Published Feb 4, 2005
FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I
3,619 Posts
1.If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2.Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3.Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4.For high blood pressure sufferers: Just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6.If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, and then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
*Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
1.You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
2.And, be really nice to your family and friends, you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Have a wonderful day today, and a better day tomorrow.
twinbee25
82 Posts
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: hilarious!!! thanks for a great laugh!!!
webblarsk
928 Posts
Very Cute! :chuckle :chuckle
sharann, BSN, RN
1,758 Posts
Funny!!!
VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN
22 Articles; 9,996 Posts
Number 7 reminds me of the time back in college when my dh was about to give a speech in front of some 250 people. It was the first time in all his life that he'd done so, and to say he was nervous was the understatement of the decade. One of his classmates noted this, and when Bill was looking the other way, he stomped on Bill's foot, which of course made him madder than a wet cat.
"Now you're not nervous anymore," said the classmate. "NOW you're pissed off!" :chuckle
begalli
1,277 Posts
OMG, while reading #1 I thought to myself, oh no! The people coming to this board for "advice" or "diagnosis" of their symptoms might take this seriously and burn themselves!!
Then I read on.....
:rotfl:
Thanks for the laugh.
CHATSDALE
4,177 Posts
you have made my day lol lol
SusanJean
463 Posts
Oh, the memories of number 7... my mom's favorite for every little complaint...
SophieMae
41 Posts
What a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!
JVanRN
406 Posts
lol...I know I was thinking I was gonna find some home remedies to. I read number one and thought...okay that makes sense but it would really hurt....then I kept reading and was starting to get horrified...then well I finally caught on....I'm sorta slow today...That was cute thanks.
Medic2RN, BSN, RN, EMT-P
1,576 Posts
Thanks Franemtnurse!!
#5 was a lifesaver for me this morning....you are a wise person!! lol
:yelclap:
pediatriclpn
88 Posts
thanks for the laughs, read them to the hubby and we got to laugh together. Think I will print it out and take it to the hospital with me when I am a patient. :chuckle