tonight." And he actually died that night! That's strange to me...

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Specializes in Emergency, outpatient.
from an elderly man who somehow removed is oxygen sat probe from his finger and put it on another appendange entirely: "help! help! that snake's got my dick and you're going to have to cut it off!"

omg ruby--i'm laughing so hard i cant see to type....:chuckle

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Specializes in Oncology.

i had a lady that was in for hypercalcemia... she was very confused, of course.

she was looking out the window and she was like "oh... look at all those crosses outside" and i was like "um... those are powerlines" LOL

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Specializes in telemetry, med-surg, home health, psych.

In report yesterday am, the night nurse told me the pt. had "cranial/anal inversion".......I looked up at him with a questioning look.....then it hit me.......

(head up his axx)...(pt. had beaten his wife)

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Specializes in CST in general surgery, LDRs, & podiatry.
in report yesterday am, the night nurse told me the pt. had "cranial/anal inversion".......i looked up at him with a questioning look.....then it hit me.......

(head up his axx)...(pt. had beaten his wife)

but he was the one in the hospital? did she open up a big ol' can of "whoopaxx" on him in response? not that i condone either one - but self defense has something to recommend it......

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Specializes in telemetry, med-surg, home health, psych.

ShariDCST----he was in our Detox Unit----police brought him in....

Yes, I would have hoped she got in a punch, too......

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

Earlier this year, I thought I found a lump so while getting it checked out by my primary, she told me "You're too young to get cancer".

HUH??!!??!!?? :smackingf:

I'm 33!!

I've worked enough shifts on the oncology unit, and lost friends/coworkers to cancer at young ages to know that statement was full of #$%. :cry: :redbeathe

I must have given her a crazy look because she immediately got quiet.

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Specializes in telemetry, med-surg, home health, psych.

grace90-----in comparison, I went to have a stress test done at a cardiologist that my primary recommended....upon entering he said "what are you doing here? You are too young to be here"!!!

I am over 50 !!!!!! Duh....................??????

(all did go well, tho)

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
grace90-----in comparison, I went to have a stress test done at a cardiologist that my primary recommended....upon entering he said "what are you doing here? You are too young to be here"!!!

I am over 50 !!!!!! Duh....................??????

(all did go well, tho)

To quote Beavis and Butthead, "What a dork!" This last week I was assigned to two early-40-somethings with AMI's. Sounds like the cardiologist has a serious case of cranial-anal inversion! (Actually, take that back, one was even younger)

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I had a patient in dts who was yelling out gems all nite. The best came, however, when we were sitting around quietly charting and he yelled, "Somebody!!!! Get me a knife!! I need a knife......I'll explain later!!!!" riiiiigghhhhht a knife, great idea. He also told security, "These Registered Nurses broke a pencil off in my d--k!" Best of all was when I went in his room to find him covered in brown stuff (and I don't mean chocolate) He said, "I tried to get that guy to help me wipe my a$$ but he wouldn't so I did it myself", as he held up his now brown mitten. Priceless.... :lol2:

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