stay at home or work? Please offer advice

JB2007, ASN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

Your child should come first. If you can afford it and can handle being at home full time I would do it. My children are older now and I was not able to stay home with them when they where little. I missed out on a lot. Also, when your child is sick they need and want Mom. Nobody else would do in my children's case.

However, since your husband is out of town so much could you handle being at home so much. Personally, I would need some adult time. I love my children but it would drive me nuts if I only saw them and nobody else most days. Maybe try for a part time or PRN job elsewhere if your current employer will not give you those kind of hours.

Enjoy your baby they grow up way too fast.

carachel2 · Feb 4, 2009

Opinions on this are going to vary. When my daughter was that age we *could* have gotten by on his salary, but due to the nature of his job (a field where layoffs are frequent and are at the whim of the market), we felt it was important for me to at least keep a foot in the workplace. I went part-time and worked about 15-20 hours per week. Sure, our daughter still got sick occcasionally but gradually it was less frequent. She is now school-aged and I swear she NEVER gets sick.

I take comfort in my young cousin's story. Her 1 year old exclusively breast fed, never been to day care daughter has had so many ear infections and illnesses it is mind boggling. Kids are gonna get sick.

Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

I recently started work as a new nurse and love the job. I am a new graduate as an RN. But, I have a 9 month old baby who keeps getting sick and keep having to take off work. She was never sick before she went into daycare, and since has had 2 ear infections and a virus in 1 month. My husband does not help with the baby as he is away for business and I have no family in town. We could probably swing the bills without my income, but I am afraid I will never be able to work as a nurse.
I am home today as she still has a fever and cannot go to daycare. I am soooo tired as she is up all night and then I have to work all day. She was sleeping through the night until she started getting sick. Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated. Do you think I would regret staying home?

I don't think you'd regret staying home one bit. You know your daughter will get great care from the one who loves her most. :)

I took a weird route myself with this. I was done with the LPN portion of my program right before my first child was born. I went to work when she was 3 months old and really was quite miserable with working away from her, even though her caregivers seemed good to me when I was around. It was a hassle finding daycare, and had I not had a facility in which I could occasionally bring my daughter to work, I really don't know what I would have done some days other than call off of work. After I had my second daughter, I started in medical transcription, which is more my style anyway.

I find that even with working at home, if I am not working full time, I get antsy to do something else. I also take classes online to keep me learning and sane. When I work full time, though, I feel better about what I am doing with my time. I feel I have the best of both worlds.

In the end, you will have to do what's right for you. While it may seem like staying home would be something that is a long-term proposition, I assure you these children grow up faster than the speed of sound and you'll be back in the workforce before you know it. You also wouldn't be the first nurse to take time off for children and then return to the workforce, either.

I have to say I'm sorry to hear that your husband is always away when you have a baby and a full time job. To me, that seems terribly unfair to you. You have a lot on your plate. I hope your baby gets feeling better, too.

Neveranurseagain, RN · Feb 4, 2009

One of the problem I see is that you are a new nurse and by staying home completely you are going to lose skills and knowledge. It would be difficult to re enter nursing several yrs down the road as a new nurse without much experience.

Talk to your employer and see if you can go part time and HOPE they don't get sick on your days that you work.

I suddenly became a single mom (a widow) when my kids were 9 and 10 with no family available. I worked for 3 mths afterward but got up on Jan 2 to the toilet overflowing, my daughter had a FB in her eye and my son was throwing up. And I had just taken off 3 days from work because my daughter had a fever/cold. Then my daughter needed eye drops q2 hrs for 3 days...I gave notice and quit.

Now my kids are 13 and 15, and I work independently --nanny for newborn twins, private duty nurse, medical standby for special events and I TAKE CARE OF SICK KIDS FOR NURSES THAT WORK! LOL! It's only part time but helps pay the bills...

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

That is really a tough decision. If you go PRN, you might have trouble finding childcare for the days you do work since many places make you pay up front. And if your child gets sick on one of the days you are scheduled for PRN, well you are in the same boat.

If it were my choice, I would stay home no question about it. You could always take an RN refresher course when you are ready to return. Keep in mind that you will probably be dealing with the same issues when your child starts school and gets exposed to all those new germs again!

Honestly, I don't know how you working parents do it. My hats off to all of you (from a school nurse who has to call parents like you all every day :) )

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

I think you already know what you need to do. Let us know what you decide, and best of luck to you. Hope your baby starts feeling better soon!

GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

I would try to find a part time job. It would reduce the amount of time in daycare, and the amount of call offs.

marilynmom, LPN, NP · Feb 4, 2009

If you can swing it financially I would stay home with your baby for a few years---you will NEVER regret that!

And yes, you can find a nursing job after that. Most places offer a refresher course for RNs who have been out of the workforce for awhile and any good unit would have an orientation period.