Spin off of dating patients. RN's dating docs?

Nurses General Nursing

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We've had a few threads recently about whether or not it's acceptable to date patients. (former patients, hopefully ;) )

My question is regarding an RN and a doctor. I met a doctor for the first time on Friday and I can't stop thinking about him. It's embarrassing, really. He and I had several conversations regarding a patient for whom he had been consulted. He is a heme/oncology resident, and my pt had been diagnosed with lymphoma. He's new to our facility, and he's a wonderful, caring doctor with an obvious passion for his work and the patients he cares for.

Our conversations began with the patient, and ended on a more personal level. We talked about our ages, (he's 7 years my junior), kids, both of us being single, etc etc. I'm not kidding you when I tell you that at one point during one conversation, I felt the incredible urge to lean over and kiss him, full on! I've never felt this way about anyone.

Would it be wrong for me to DO something like ask him out for a drink? I don't know how to handle this, I just know that I won't be seeing him much as we don't often have reason to consult his team on my PCU. I really don't want to be rejected, but I get the feeling that I wouldn't be. I wonder if he's thinking the same thing... I just don't know, and I'd hate to think that I allowed this "opportunity" for what could be a fantastic relationship to go nowhere if I do nothing.

AM I CRAZY??

Specializes in ICU/PCU/Infusion.

this has gone from a feel good thread to a not so feel good thread. :(

I seriously don't think I'm being played. I don't see how that could be, since he doesn't have my number, hasn't been back on my unit since the pt was transferred (the day after we met), and I haven't been back on my unit in order for him to come by or call me since our original discussion of him being off call this week.

I stand by what I said. I've paged him twice. Once to originally ask him out, and then last night to tell him that I haven't been available on the unit for him to come to me or call me. If he doesn't follow up like he said he would on Friday, then it will end there. No worries. :)

I do appreciate all the responses. Even the negative ones! :)

Am I being negative or just trying to offer some objective advise? The best thing about message boards, such as this one, is that you can always count on getting multiple perceptions on any given subject. Sometimes, when we get so emotional about something, it's hard to rationalize and the people who respond here are able to do that for us. With that said, I truely hope that things work out the way you want it. I'm just trying to prevent you from getting played. Sorry if that's negative.

Not so much a "not so feel good thread" as a reality check. While I have no problem with what two consenting adults (or more...) do with their personal life; however, you must consider the downfalls of a potential relationship. Unrealistic expectations seem to be a major problem with relationships in the United States. Once the rose colored glasses come off after a while and the reality of life sets in, many people are ill equipped to deal with the realities of life and relationships. This, and people do not seem to understand that infidelity is like a high powered rifle round to the CNS, an absolute show stopper. If we can improve on these two concepts, perhaps relationships will improve in the United States.

So, take the good comments and bad commets in context to your situation and make an informed decision regarding your current situation.

this has gone from a feel good thread to a not so feel good thread. :(

I seriously don't think I'm being played. I don't see how that could be, since he doesn't have my number, hasn't been back on my unit since the pt was transferred (the day after we met), and I haven't been back on my unit in order for him to come by or call me since our original discussion of him being off call this week.

I stand by what I said. I've paged him twice. Once to originally ask him out, and then last night to tell him that I haven't been available on the unit for him to come to me or call me. If he doesn't follow up like he said he would on Friday, then it will end there. No worries. :)

I do appreciate all the responses. Even the negative ones! :)

Hey leslasic, Don't fret too much. He does have your number. Remember he answered your page from home. I have been in this profession for over 25 yrs and trust me , there are a lot of flirty Docs out there. Mind you most of them are married LOL. But if this guy is a Fellow, maybe he has been very busy and dating has not been on his agenda (as yet). Best of luck. You have everyone in my area watching for your posts!!

I love this thread. So cute!!

I think it's too soon to judge whether or not he's playing you. Keep us posted! :smilecoffeecup: coffee talk!!

Specializes in MSICU starting PICU.

