I'm surprised there has been no mention of the Stanford rape trial and sentence on all nurses. I'm opening up the discussion as I feel it pertains to us in many ways. One as people who may have been victims or know others who have been victims of sexual violence and two as nurses that have taken care of others in this situation, whether directly in ER or a patient suffering from PTSD with other health problems as well.
I applaud the survivor's bravery and her impact statement that has gone public. I hope this will comfort other survivors, but even more I hope this will discourage rape in general. Campus rapes are common and rapes at frats are in the news frequently. Once again a college athlete got off with just a slap on the wrist, although I don't think he counted on all the negative publicity this case has garnered.
What disturbs me the most is the letters of the parents to the judge. The father's don't punish him for 20 minutes of action. Then the mother's letter, who by the way is a nurse for gynecological surgeries and in the past as a pediatric nurse, who had not one iota of empathy for the victim. Her letter simply astonished me. I can't believe as a woman, as a nurse, as a mother of a daughter she had no empathy for the victim! This troubles me the most! I imagine in her years as a nurse she must have taken care of a rape victim and her total lack of empathy for the victim disturbs me greatly!
I am very sorry for your horrible experience. Why were no pictures taken by police? Sounds plain ridiculous. Or they were inexperienced or they expected the hospital team to do that.
Or perhaps they thought that, as you have suggested on this thread numerous times, her appearance or actions may have led some man to lose control of his actions and, therefore, what happened to her wasn't really rape and might not really be a crime ...
LOL, I am not REMOTELY angry. Why would I let some anonymous human being on the internet make me angry? I don't give away my power that easily.
I also never said you implied housekeeping HAS to be done by a woman. However, YOU attributed it to biology, and I simply said it has nothing to do with biology, and everything to do with socialization.
These days, women and girls, in general, do everything, enter any line of work, undertake any endeavor they like, assuming they have the opportunity.
In the not too distant past, and still among certain groups of people, boys and girls were and are socialized a certain way because of their biology.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
These days, women and girls, in general, do everything, enter any line of work, undertake any endeavor they like, assuming they have the opportunity.
In the not too distant past, and still among certain groups of people, boys and girls were and are socialized a certain way because of their biology.
It has nothing whatsoever to do with biology and everything to do with social constructs. There is absolutely zero biological influence on how people are socialized- the very word socialized means society, not biology.
Or perhaps they thought that, as you have suggested on this thread numerous times, her appearance or actions may have led some man to lose control of his actions and, therefore, what happened to her wasn't really rape and might not really be a crime ...
It's possible they had little concern for her plight. Not all cops are decent. Maybe they were embarrassed, poorly trained, lazy, had their minds on the child abuse or murder they were just involved with (that caused the 2 hour delay in getting to her), or maybe their gambling had to be cut short to go attend to her and they blamed her for poorly timing her assault. I do not know what their thinking was and neither does anyone else here. But you seem ready to condemn them. I have to settle for "I don't know" what went through their minds.
Maybe they were the decent sort and were so angered by what happened to this innocent victim that they didn't trust their composure to hold up so they did a halfway job and got out as fast as possible.
It has nothing whatsoever to do with biology and everything to do with social constructs. There is absolutely zero biological influence on how people are socialized- the very word socialized means society, not biology.
I disagree. Girls get pink, boys get blue. Generally speaking.
Of course, you have yet to define "social construct".
You do realize that there are many subsets of a society, don't you?
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I disagree. Girls get pink, boys get blue. Generally speaking.
Of course, you have yet to define "social construct".
You do realize that there are many subsets of a society, don't you?
And these subsets view and do things differently.
So what's the biological tie to pink for girls and blue for boys? A social construct is an idea or notion that appears to be natural and obvious to people who accept it but may or may not represent reality, so it remains largely an invention or artifice of a given society. When talking about how people are socialized, it has nothing to do with the biology but the interpretation of the biology.
