I was taking care of this elderly woman today with fallopian tube cancer for a port placement and chemotherapy and accompanied by her daughter. I should have ran as soon as the daughter started calling me "Nurse Stephie". Anyways, the patient was very sweet but her daughter was absolutely nuts. From the time I introduced myself until the time they walked out of the department, she was up my rear end! While I was starting the patient's IV, the daughter was on the other side of the bed holding her mother's hand. She looked at my badge clip (a breast cancer ribbon) and told me that I needed to get a new one. I explained that I have a soft spot for breast cancer because my mother is a survivor and two of my aunts had lost their battles from it. Well, this lovely woman was quick to tell me, "Well, there are other types of cancer. Don't you think it insensitive to support only breast cancer?" I was at a loss for words and there was a period of silence before she said, "We have breast cancer in our family too, but I don't ever wear those pink ribbons."
I left the discussion at that because I was ready to let this lady have an earful. Little does she know that I am a volunteer for the American Cancer Society and Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and participate in several cancer walks throughout the year. I just happen to have chose a breast cancer badge holder for the reason mentioned above. Thank goodness I didn't wear one of my pink ribbon jackets today!
However, I have never in my life received a complaint about a badge holder, and I taked care of mostely blood cancer patients. I am very appalled that someone had the audacity to comment on this in the first place and to then go on an on about it. Some people should just stay quiet and keep their opinions to themselves. I don't care if it's a patient or family member!
Specializes in ICU, Telemetry, Neuro, Ortho, Med/Surg.
People are so hyper-sensitive, uptight, argumentative...oh, so many more for her possible intentions. Who knows. No matter what her reason or excuse, it does sound rude of her. She should have been more concerned and appreciative of the care you were giving to her family member than your name badge holder. I have heard comments about mine just a few times...it represents my school, but people did it in a joking manner (the usual rival school fans). I would have just said that I support research and treatment for all types of cancer....something like that. Do not stress over it. People tend to criticize too much these days, even over the smallest and/or irrelevant things. I think some get a thrill out of it or enjoy it, some do not realize they come across that way, or many other reasons. Too many possibilities to even contemplate.... And, I notice it more with visitors and family than the patient.
This reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer is participating in the AIDS walk, but he did not want to wear the ribbon. They kept on and on about wearing the ribbon, he refused, and by the end of the walk, he was ganged and beaten up by the red ribbon wearers.
It would be nice if we did not have to deal with that aspect of the job. I have learned that it is best to refrain from commenting on anything people like that say. I can totally understand that idle chit chat can interfere with pt. care. Sometimes we need to remind the family that the conversations, need to be focused on helping the pt.
Wow...what a thing for her to complain about. I don't really know if it was a true complaint or just a comment that came across wrong. I think sometimes people don't realize that silence is alright...they have to talk just for the sake of talking.
I was taking care of this elderly woman today with fallopian tube cancer for a port placement and chemotherapy and accompanied by her daughter. I should have ran as soon as the daughter started calling me "Nurse Stephie". Anyways, the patient was very sweet but her daughter was absolutely nuts. From the time I introduced myself until the time they walked out of the department, she was up my rear end! While I was starting the patient's IV, the daughter was on the other side of the bed holding her mother's hand. She looked at my badge clip (a breast cancer ribbon) and told me that I needed to get a new one. I explained that I have a soft spot for breast cancer because my mother is a survivor and two of my aunts had lost their battles from it. Well, this lovely woman was quick to tell me, "Well, there are other types of cancer. Don't you think it insensitive to support only breast cancer?" I was at a loss for words and there was a period of silence before she said, "We have breast cancer in our family too, but I don't ever wear those pink ribbons."
I left the discussion at that because I was ready to let this lady have an earful. Little does she know that I am a volunteer for the American Cancer Society and Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and participate in several cancer walks throughout the year. I just happen to have chose a breast cancer badge holder for the reason mentioned above. Thank goodness I didn't wear one of my pink ribbon jackets today!
However, I have never in my life received a complaint about a badge holder, and I taked care of mostely blood cancer patients. I am very appalled that someone had the audacity to comment on this in the first place and to then go on an on about it. Some people should just stay quiet and keep their opinions to themselves. I don't care if it's a patient or family member!