I have just browsed this thread and i must say all this advice is making me chuckle. Three years ago I met an intern while I was a nursing student and I went through a very similar situation. Best of luck with your own situation, just keep in mind that being professional is always key and be ready to hear all sorts of stereotypes regarding docs and their behavior when it comes to relationships and I must say nothing against nurses but they usually are not the best people to ask for advice about regarding starting a relationship with docs sometimes there can be multiple issues totally unrelated to the individual you are pursuing that may come into play when giving advice. I have went through this time and time again. Yes they are busy, some have ego issues ect ect but there are some amazing docs that are just great guys/gals that deserve a chance in the dating pool just as much as any other person. If this does work out for you be prepared to have an interesting ride as their schedules seem to make having a relationship a bit more difficult but all that more interesting :-)

Specializes in ub-Acute/LTC, Home Health, L&D, Peds.

It's Friday...dying to know what happened, did he call you?

Specializes in Long Term Care.

Well, I for one am ready to hang up my ballerina shoes.

He calls. I call. We are both working adults. This just seems a disjointed way to start a new relationship. Trying to coordinate schedules and be respectful of his need for sleep is putting this budding relationship on the skids.

I am ready to move into a more serious style of dating. Something that leads to two rocking chairs on the front porch and sunday dinners with the grandkids. I'm no longer attracted to the bad boy, the drunk or the scrooge. I want a genuine nice guy who is as happy to see me as I am to see him. Maybe I am expecting too much. We seemed to have such a chemistry and now it seems to have fizzled.

I would look outside the healthcare field, but I want someone who shares my love of taking care of people. I seldom have in the past even given the guys where I work a second look. This was a complete fluke, and I have enjoyed it. It's just too bad it isn't going anywhere.

Specializes in OB L&D Mother/Baby.

After reading thru some of the more recent "reality check" posts I'm a little depressed and I'm already married LOL...

I met my husband at the hospital during a rotation of clinicals in nursing school... He is a respiratory therapist and we followed resp each for a night. I was the last student to follow him and my instructor had literally tried to play match maker all semester. I LOVED the way that he treated people. He was very genuine and caring... He was (and is) older than me and thought I'd never date him so he didn't call me, I was young and had a one year old son and thought he'd never date me. To make a long story short two people in his dept asked him what he thought of me and said that they had heard that I really liked him (thru a LONG chain of people).

He tried to call me for a week and I was never home, always busy with school, work etc. (I did not have caller id but he was afraid that I did and I'd think that he was stalking me LOL) He finally got ahold of me one day when I was on my way out the door and I couldn't talk, his perception was that I didn't really like him and he didn't want to call me back but I told him to call the next day... he reluctantly did:) The rest as they say is history, we dated for two years, have been married for 5 and have a 4 yr old daughter together. We love and respect eachother. I still see my nursing instructor from time to time (she actually came to our wedding too!!) She credits herself with our relationship and our little princess.

Anyway my point is that there is hope at your place of employment, it may not be a doc but he may be walking around there somewhere.

Specializes in Long Term Care.

LOL

At this point, I'd be grateful for a housekeeper, as long as he is a good man with a good heart!

I was dating a much older guy who said he didn't want marriage or kids, and after five years, I finally started listening, and quit trying to change him. Now he is chasing after me trying to get me to marry him. I am sticking to my guns though. I want it all.

To quote Shania Twain: The guests, the dress, the cake, the car. The whole darn thing. Everything from start to finish.

Specializes in ICU/PCU/Infusion.
It's Friday...dying to know what happened, did he call you?

You're gonna have to wait because the Friday in question is NEXT friday! ARRGH!! It's making me crazy too! That's the first day both of us will be in the hospital together. I'll be sure to update then!!

Thanks for thinking of me! :)

Well, Les, we'll be here and waiting! I'm a bored preggo and need something "suspenseful"! ;) I do hope that this turns out to be a longer term summer romance.

I can't wait to see what happens and I'll be watching this post. Hang in there, hang tough, strong, but reachable and all woman. :)

We're with you and I can't wait to see what happens.

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