So I guess it is true...

[ThePrincessBride]

Nurses really do eat their young.

Long story short. My last quarter's clinical instructor told me in feedback via paper, that I was good. Good in clinical. My last clinical, I made a mistake in accuchecks and made too many attempts to get an accucheck. I own up to my mistake and have not had any more problems in accucheck.

So this scholarship opportunities arises. I need a letter of recommendation. So, I e-mail her asking if she would be willing to give me a reference. No response. Tried again about a week later...still no response. So I email her a third time (the deadline is REALLY approaching) and she finally answers. Her answer? She is "uncomfortable" with my clinical skills and feels she won't be able to give me a good reference. And she waits FOUR days before the deadline even though I've emailed her twice before in 2.5 weeks.

This whole time she made me believe that I was doing a good job. Told me verbally and even in our comments papers. Not once did she tell me, outside of the accucheck incident, that I was doing anything wrong (told me I was doing very good).

So I e-mailed her back requesting a meeting for specific feedback, and I even typed out the misleading comments she gave me that made me believe I was doing good. I also told her that it is unacceptable to not give a student feedback and to check her off when he/she is doing something wrong.

I feel like if I don't get a meeting or if she isn't specific that I should file a complaint against her.

Luckily, my present clinical instructor says she will give me a recommendation. She says that my clinical skills are average but feels that if I work hard enough, I will be able to improve my skills.

Am I going about this the right way?

[netglow, ASN, RN]

Again, OP, passing a class does not at all mean you have "the right stuff" to be recommended for a position. It just means you passed a class.

[threelittlebirds]

Of course the clinical instructor can be wrong. But so can you. You solicited advice on a public forum, and you're getting it. I'm sorry that every person who reads your posts does not agree with your perspective.

But I do not think it is appropriate to blame absolutely every possible factor (including the american educational system!) but yourself. Your clinical instructor might be 100% in the wrong here, but your attitude indicates to me that this is not so.

And even if she is the oldest, meanest, nastiest nurse constantly making a stew out of the poor young nursing students? Move on. Sometimes people don't treat us the way we deserve; role model some professionalism and get over it.

[netglow, ASN, RN]

You will never be given "a chance" this isn't like pee wee soccer where everybody who shows up gets a pretty ribbon. Those days are forever over.

Look around, open your eyes. You are entering the adult world. It's got different rules.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

You will never be given "a chance" this isn't like pee wee soccer where everybody who shows up gets a pretty ribbon. Those days are forever over.

Look around, open your eyes. You are entering the adult world. It's got different rules.

No need to be so nasty and condescending.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

Of course the clinical instructor can be wrong. But so can you. You solicited advice on a public forum, and you're getting it. I'm sorry that every person who reads your posts does not agree with your perspective.

But I do not think it is appropriate to blame absolutely every possible factor (including the american educational system!) but yourself. Your clinical instructor might be 100% in the wrong here, but your attitude indicates to me that this is not so.

And even if she is the oldest, meanest, nastiest nurse constantly making a stew out of the poor young nursing students? Move on. Sometimes people don't treat us the way we deserve; role model some professionalism and get over it.

I take some blame, but again, I'm only a nursing student who needs to be told what she is doing wrong and how to fix it. I'm never claimed to have super nursing skills...quite the opposite.

I needed guidance and I didn't get it.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

You might not have been doing things wrong in clinical, just average, and with more practice it could become like natural. You're still a student, you still have the opportunity to become a great nurse, but letting one teacher make you anxious about your ability with one word might be a bit of an overreaction. Take your current teachers advice and work harder, study longer on skills, and try to buddy up with one of your type A peers who can offer honest, constructive criticism about your skills.

I tend to agree with the others that there is a difference between good and letter of recommendation worthy. You may have been good enough to pass clinicals, and that might have been reflected in your grade at the end of clinicals, but you might not have been great which could be her requirement for a letter of recommendation. She might feel uncomfortable with your clinical skills when comparing them to the level she would write a letter of recommendation for.

Also when did she tell the group of students that she would write the letter, towards the beginning of the semester or end? It makes a difference that she didn't tell just YOU that she would write the letter, but a group. She might have been willing to write towards the majority of that group, but not every person.