Rude lady I agree! I wear a breast cancer ribbon badge holder, because it is my right to, according to hospital code. It would have upset me, but I suppose I would have bit my tongue. I suppose an option would be to say, "At this hospital we are permitted to wear a badge holder in a style of our choosing, but if my badge clip offends you, I can reverse the clip so that you don't see the front of the clip (this is possible with most retractable badge clips)." Say it in a kind, calm tone. This way she is politely forced to contend with the bizarre, weird situation she created. Like they say - kill 'em with kindness and toss the freaky socially awkward mess they create right back at 'em. Let this lady think of a response to this. If she rudely persists, and says "why yes, it does offend me" then turn the badge holder around. More than likely she would back off. However, personally when pt.'s or family get weird with me, I don't get snappy like this, I just let a moment of silence hang in the air and then say something practical, in a professional tone, like "Alright, well I'll be back with your water in a moment" and then go and perform my duties. Don't let them get a rise out of you - some people are looking to fluster staff for some weird reason. I am more than happy to be kind, warm and fuzzy with all the nice, decent, and suffering pt.'s in the world. But with mean, rude, or downright weird people, I maintain an air of nothing but impersonal professionalism. That is not to say I am rude at all, but I will not engage at their level. There is no point - they have already shown themselves to be irrational, negative people, and its not my job to change that. My approach has worked okay so far... though in all honesty, I am only a hospital CNA, currently in nursing school.
If I saw this woman's daughter again, I would quietly take her into an unused room (if poss) and tell her exactly what u put on here. If a patient's relative ever spoke to me like that, I would tell them at the bedside with their relative there, in a professional manner, how much they have offended me and that I was not there to debate ribbons or anything else. I would add that I would not be getting into an argument re anything and would continue to take care of their relative in silence. I would also report this to ur NM, not that they will do anything about it.
This is just so wrong that u feel u have to take this! Start standing up for urself in future.
If I saw this woman's daughter again, I would quietly take her into an unused room (if poss) and tell her exactly what u put on here. If a patient's relative ever spoke to me like that, I would tell them at the bedside with their relative there, in a professional manner, how much they have offended me and that I was not there to debate ribbons or anything else. I would add that I would not be getting into an argument re anything and would continue to take care of their relative in silence. I would also report this to ur NM, not that they will do anything about it.
This is just so wrong that u feel u have to take this! Start standing up for urself in future.
I agree. But you have other nurses on here practically ridiculing her for typing this post, further enforcing the abuse that goes on in this field.
If that's the only thing she had to complain about, then count your lucky stars.
Maybe she was diverting from the fact that her mother was being stuck with a sharp object. Some family members will have misplaced anger when it comes to dealing with an ailing loved one.
I too would not have taken the focus off her and turned it onto you and your family - even if she did ask about it. There's a time and place for everything, and the less personal information you give, the better.
I have a lot of respect for you and the genre of nursing you are in. I hope you have better family interactions in the future.
This way she is politely forced to contend with the bizarre, weird situation she created. Like they say - kill 'em with kindness and toss the freaky socially awkward mess they create right back at 'em. Let this lady think of a response to this. If she rudely persists, and says "why yes, it does offend me" then turn the badge holder around. More than likely she would back off. However, personally when pt.'s or family get weird with me, I don't get snappy like this, I just let a moment of silence hang in the air and then say something practical, in a professional tone, like "Alright, well I'll be back with your water in a moment" and then go and perform my duties. Don't let them get a rise out of you - some people are looking to fluster staff for some weird reason. I am more than happy to be kind, warm and fuzzy with all the nice, decent, and suffering pt.'s in the world. But with mean, rude, or downright weird people, I maintain an air of nothing but impersonal professionalism. That is not to say I am rude at all, but I will not engage at their level. There is no point - they have already shown themselves to be irrational, negative people, and its not my job to change that. My approach has worked okay so far... though in all honesty, I am only a hospital CNA, currently in nursing school.
It doesn't bother me, but I have no idea where such foul attitudes come from.
Gluteus Maximus
59 Posts
If you're going to purposefully cross professional boundaries, don't gripe when the patient uses your "personal story" against you.