So I guess it is true...

[ThePrincessBride]

Nurses really do eat their young.

Long story short. My last quarter's clinical instructor told me in feedback via paper, that I was good. Good in clinical. My last clinical, I made a mistake in accuchecks and made too many attempts to get an accucheck. I own up to my mistake and have not had any more problems in accucheck.

So this scholarship opportunities arises. I need a letter of recommendation. So, I e-mail her asking if she would be willing to give me a reference. No response. Tried again about a week later...still no response. So I email her a third time (the deadline is REALLY approaching) and she finally answers. Her answer? She is "uncomfortable" with my clinical skills and feels she won't be able to give me a good reference. And she waits FOUR days before the deadline even though I've emailed her twice before in 2.5 weeks.

This whole time she made me believe that I was doing a good job. Told me verbally and even in our comments papers. Not once did she tell me, outside of the accucheck incident, that I was doing anything wrong (told me I was doing very good).

So I e-mailed her back requesting a meeting for specific feedback, and I even typed out the misleading comments she gave me that made me believe I was doing good. I also told her that it is unacceptable to not give a student feedback and to check her off when he/she is doing something wrong.

I feel like if I don't get a meeting or if she isn't specific that I should file a complaint against her.

Luckily, my present clinical instructor says she will give me a recommendation. She says that my clinical skills are average but feels that if I work hard enough, I will be able to improve my skills.

Am I going about this the right way?

[CCRNDiva, BSN, RN]

I, along with several of my coworkers, have had physicians and instructors personally offer to complete recommendations for graduate school applications only to have them not complete them by the deadline. I didn't take it personally, I just went down the list and enlisted another colleague or professor. A couple of my coworkers were denied entry into programs because their applications were not complete due to the missing recommendation. Were they disappointed? Sure. Was it inconsiderate, even rude on their part? Absolutely. Not one of us, though, took it personally. Why? People get busy.

Maybe she was busy and by the time she got around to checking her email she had received another unintenionally aggressive email from you. Maybe she sat down to write it and thought about your level of defensiveness when criticism was offered in the past. Clinical instructors value their reputations. The bad ones do not get "good" assignments for their students. An employer will often take a clinical instructor's recommendation as a gold seal of approval. Employers want new nurses who are open to constructive criticism. She may have been afraid that you would not be open to criticism as graduate nurse and became reluctant to attach her name to you professionally.

There is a big difference between being a bad clinical student and one worthy of a recommendation. Many people reserve recommendations for the best students, colleagues, employees, etc. Maybe she felt that a recommendation would categorize your clinical skills superior when they were not. Try not to take it personally. Just because she did not feel comfortable providing a recommendation does not mean that she thought you were unsafe. I'm sure if she thought that, she would have failed you. She could have just provided a negative letter in a sealed envelope if she had it out for you. Instead she simply declined to provide the recommendation.

Please let this go. The last thing you want to do is enter the nursing world with a chip on your shoulder, expecting experienced nurses to eat their young. Everybody will pick up on it and you will run the risk of being labeled toxic. Show this instructor that you can handle her feedback like a mature professional. Avoiding her will not serve your best interests. There may be many nurses in the world but it is a small profession, so to speak. Everybody knows somebody that knows somebody. I had a friend who was fired from her 1st nursing job and her director knew people in all of the other hospitals. It was years before she was able to secure another inpatient nursing job. Don't burn your bridges, it is not worth it.

[LynnLRN]

Maybe she wanted to build your confidence and that is why she told you that you were doing a good job. People get better when they are confident. Your a student you do not have to be perfect yet.

[jad623]

I'd like to start off by saying that I am a recent graduate (August 2011), and was lucky enough to land a competitive OR residency position in the NY metro area in January. The reason I mention this is because I was very recently in your position, and also know what lies ahead of you, so my approach is not as a seasoned nurse trying to educate you, but rather a peer sharing her experience. While you have read this from many other members, I would have to agree that you're taking things too personally. I don't think a mistake on an accucheck would be a reason to refuse to write you a letter (if you had given medication without supervision etc. then that would be another story).

