Some people should just stay quiet!!!

[StephRN08]

I was taking care of this elderly woman today with fallopian tube cancer for a port placement and chemotherapy and accompanied by her daughter. I should have ran as soon as the daughter started calling me "Nurse Stephie". Anyways, the patient was very sweet but her daughter was absolutely nuts. From the time I introduced myself until the time they walked out of the department, she was up my rear end! While I was starting the patient's IV, the daughter was on the other side of the bed holding her mother's hand. She looked at my badge clip (a breast cancer ribbon) and told me that I needed to get a new one. I explained that I have a soft spot for breast cancer because my mother is a survivor and two of my aunts had lost their battles from it. Well, this lovely woman was quick to tell me, "Well, there are other types of cancer. Don't you think it insensitive to support only breast cancer?" I was at a loss for words and there was a period of silence before she said, "We have breast cancer in our family too, but I don't ever wear those pink ribbons."

I left the discussion at that because I was ready to let this lady have an earful. Little does she know that I am a volunteer for the American Cancer Society and Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and participate in several cancer walks throughout the year. I just happen to have chose a breast cancer badge holder for the reason mentioned above. Thank goodness I didn't wear one of my pink ribbon jackets today!

However, I have never in my life received a complaint about a badge holder, and I taked care of mostely blood cancer patients. I am very appalled that someone had the audacity to comment on this in the first place and to then go on an on about it. Some people should just stay quiet and keep their opinions to themselves. I don't care if it's a patient or family member!

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

There is no place for so-called 'misplaced anger' and abuse towards nurses, or any other human beings for no cause. I work in oncology every now and then and people are upset of course, but I've never seen anyone abuse staff like the poster said.

If nurses continue to tolerate ANYBODY abusing them in anway, it will continue. It is also up to management to support their staff and reinforce the no abuse under any circumstances policy.

All our Aust hospitals (to my knowledge) have signs now saying we have a zero tolerance policy for any abuse whatsoever, and that you will be removed from the facility and the police called. Isn't there something like that in overseas hospitals? Or is it that it is just not being enforced?

This patient's daughter sounds like she had some sort of unresolved or undiagnosed mental health issue as well. That is why if you think that, it is better not to get into an argument but report them right away. U could also suggest that they need to see a professional person re their obviosuly inappropriate comments and leave it at that.

U have to remember u get all sorts of weird & whacky people attracted to hospitals. I've met many patient's relatives that came in obviously high on drugs, smelling of alcohol, with serious mental issues, raising their voices or yelling (or abusing others on phones), and we have got security and sometimes the police. They can also be a danger to u and other patients, so that's why it's better to report them.

This was very upsetting for the poster. I hope she doesn't have to tolerate this again. I would complain to all the management and the CEO/head of the facility as well.

[Hoozdo, ADN]

All our Aust hospitals (to my knowledge) have signs now saying we have a zero tolerance policy for any abuse whatsoever, and that you will be removed from the facility and the police called. Isn't there something like that in overseas hospitals?

No, we don't have signs like that in American hospitals. It sounds like an excellent

idea though.

Instead, we are encouraged to used scripted slogans, such as:

"Is there anything else I can do for you, I have the time."

"Thank you for choosing xxxx hospital, we know you have a choice."

The scripts are so ridiculous I can't think of anymore. Needless to say, we don't use

the scripted slogans except to joke amongst ourselves.

[NocturneNrse]

Wear whatever you want to wear.. personally, I think that daughter of your patient was being a "jerk". I wear animal rights things... maybe I shouldn't because I am a profession HUMAN nurse.. and not wearing something for HUMANS is unkind and traitorous to my species. You meet all kinds in this profession... kinds that you didn't even know existed.

[Scrubby]

Hmmm I think you need to set some professional boundaries here starting with informing this person that you do not wish to be referred to as Nurse Stephie.

As for the cancer bit I probably would have asked this person why they made the assumption that I don't support other cancers. If they replied with 'because of the badge' I would have said 'wow you can tell that much about me from wearing a badge?'. I'd probably go on then to ask them what they do to support cancer since they feel so strongly about it.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

God, I wish you'd had the option to go in the back room, and come out absolutely CLANKING with 50 dozen ribbons in different colors. Of course, then she'd complain about all the noise....and another nurse would probably have reported you as a safety hazzard....

Like they said in the movie, "You can't win, you can't get even, and you can't get outta the game..."

[Gluteus Maximus]

All our Aust hospitals (to my knowledge) have signs now saying we have a zero tolerance policy for any abuse whatsoever, and that you will be removed from the facility and the police called. Isn't there something like that in overseas hospitals? Or is it that it is just not being enforced?

It seems we Canadians have more in common with our Australian colleagues than American. We have these signs everywhere, including in doctor's offices. And it is NEVER tolerated.

We call... Security!! They immediately have our backs.

[Gluteus Maximus]

I agree. But you have other nurses on here practically ridiculing her for typing this post, further enforcing the abuse that goes on in this field.

If the worst thing that happens to me is a patient's family making a trivial comment about something I'm wearing, then I'd consider that a pretty good shift.

[casper1]

This women was rude and obnoxous. None of her business what type of badge holder you wear, You are taking care of her mom. her comments should be directed to her mom's care and well being not your attire. Making a comment like that, being confrontational infront of her mom, probably put her mom ill at ease and uncomfortable.

just ignor her comment, that rude comment did not deserve a reply.

[Caffeine_IV]

It sounds rude to me. Of course we don't know her tone or demeanor when she was speaking to you but the comment was unnecessary. Sometimes it's those nitpicky things that will TRULY get to you.

I don't work on a strictly oncology floor but we do some chemo and have many cancer patients/survivors/new diagnosis and I don't expect my interactions with patients and family to be strictly "business." If I was that way in my hospital, I would be deemed rude. I'm not a sharer by nature but I know it helps patients to be able to relate to you and TRUST you if you give them just a tiny nugget about you.

[Old.Timer]

as the professional in any nurse/patient (family) communication, it is my role to deescalate, not escalate, a negative situation. i'm not so sure that some of the suggested response would accomplish that.

[brownbook]

Thank you old timer and gluteus maximus, both great responses.

[rn/writer, RN]

I can understand that the OP was a little rattled by what the patient's daughter said. One doesn't expect to be nit-picked over something that is generally seen as a positive and supportive gesture.

But some of the reactions here are just over the top.

There is a big difference between bad manners and true abuse. To react to each of them with the same intensity is both unwise and a waste of energy. And it undermines the battle against genuinely harmful behavior.

This woman behaved in an unfortunate manner, but calling her names and passing judgments on her as a person strike me as an overreaction.

A possible response to the bad manners (offensive behavior) of others is to refuse to receive it. I don't mean recoiling in horror and saying (or even thinking), "I don't have to take that from you!" I mean letting it blow through you like the wind blows through the trees and realizing that you have to actually agree to be offended for their arrow to hit your target.

Real abuse--intimidation, threats, racial or ethnic slurs, crude language, suggestive or vulgar comments--these need to be addressed immediately. No doubt about it. Call security if need be. But engaging in a pointless argument because someone criticizes you is not on that plane.

This isn't always a good idea, but occasionally, if someone makes an off-the-wall comment like, "I don't think you should be wearing that pin," you can say, "Really? That sounds interesting. I'd like to hear your thoughts." This can so disarm someone who was just being cranky that an actual conversation follows.

Disclaimer: No offense intended toward the OP or anyone else. :)