Silly random nursing thoughts, one sentence, NO JUDGMENTAL FOLKS ALLOWED

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Rule is: One sentence. Random thought. Silly is great. Funny would rock. If you're going to be judgmental, GO TO ANOTHER THREAD! FUN ONLY HERE!

Fomite is my new favorite word because it sounds like a sandwich spread.

Specializes in ICU, Cardiac.

I wrote SOB (diagnosis) on dry eraser board in my patients room, "I am not a Son of a Bit*h!" yelled my patient. Ohhhh my :rotfl:

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Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not after you.

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In the ER 9 times out of 10 when I asked the patient what brought them in their response starts with "Well uh whut had happen is ..."[/quote']

LOL....but don't forget the sentence that was said just BEFORE the accident: "Hey, Bob, betcha think I can't do THIS....!" or "Hey, watch me!"

Um, no Dude, you obviously couldn't. And he shouldn't.

LOL...

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I have used this one for years:

(wishing I could say it out loud to a patient)

That big blue and white "H" out front doesn't stand for Hilton OR Hotel!

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Specializes in Med Surg.
You had a knee replacement, not a hand replacement; so no, I will not wipe your butt for you.:icon_roll
The other day I had a pt on the commode who called and said "I'm ready to be wiped." No. Not happening.

Also: If you don't want to be woken up to have vitals taken, assessments done, labs drawn, and post op meds administered, maybe you shouldn't have had elective surgery. Just sayin'. Go ahead and fill out that survey.

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Specializes in Med Surg.
I have used this one for years:

(wishing I could say it out loud to a patient)

That big blue and white "H" out front doesn't stand for Hilton OR Hotel!

I had a pt call the other day and order a coffee with 3 sugars. If I'm going to be a waitress, do I get to ask for a tip?

We can see a Hilton from our hospital, maybe I should start offering to take them over there.

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I'm sorry you are in 4 point leather restraints sir, but I am not going to scratch your balls for you.

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I had one resident tell me that I couldn't check her blood sugar because I asked..."You're supposed to sneak up and just do it."

Me: "And Ms. LOL, you aren't going to hit me when I do that?"

LOL: "No, I don't hit people."

uh, huh.

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Squirting your co-worker with NS flush is amusing on a slow night. Having said co-worker shoot KY jelly more than 10 feet into your thick, curly, long hair is not as much fun.

At least it was a coworker and at least it was only the KY

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Specializes in CRRN.

Do you have any grey poop-on?

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i'm sorry you are in 4 point leather restraints sir, but i am not going to scratch your balls for you.

and i don't care that it's your fantasy to be tied up by a busty blonde and "taken advantage of", either.

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Specializes in psychiatry,geropsych,LTC/SNF, hospice.

"Just lift and scrub"

(thanks wooh; this might be my phrase of the day at work tonight :lol2:)

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