Should I wait to have a baby?

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Jul 7, 2015

As a woman who has struggled with fertility, I hope I can offer you some insight. I have PCOS and Endo. The PCOS started in my teens and by the time I was 28, I had undergone six surgeries for endometriosis. My ovaries had twisted and attached to my bladder at one point. I had scar tissue in my digestive system. It was everywhere. I was told at 23 if I didn't hurry up and have a baby, it would never happen. I wasn't ready at the time. My PCOS had caused me to go without a period for an entire year one time.

I got pregnant at 29 and had my son at 30. He is my miracle. I can tell you when I was a mom for the first time, I could have never of juggled nursing school. I was exhausted and so irritable. My son would not sleep at night, ever, for the first four months. He hated his very expensive crib!! Lol. There were days when I cried more than him. Now if for some odd reason I got pregnant, I could do it. I'm a seasoned mom now and know the tricks of the trade. But not with my first.

I did try for a second baby when my son was 3. Because of the PCOS I did 6 rounds of fertility treatments. None of them worked. So, I counted my blessings with my one and decided to be happy.

You need to see your OB to get checked out. I would either put off the program until you had the baby, or I would check with your school about being able to withdraw when you have the baby and being able to enroll again when you feel you can come back whether the baby is 6 months or 2 years old. Pregnancy can be very difficult also. But, I wouldn't put it off. Nursing school will be there, your fertility won't.

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Jul 7, 2015

I may be in the minority, but I say go ahead with the baby making. School can wait if need be, but there is a finite window for the babies and even good fertility numbers are no guarantee, take it from me. I started trying in my mid-30s, finally had a natural viable pregnancy at age 39 during nursing prereqs. After that, despite absolutely perfect fertility numbers, a second baby was not to be. On paper, I continually looked like a 20 year old, including FSH. So, you never really know when the window is going to close. Looking back, I'd not have wasted all my fertile years assuming I had more time to have kids.

No, I agree with you. If she has issues with fertility or even if she doesn't school can wait. Nursing school will always be there, the opportunity to have a baby won't. I had my son at 25 & put off school because I knew it will always be there.

naptimeRN · Jul 7, 2015

Are you going to be working too? I had a friend in nursing school who had a baby in between second and third semester. She did just fine. But she didn't work. I think working, school, and baby would be a lot.

Sizzline · Jul 7, 2015

I think that it is perfectly okay to try to have a baby during nursing school. I know more than one woman who has done so successfully. I would not, however, try if you would not have a plan in place for "what ifs." I got pregnant during my pre-requisites, after a year of trying on my own and another year of fertility treatments. The pregnancy was very hard on my body, but I was making do, until I had my anatomy scan at 20 weeks and my baby was shown to have a potentially fatal birth defect. I spent the last half of my pregnancy on bed rest, with the exception of weekly ultrasounds and monthly fetal MRIs, and emotionally, I was a mess. I had to withdraw mid-semester. In my pre-reqs, it wasn't such a big deal, but if I had been in core nursing classes, it is a HUGE process to be readmitted after withdrawing. You just never know if the pregnancy will have complications that may necessitate leaving school, so I would be sure to consider that before going forward with trying to conceive.

MrsICURN14 · Jul 7, 2015

I wouldn't do it. I graduated with my BSN may 2014 and had my first baby last month. There's no way I could have made it through school with a baby. And clinicals plus late nights studying and stressful tests would have been awful while pregnant.

People do it, sure. I wouldn't recommend it.

MissCerah · Jul 7, 2015

"Nursing school will be there, your fertility won't."

Said perfectly and to me, gives me the answer right there. BEST OF LUCK!!!!

Cakelady1 · Jul 7, 2015

I may be in the minority, but I say go ahead with the baby making. School can wait if need be, but there is a finite window for the babies and even good fertility numbers are no guarantee, take it from me. I started trying in my mid-30s, finally had a natural viable pregnancy at age 39 during nursing prereqs. After that, despite absolutely perfect fertility numbers, a second baby was not to be. On paper, I continually looked like a 20 year old, including FSH. So, you never really know when the window is going to close. Looking back, I'd not have wasted all my fertile years assuming I had more time to have kids.

