Silly random nursing thoughts, one sentence, NO JUDGMENTAL FOLKS ALLOWED

Nurses Humor

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Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!

Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.

While doing wound care on an inmate who was bitten by a police dog....

Me: Man them dogs are fast ain't they?

Him: (arrgghh) yeah!!

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.
I'm sorry you are in 4 point leather restraints sir, but I am not going to scratch your balls for you.

You must be confused sir, this is the Boston City Hospital not Roxy's *****house.

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
nope. the "tut tut" post is obligatory.
Haven't you learned by now? No thread is complete without the more-compassionate-than-thou post.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
"Bet you won't run from a police dog again." ;)

Yeah, they will. Trust me.

I'm sorry, I don't like needles either ....

I VERY frequently hear patients say "I hate needles" or "I don't like needles" when they know the very reason they are in front of me is so that I can insert a needle.

At this point, my response to "I don't like needles" is "Really? That's surprising....most people I see ask if I can do it two or three times, they just love needles so much" :geek:

And ever notice how many people with obvious tattoos will say "I really don't like needles"....as if those tattoos were created by a magical overnight cream?

Specializes in CICU.

as far as someone "not liking needles". I say, "Neither do I, and it is truly better to give than receive!"

Specializes in PCU.
Sir, I understand that you need to poop, however we are trying to determine if you've had a stroke so can we just get to CT already?

(this after 30 minutes on and off the bedpan with minimal results)

Oh My Gawd...the thought that popped into my mind reading this,"Would you like us to request a rectal tube so that we can do this CT done?" Not sure where that thought came from...

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
Wouldn't it be more satisfying to pop it like bubble wrap?
Uh, no.

Immediately post-shower: "I'm glad you like me enough to want to hug me all the time, but let's put pants on first, mkay?"

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Immediately post-shower: "I'm glad you like me enough to want to hug me all the time, but let's put pants on first, mkay?"

Yikes. :eek:

Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

You don't like needles? They have to pay me to play with them.

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