Entirely different. But it is self-destructive, not healing, to forgive someone who is still actively damaging you. If a rapist accepted responsibility for his own action, he wouldn't choose to drag the victim through a year-long trial that slices her open and dissects her in front of the jury.
A person who is truly sorry for something they did that harmed another person will try to make amends, not continue to torture the victim. A person who is truly sorry does not call rape "promiscuity." A person who is sorry they are being punished (oh no, the steak! the swimming! hasn't he suffered enough!) is not truly repentant, but he has so much support in his inner circle he has little reason to examine his actions in the first place.
There is absolutely no reasonable room for doubt regarding the Stanford rapist's refusal to accept responsibility for his crimes.
Forgiving frees the one doing the forgiving. So it is important to forgive right away. Don't let forgiving be dependent on the criminal's behavior or words. The criminal might never come around.
Corrie ten Boom in "The Hiding Place" gives us an example of how she forgave one of her Nazi captors who asked forgiveness after WW 2. It was not easy for her to do but she decided to do it, even though she and her family had been decimated by the Nazis - some killed, some suffering long-term health and financial effects.
Forgiveness helps the forgiver. It can help the forgiven, too.
As for Turner, his attorney might very well have told him to say what he has said and not publicly take responsibility for his behavior. His heart might actually be in the right place by now.
And it's possible that any person, even here on AN, accused of a serious crime would want to hang onto the full array of legal protections available under our Constitution. That doesn't make the accused guilty or cruel. It's the way our justice system runs. We do not have to self-incriminate. We don't get tortured (maybe mentally we do) if we don't confess. You can't blame Turner for wanting his rights upheld.
He will likely, in reality, face trouble for years to come. He will have to find some way to make a living without being employed by anyone else, future neighbors will hate and fear him. He doesn't get off totally free. And his appeal might bring him a harsher sentence.
But, for your own sake, forgive those who offend and hurt you. It's against reason, but it frees the forgiver.
There will always be people that don't follow social norms. In sociology, there are different ways to categorize the behavior: Rebellion, Retreatism and Ritualism.
Forgiving frees the one doing the forgiving. So it is important to forgive right away. Don't let forgiving be dependent on the criminal's behavior or words. The criminal might never come around.
Corrie ten Boom in "The Hiding Place" gives us an example of how she forgave one of her Nazi captors who asked forgiveness after WW 2. It was not easy for her to do but she decided to do it, even though she and her family had been decimated by the Nazis - some killed, some suffering long-term health and financial effects.
Forgiveness helps the forgiver. It can help the forgiven, too.
As for Turner, his attorney might very well have told him to say what he has said and not publicly take responsibility for his behavior. His heart might actually be in the right place by now.
And it's possible that any person, even here on AN, accused of a serious crime would want to hang onto the full array of legal protections available under our Constitution. That doesn't make the accused guilty or cruel. It's the way our justice system runs. We do not have to self-incriminate. We don't get tortured (maybe mentally we do) if we don't confess. You can't blame Turner for wanting his rights upheld.
He will likely, in reality, face trouble for years to come. He will have to find some way to make a living without being employed by anyone else, future neighbors will hate and fear him. He doesn't get off totally free. And his appeal might bring him a harsher sentence.
But, for your own sake, forgive those who offend and hurt you. It's against reason, but it frees the forgiver.
I think, much like religion, forgiveness is entirely personal. I forgave my rapist - years after he hurt me. I did for myself, in order to finally be free of him. My forgiveness had little to do with him and much to do with my healing process. I would never suggest the same for anyone else, but again - it's private.
A few years ago, my rapist found me on Facebook. He sent me a message, asking for my forgiveness. I had already forgiven him. Did I tell him that? No - I owed him nothing. I deleted his message, and blocked him.
I'm at peace. I don't care if he isn't. He's taken enough from me.
elkpark
14,633 Posts
Or perhaps they thought that, as you have suggested on this thread numerous times, her appearance or actions may have led some man to lose control of his actions and, therefore, what happened to her wasn't really rape and might not really be a crime ...