stay at home or work? Please offer advice

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

Wow...that is a tough one. My kids didn't start getting sick till they went to preschool since they didn't got to daycare. I'm thinking that it is the intital exposure to all the germs and then they don't get sick as much. So....it will get easier, but can you keep calling off?

What about working part time? You still get to get the experience and out of the home work, but at least you have less chances of needing to call off.

If you decide to stay home....I really don't think you will regret it. Stay active in nursing groups like this, keep up your reading and you will stay current. There will be plenty of time to work in the years to come. I'm fortunate enough to be able to work PRN and don't regret the time I spend at home plus..I don't work enough to get the "burn out" and I actually enjoy going to work.

MB37 · Feb 4, 2009

I don't suppose any of the hospitals in your town offer a "sick child care" for their staff, do they? Mine does, but I live in a big city and don't know how common it is. What do you mean by "my husband does not help with the baby"? I'm hoping it's just that he can't stay home with her, as he's often physically out of town. When is he home - weekends? Could you switch to a weekend option program at your hospital, or work F-Sun nights when he is home?

Only you can decide if you'd be happy staying home with your baby - I know that I couldn't do it if I had a child, especially right after graduating. If you can make working work for about a year, you'll have the experience you'd need to work PRN or casual most places, which could make your life a lot easier if he still has to travel. If you do decide to stay home, definitely keep up on your reading, and be aware that you may have to take a refresher course if/when you choose to go back to work, and that it may be harder to get hired at all.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

eriksoln, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

I think you already know the answer here..........U R tired, kid is sick, no options for daycare and no family in town.

The fact that you are already tired would be what jumps out at me. Dont go in when you wont be your best.

alexis79 · Feb 4, 2009

Thank you both for your replies. My husband is out of state for 4 months a year and works 7 days a week. So, essentially my care option is daycare and they do not allow sick babies. I would like to be able to swing staying at home, but I still want to keep my foot in the door. My job is full time only.

eriksoln, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

Oh, wow. I just realized when you say "stay at home" you mean for good, not just calling in sick or not going in on an off day like I thought you meant.

Gee, my post must have come off so flipid to you.

Staying at home for good is a different story. Thats a tough one. Hope something that can get things straightened out for you comes up. And I hope your kid starts feeling better.

Equinox_93 · Feb 4, 2009

I recently started work as a new nurse and love the job. I am a new graduate as an RN. But, I have a 9 month old baby who keeps getting sick and keep having to take off work. She was never sick before she went into daycare, and since has had 2 ear infections and a virus in 1 month. My husband does not help with the baby as he is away for business and I have no family in town. We could probably swing the bills without my income, but I am afraid I will never be able to work as a nurse.
I am home today as she still has a fever and cannot go to daycare. I am soooo tired as she is up all night and then I have to work all day. She was sleeping through the night until she started getting sick. Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated. Do you think I would regret staying home?

I've been home with mine since they were born- they're 4 and 5- and now I'm going back to work. I know what you mean about the lack of sleep and illnesses... If it were me, if I were able, I'd just take some time out of the workforce until the kiddo is a bit older and sleeping better etc. and then go back. That's not always possible, but since you're asking- I assume you have the option :) Another option might be to do per diem work in a low key facility- once or twice a week- to keep your certification and skills current- but not overwhelm you with the demands of new motherhood... Some women can "do it all" and not be drained by it- but I think they are a rare breed. Maybe even another species alltogether :) I don't think you would regret staying home. I think you *would* regret being too drained to enjoy your child... and if you're too drained for that- chances are you won't enjoy your job either. You have to do what works best for you and your family- and only you can answer what that is exactly. Good luck- I know it's not easy! :)

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Feb 4, 2009

I always recommend that one parent stay home with baby, preferably mom, if economically feasible, especially as opposed to fulltime employment. Just my :twocents:

ohcomeon · Feb 4, 2009

Why not try a in-home daycare? Just a thought. I watch my friend's daughter 5 days a week. She had her in daycare for the first year of her life and she was sick nonstop. I started watching her a year ago and she really has not been sick since. (A couple of runny noses, that's about it). I know some people are funny about using an daycare provider that does daycare out of their home, but maybe you could ask around at work and get some recommendations.

MB37 · Feb 4, 2009

Your husband's got a tough job! I think mine travels too much, and it's about a 4 day trip q 2 months! And there's probably no easy way to get him home more, still making the same income. That kills my previous suggestions. You might not have a choice - if I call in sick >12 times in my first year of employment, I will be terminated - and after that I'd have to use FMLA for any additional sick leave. Look at your employee handbook and check out what they say - it's better to quit your job to be a stay-at-home mom for a while than to have to explain a firing later when you go back to work, especially if you can swing it financially. The good thing is, once your daughter gets all the bugs once, she'll develop some immunity. The bad thing is that if you stay home with her for a year, she'll just wait and catch them whenever she does start school or daycare. Talking to your manager might be a good idea too - it's possible you could go to a part time or PRN position if she likes you, and she'll appreciate knowing what's going on with you and why you've been missing so much work. I'm sorry you're in such a tough position!

1stloveistobeanurse · Feb 4, 2009

I just want to maybe give another prespective to all of this. I have a 10 year old, and I have been married for about 11 years since this time of being married I was in the opposite situation as yours, my daughter would continue to get ear infections, colds, ect... but I had to work, for the past 10 years I wanted to concentrate on just going to school and could not. I honestly became anger, because I felt like my goals did not matter, and I believe that I need something for me. So now she is older, and I am not working but I am going to school to get my nursing degree. I say all of this to say this, as women we tend to do so much and in doing so much we give too much of ourselves and can become lost. If you feel like you want to spend time home with your daughter and focus on that then hey do so there is nothing wrong with that. If not then I had to come to the realization that infants often develop ear infections and colds from being in daycare but at the same time they are building up their system to fight these infections as they become older (this is what I was told by my ped. doctor for our daughter) I will also say that because my daughter was in daycare at such a young age, her social skills has always been impressive. she is such a fast learner right now and as a parent I always tell her and others I still cannot believe that God has given me such a wonderful gift. I even tell her daily please don't change (LOL).

Maybe you can look for something part time nursing is wonderful in that it allows for flex schedules were you can be both, mom, wife and nurse. just dont stress yourself out, being a mom is a fulltime time job with mandatory overtime that we can never take time off from. I can't wait to get my RN so that I can work part time and do some vacationing with just my daughter and me.

sbyramRN · Feb 4, 2009

I would look into hiring someone to come to my home to watch the baby. Of course, I have been a stay at home mom for ten years, and cannot wait to go work!