Your writing style or tone, does seem aggressive as mentioned previously. This might have come across in the subsequent emails to your professor when you didn't get a timely response. I know that sometimes my writing can take on an edgy tone or somewhat of an indignant one when I'm not pleased with something. This tone might have been what caused her to give a harsher response than what she may have originally thought of you as well. Before you go into that meeting, if there is one, you might want to role play with a peer to prepare yourself to keep your emotions in check. Getting angry or flustered during this will not help you get your point across to your teacher, but will make you look foolish and too emotional.

I really hope this works out for you and that you find some sort of resolution or peace in this matter.

Thanks for the post, and thanks for not pushing me down and chewing me out and getting nasty with me.

I really appreciate that.

In regards to the meeting, so I even bother? I know she hates me, and would it be a waste of time? The woman didn't care to help me out before, and I'm pretty sure she definitely doesn't care to give me advice now.

What I think I will do is to go to the lab and practice clinical skills a couple of days before going onto the unit. I never thought to go to the lab before, but I don't want to be mediocre or "uncomfortable." I want to be good.

I will take what you said into my heart. Thank you.

[threelittlebirds]

Perhaps in the future, you will compare your skills to those around you and perform ongoing self evaluation...so as to not be reliant on the preceptors who've failed you.

[ThePrincessBride, MSN, RN, NP]

Perhaps in the future, you will compare your skills to those around you and perform ongoing self evaluation...so as to not be reliant on the preceptors who've failed you.

Thanks. I try not to compare myself to others because there will always be someone better, and it can be self-destructive if you are constantly comparing yourself to other people and never as good, ya' know? But I will keep that in mind.

Anyway, thanks to all of those who gave me some constructive criticism. I won't file a complaint, and I am thinking about avoiding this teacher entirely for the rest of my years at the program and not give a second thought.

[motivatedlilly]

To the op, you didn't do anything wrong and in my opinion you have every right to feel the way you do. I find it odd how most of the nurses here are trying to take your head off but Im sure if it was them they would feel the same way. I guess because she is a"nurse instructor" she should get a pass. I swear it seem like people don't even read anymore. You repeated yourself several times in this post and they still don't get it. Its not about the letter of recommendation its the principal! She should have given proper feedback and been honest about it. It was mature of you to request a meeting with her. I find what she did to be very cowardly and I would question her judgment or lack thereof. She is an instructor and it is HER JOB to give honest and proper feedback especially if she felt that your skills were not up to par. She is there to evaluate and instruct and she failed to PROPERLY do that. Your education is priceless and you want to feel confident and not like you passed with skin on your teeth! Some of the comments here are repulsive....

[lrobinson5]

I was going to say something, but I have already said it and others have said the same numerous times. Her being uncomfortable writing a letter of recommendation does not equal you doing anything wrong, or her failing to do her job for pointing out any wrongdoing. At this point you are basically stirring up trouble because she didn't give you a LOR. It doesn't matter whether or not that is true, that is exactly how everyone will see it.

Edit: Just read that you won't file a complaint , so disregard my last sentences about it.

[Aurora77]

I needed guidance and I didn't get it.

Unfortunately, that, too, is part of life. You're going to have crappy teachers and crappy bosses. Maybe she didn't teach you the way you wanted to be taught, maybe she's a horrible clinical instructor. You just have to make the best of the situation and move on.

[canigraduate]

I don't know why so many posters felt the need to be dismissive and rude to you. I would like to apologize on their behalf. I personally feel that the instructor was being very passive aggressive with you and should have handled the situation differently. If she truly felt that your clinical skills were not recommendation worthy, she should have sat down with you and told you why as soon as you emailed her the first time. Her avoidance of the issue was completely unprofessional.

I would have done exactly as you did and emailed her a second time when she didn't respond, followed up with a phone call. Sometimes emails slip through the cracks. However, after that, I would have realized her unprofessionalism and dropped it.

I am very glad you have decided not to file a complaint. NEVER file a complaint until after you have graduated. You don't want any repercussions.

As to the meeting, I really don't think that is a very good idea. The instructor has already displayed a lack of professionalism and is unlikely to change just for you. If anything, the passive-aggressive treatment will intensify.

I hope everything works out for you and you continue on to do well in your program!!