From what you've said it doesn't sound like she led you on. When she said that she'd write letters, she said it to a group as you said, not to you as an individual. She said you were doing well, students are often evaluated in regards to a "standard deviation/learning curve," if you will. While I don't know what her exact comments were, from what I gather she said you were doing "well," which means that you may have earned the right to pass, but still require improvement. If she did not say that you were excelling (let's say top 10% of the bell curve) she may not have felt comfortable writing a letter. Look at it this way A=excellent B=above average/good C=mediocre, but a B will get you a 3.0 gpa. And this is not a personal insult but scholarships are often reserved for the top tier of students, this is not to say that you are not worthy of it, but that based on her assessment of your skills, she may not felt that way. Professors do care about patient safety; they put their license on the line simply by teaching us. They simply do not pass below average students, all my professor made that abundantly clear.

The other thing to consider is that once you confronted her with her quotes, she may have declined to write the letter simply based on your approach. Truthfully your response to many other post has been defensive, aggressive and borderline rude. Professors are super busy and despite their best efforts are not always able to respond immediately to emails, especially if it's not a lecture course; I don't think she was intentionally being rude to you. Sometimes emails get mixed in with so many others that they don't see it etc. It was good that you followed up, but I hope you were cognizant of you tone. During my interview I was asked what my "strength" was and I replied that I knew how to be "assertive and confident, without being aggressive and confrontational;" it's a delicate balance that I would venture to say is essential for every nurse to master if they wish to be successful in their career, and something to start practicing in nursing school. Also nursing is the successful and practical application of theory to practice. You have to know the why behind all your actions.

What I'd take away from this is to actively seek feedback and constructive criticism. In nursing there's always room for growth. If a professor, preceptor or nurse manager later on in your career provides you with a positive evaluation, inquire further. It's ok to say thank you for the positive evaluation, and then ask them what else you can to do improve. Even if it's not evaluation time, ask them--they'll appreciate your initiative. While you may not ever come to a resolution that you find suitable in regards to you professors denial, It's likely that if you seek out feedback in the future you can avoid situations like the one you experienced in terms of evaluation.

Lastly I'd keep in mind that professors, preceptors etc. do talk. Many members of the faculty are also staff members, affiliated with or know someone at a hospital. It's very important to be gracious regardless of whether or not you agree with someone's actions because you never know what situation you'll find yourself in. During my application process my former professor (who also happened to be the CNS of the hospital), went out of her way to speak to the nurse recruiter on my behalf (without my asking her to), but told me that she declined to write a letter for another applicant because she was uncomfortable recommending her. This is not to compare myself to you, but just an example to keep in mind for the future.

[CCRNDiva, BSN, RN]

Jad623, I have noticed the same thing on other posts as well. I'm glad it isn't just me. Thanks for sharing your experience. Maybe it will put things in perspective for the OP.

[AngelofLTC]

I feel that you are overreacting also. She is not comfortable giving you a recommendation and she should not have to justify that to anyone. She probably should have addressed her concerns r/t your clinical skills at the time but probably just felt that your performance was average. She didn't want to give you a reference but obviously felt that you were capable enough to pass. It sounds as though you need to work harder and that is the lesson to be learned from the situation. There are no grounds for reporting her.

[Goldenhare]

I am alarmed at the nasty comments directed at the poster. She has not done anything wrong, is verbalizing her hurt and confusion, and asking for feedback. So many of you have jumped all over her (reminding me why I rarely get on this fourm anymore) and she has done NOTHING wrong, while giving her instructor a pass for bad behavior. Her instructor's role includes the position of mentor. It comes with the territory. Therefore:

1) The instructor should not have said that she was doing "very good" in clinicals if indeed she was not. This is called critical feedback. Feedback and a plan for improvement if needed is the instructor's job. Think of it as a careplan for students. I don't know if the poster's grades reflect a "very good" clinical component, but if they don't, then the term "good job" is being misused. 'Satisfactory' maybe is the term she should have used.