I tend to agree. I understand the desire to want to complete school, as I also have it. I'm so excited to get to this next chapter in my life! But, despite looking good on paper myself (I do have PCOS, but my infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss is relatively unexplained), it took me over 10 years to complete my family. I'm sure glad I got started when I did, or else I never would have had enough time.

And yes, it can change on a dime - so if the OP decides to proceed with school, I hope she sees her doctor regularly for bloodwork.

It's just that I know, and so many of us here know, that fertility at 37 is in rapid decline and if having a child is important to her, it's better to do it ASAP. Yes indeed, school will always there.

defying.gravity · Jul 7, 2015

I was just accepted to nursing school and will start the two year program in September. I am 35 years old and won't be done with the program until I am 37. My boyfriend and I really want to have a child ASAP because neither of us have kids and after 6 years together it is something both of us are ready for. Is it possible to complete school while pregnant? My age concerns me because I don't want to be 40 and having children. I also have worked very hard to get to where I am academically and don't want to give up on that either. Is it unreasonable to even consider having a baby and finishing school at the same time?

In my view, it's definitely not unreasonable to consider having a baby and attending nursing school.

I did it a long time ago as a single mother. Pregnant, gave birth, graduated on time with respectable grades even. I didn't plan it that way, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. My career didn't suffer but it wasn't easy. It turned out that I met my husband who I'm married to now just before I graduated, with a toddler and with all that going on. (stigma back then, too, single mom with a toddler ... bless my husband for not caring about that ... happily married long time with a lovely family) It was a juggling act and a blur but somehow we did it. My son who was with me in nursing school is well adjusted, happy, intelligent, successful. He hates blood and poop with a passion, that might be a side effect of me reading him nursing texts when he was so young while studying, but I can't really be sure of that.

I know many nurses who have been pregnant, got pregnant, gave birth in nursing school. The schools seem to have their own protocol for these students, it always has seemed to work out fine for the them. I guess with a lot of the second career tracks, this is more common since a lot of second career nurses have a similar situation as you do.

If I were in your situation I would be asking myself what would happen after graduation that would make having a baby more appealing than during nursing school. First year nursing can be pretty rigorous as well. Congratulations on your acceptance!

MJB2010 · Jul 7, 2015

I'd much rather have a baby than a nursing degree. Sorry, but that is the truth! You never know how long it will take to have a baby or if you may encounter any fertility problems, I'd go ahead and have a baby. Do you have a lot of help from family? Once the baby arrives, you will need it! Wishing you all the best. School will be there later! We had several pregnant students in my class, some made it some did not. I had my first baby at 35 and had hyperemesis. I was really sick, but now I have the best baby boy ever!

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Jul 7, 2015

It is not my intention to ruffle feathers, but I'm going to ruffle feathers.

There are three people to be considered, not just two.

Caring_RN21 · Jul 7, 2015

It is possible.. but I'd say wait... Not only till nursing school is over, but I'd wait until you have 1 yr in experience so you have the time off to take to spend with the baby when you have it.

I started nursing school with a 6 month old and 2 yr old.. it is possible but extremely more stressful.

Two women I went to school with became pregnant towards the end of nursing school and had their babies right after, and waited a long time to start working.. then had more trouble getting jobs because they waited so long after school to get a job and they expected that their skills were lacking form taking time off.

It is possible, but it will be harder.

obrn2 · Jul 7, 2015

I waited. My fertility was tops then, but the age factor has affected my ovarian reserve. The real problem? Male factor infertility. It seems no one talks about male factor infertility! I did not even really know this was a thing until...

We may or may not have had problems had we started earlier, but now it's a much more complicated issue.

You have to evaluate your desire for a child. Nursing school can be done with time if you're committed. Baby making can be much more complicated because so much is out of your control (while nursing school is pretty much all you).