Nurses Humor
Published Mar 20, 2012
Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!
Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.
meanmaryjean, DNP, RN
7,899 Posts
I was reading the above post and my husband (who was getting ready to go give a final exam) read over my shoulder. He asked, "How can you just go right on eating that chunky peach yoghurt and read that?" Answer? Because it's **** funny and I've been in a similar mess.
Answer? Because it's **** funny and I've been in a similar mess.
My daughter is a wound / ostomy nurse, and we've been known to empty the dining room with our stories during family dinners. :)
Twinmom06, ASN, APN
1,171 Posts
I'm glad that we're not the only ones (meaning my co-workers) that found this incredibly funny...poop is just funny.
I do maintain that if one is going to do bowel prep inpatient then I think they should get a private room. The sounds coming from this poor man were inhuman
ClearBlueOctoberSky
370 Posts
You DO know what color blood is, and it is more important than assessing ROM, right?
Cuddleswithpuddles
667 Posts
I was eating an Oreo while charting. I typed an SBAR that read "Patient awake, alert and oreo."
annie.rn
546 Posts
Sweet lady couldn't make it to the bathroom in time and had a large liquid stool all down her leg, into her socks and on to the floor. She was mortified and must have apologized 20 times. I wanted to make her feel better and couldn't resist saying "As they say, '**** happens'. And boy did it happen!" Got a good laugh out of her and put her at ease.
RNsRWe, ASN, RN
3 Articles; 10,428 Posts
In my head just yesterday:
"I am SO glad that you didn't feel so self-conscious as to shower before coming to see me; certainly the nurse who has to assess you prior to your volunteer experience at this facility wouldn't be put off by such odors---and the ratty-tatty clothing with food stains (and heaven knows what else), well, just shows you aren't concerned with superficial things like even PRETENDING to look clean.
Thanks for that, really."
CardiacKittyRN
144 Posts
I hear the sound of call lights beeping & bipap alarms in my sleep!!
My daughter was changing out smoke detector batteries one afternoon while I was sleeping off a night shift. She didn't realize they were hard-wired, and when she pulled the 9 volt, it set them all off!
I came flying out of the bedroom in my ratty t-shirt that I sleep in screaming "Where's Adrian?!" (My vent-dependent home care kiddo- I thought it was his vent alarm!)
monkeelouise
31 Posts
5 second applies everytime !
An actual statement made to a resident "Medical degrees are now being given out to each patient admitted to the hospital "
To the patient complaining that their follow up clinic appointment wasn't magically in their hands before they left the exam room- CONGRATULATIONS! We had a lottery and your name was chosen by the staff to see how miserable we could make your life today.
To the elective surgery post-op patient: Yes, Someone cut you with a knife and you volunteered for it!
To the "UNDER-SERVED" patient population: Yes, you had a $50,000 surgery given to you, I helped pay for it, No, We do not supply bus fare or gas money.
Actually said to a patient, "Are you breathing, is there lots of blood?" No, cool.
Mr Midwife, BSN, RN
1 Article; 52 Posts
In 6 years of Gynacology Nursing and Midwifery I've still to see what happens if I pee'd on a pregnancy test..
nursefrances, BSN, RN
1 Article; 601 Posts
To some of the patients I have started IVs on in the past:
Yes, I understand...that needle did hurt a bit. It is.....a needle, you know.
I'm sorry, I don't like needles either but some people think that we try to make it hurt when we "jab" or "stab" them with a "huge" (ahem....22 g.) needle