2) The instructor should not have told all the students that they could all expect a recommendation if it was NOT true. She should have said "If I am comfortable with your clinical performance, I will be glad to write you a letter."

3) If at the point that the poster sent the email, and the instructor was no longer willing to write a letter for her, the instructor should have contacted her and told her this. The poster deserves a timely response. To do otherwise, is to be rude. The instructor does not get a pass for being rude, just because she is the instructor. If as one response seemed to suggest, the instructor decided not to write the recommendation because of repeated emails from the poster, well that is rude on the part of the instructor as well. The student expects and deserves accurate and timely feedback, both negative and positive, from the instructor. It is unacceptable for an instructor to play 'hide and seek' with the student in this way. The student pays tuition and in return, can expect to receive the tools and information and feedback needed to master the course materials. It is the responsibility of the student to use this information to be successful.

Now maybe the poster should speak in person to the instructor for clarification of the situation, and maybe she should chalk it up to a bad experience. Personally, I would love to work with this nurse some day because she cares about her performance on the job and wants to learn. She should not be criticized for trying to understand why her perception of the situation somehow differs from her instructor's.

[AngelofLTC]

I cant speak for anyone but myself...I'm in no way jumping on the OP....with that said, MY OPINION is that she had her feelings hurt when she didnt get the response she wanted from her instructor. Not every clinical teacher is perfect and her decision (or lack of verbalizing her decision) is her choice. I think the Op has expectations of a perfect clinical intructor that are unrealistic. Take it on the chin and move on.

[CCRNDiva, BSN, RN]

I don't feel that people have jumped all over the OP and I don't recall reading any nasty comments. She asked for opinions and the majority happened to disagree her. I don't think that qualifies as nasty. The clinical instructor never formally agreed to complete a recommendation for the poster. No one is owed a recommendation. She pushed the issue and the instructor gave some feedback that the OP did not agree with.

I feel that most of the advice has been to not take the issue personally, handle it professionally and move on. A few of us have mentioned that the tone of her emails may have been unintentionally agressive and turned the instructor off. I don't find anything nasty about that.

[nursinghopeful1111]

what im getting from your posts is that you are angry you are not perfect...there is no such thing as a perfect nurse..you will never be a perfect nurse NO ONE IS!!!!!

Put your head down, do better and get over it.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

I am really at a loss as to why everyone is jumping on the OP. So, let's recap.

First off, this wasn't a recommendation for a nursing position. This was a recommendation for a scholarship.

The OP was told that she was doing well in clinical by the instructor, and she was told while in a group that the instructor would write recommendations for them.

The OP pursued a recommendation from the instructor well before the deadline, and she didn't get a response until four days prior to the deadline. Someone mentioned that following up on the request for a recommendation was rude. I think it was rude for the instructor to not respond until four days before the deadline.

Then, out of nowhere, the instructor tells the OP that she's uncomfortable with her performance and won't give a recommendation. The OP is upset about the timeline for the recommendation and is now left feeling that she's being misled in clinical about her performance.

The only thing I don't agree with is that the OP is thinking of reporting the instructor. That's unnecessary and an overreaction. For everything else, I get exactly where the OP is coming from.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

what im getting from your posts is that you are angry you are not perfect...there is no such thing as a perfect nurse..you will never be a perfect nurse NO ONE IS!!!!!

Put your head down, do better and get over it.

What I get from the OP is that she knows she's not perfect and is upset that her instructor led her to believe she's doing well, but when it came down to it, the instructor felt she was not doing well. A whole semester of learning/improvement opportunities lost.

[Raviepoo]

Nobody is obligated to write a recommendation for any student. You learned something about the instructor's opinion of your skills. You are a student. You are learning. Use this as a learning experience and move on. Your bitterness is hurting only you.