Should I wait to have a baby?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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I was just accepted to nursing school and will start the two year program in September. I am 35 years old and won't be done with the program until I am 37. My boyfriend and I really want to have a child ASAP because neither of us have kids and after 6 years together it is something both of us are ready for. Is it possible to complete school while pregnant? My age concerns me because I don't want to be 40 and having children. I also have worked very hard to get to where I am academically and don't want to give up on that either. Is it unreasonable to even consider having a baby and finishing school at the same time?

I had a toddler and became pregnant with baby #2 during nursing school. I had her during Christmas break and chose to sit out the following semester and came back in the fall.

Not every program will be willing to work with the desires of a new mom, but some certainly will.

Having a baby during nursing school was very very difficult. I would never encourage anyone to go that route, but if you handle stress really well and have a whole lot of family support and people around you willing to help out, it can be done.

I was lucky I had the baby during Christmas break. It would not have been possible to "not miss much" if I'd had her mid semester.

I had a c-section and just didn't bounce back from that compared to one of my co-students who had an uncomplicated lady partsl birth and only missed one or two classes! I had a post op infection that required a week of hospitalization. It just would not have been possible to miss all those clinicals and still pass. YMMV.

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It depends solely on you. Some people can barely handle school without kids, others have many and do well. You also need to take into consideration that, although you are not old, women over 35 have increased risks associated with pregnancy. That can be a deciding factor either way for you.

1. You may not want to increase risk by waiting to get pregnant, or

2. You may not want to go through a high risk pregnancy while going through a rigorous program.

I would do as others suggest and speak to an OBGYN, and decide your best course of action based on your individual educational goals, medical advice, and family situation.

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Specializes in critical care.

I'd wait. FMLA is much more agreeable/flexible than nursing school. School is hard with kids. REALLY hard. I can't imagine how much harder it would be with a baby. My pre-reqs and gen eds were done when my kids weren't yet in school. They were in school when I started my program and thank god for that. I know you are feeling the weight of time, but it really will be so much harder if you don't wait.

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I also start the Nursing program in September with my 1 year old daughter :dead:. I recently took a Pharmacology class and did not make the mark to pass (77% and need a 80% to pass). It is very tough and time management is super important. I'm already getting organized and planning so I can make it these next two years. My family is also getting prepared to take care of my daughter when my husband is at work. I understand now that I won't be in my daughter life much as I'd like to but 2 years should go by fast.

I understand your concern withage but I'm sure you will be fine as along as you are healthy. Talk it over with your doctor.I suggest your last year of school to be a great time to get pregnant. Then you know you can commit the time to your newborn and not miss a beat because school will take you away. My husband and I plan to try for more children then. Good luck to you.

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I understand your concern withage but I'm sure you will be fine as along as you are healthy.

I can't let this fly, I'm sorry. (No offense intended, TojayRobin! I know and understand that I am abnormally obsessed with infertility, and that's simply because my own journey to motherhood was so hellacious.)

The longevity of female fertility has nothing to do with health. Eating healthy, exercising, etc will do nothing to stop fertility decline. It just happens, no one can prevent it. And yes, a lot of women will still be fertile at 37 - but a lot of women won't.

Nursing school with children is hard, I totally get it. I'm in that boat, myself. My daughter is only 3. But every woman only has so much time, a window of fertility; and that's scientific fact.

Hopefully, Original Poster, your FSH and AMH (especially) are fine and you have time to put it off until 37. Chances are, you will. But just in case....

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Specializes in PCT, RN.

Maybe you can look into timing it right. Obviously it's a long shot since not everyone gets pregnant when they want to.

There are some people that time pregnancy a certain way so they actually give birth between semesters (such as the end of May). Others plan it so they give birth right after nursing school is over, so you're pregnant the last semester and a half.

Worth a shot to look into!

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Specializes in Surgery.

Any reason to think you may have problems with infertility such as irregular cycles, endometriosis, history of PID or Polycystic ovarian disease?

If you're really concerned go to your OB/Gyn and and have them check your FSH, progesterone levels, prolactin, and TSH but without a diagnosis this will most likely be self-pay and then the provider may not even order the labs. I'd probably just wait until I was married. Honestly, anything can happen with relationships, and if you're serious about having a baby then you want to know your partner is 100% invested in you both...

Good luck

FYI I had my first during the beginning of NP school at age 36 and my second after graduation at age 38, both healthy!

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Ovarian Reserve issues do not present with symptoms.

AMH will tell you how many eggs are left in your basket :laugh: and FSH will tell you the quality of those left.

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This is a really hard one, but you might think about it this way:

Which would you regret more - never becoming a nurse or never having a baby?

As Cakelady says, fertility can disappear at any time, even for those who are healthy, even for those who do everything right. Most women at 37 can still get pregnant, but many cannot. By age 40, about half can no longer get pregnant. If you found that you were among that half, how would you feel?

Best of luck whatever you decide.

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I may be in the minority, but I say go ahead with the baby making. School can wait if need be, but there is a finite window for the babies and even good fertility numbers are no guarantee, take it from me. I started trying in my mid-30s, finally had a natural viable pregnancy at age 39 during nursing prereqs. After that, despite absolutely perfect fertility numbers, a second baby was not to be. On paper, I continually looked like a 20 year old, including FSH. So, you never really know when the window is going to close. Looking back, I'd not have wasted all my fertile years assuming I had more time to have kids.

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Specializes in Med/ Surg/ Telemetry, Public Health.

I think it will be hard to have a baby while in nursing school. You will have to be financially strong, pay for things like formula, clothes, pampers, daycare expenses etc. In nursing school you can only miss so many lecture days and clinical days. Plus this new born baby is going to keep you up all night, you won't be able to study effectively.Some daycare centers will not take newborns until they are six weeks of age. If you do decide to have a baby make sure the program will let you take a leave of absence for a semester and let you pick up where you left off if needed.

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I am 26 years old. I had my first baby in between my Junior and Senior year. 3 weeks before the start of my Fall/Senior semester I gave birth via unplanned c-section with postpartum-PIH. Then had terrible time bonding because of stupid postpartum depression.

Now obviously I didn't plan for these complications but it was now really hard!! During classes I was okay being all fat and pregnant. I didn't have any health problems during. No special accommodations was given in class or clinical. Baby appointments had to be scheduled around my 2 classs days (T&Th 920-3pm) and 3 clinical days (MWF 630-2pm). Then I worked weekends waitressing. I got very sick after I had the baby. Then I had to find childcare to meet the above schedule plus time to study. I would cram study week nights so long as I had a babysitter *Thank the Heavens for grandma!* I didn't fail anything, and graduated this May :smug: Spring semester was 100x harder because baby was about 6 months old and turned mobile. I couldn't just put her in her swing for an hour beside me while I did homework. I had to take her with me to study some days. My husband works for racing and was at the shop 7-6ish M-F and weekends was usually gone. It was just me and good ole' grandma helping me some days. There was a clinical night where I stayed up to write a patho, finally fell asleep and baby woke -.- It sucked.

To end my short little story - It is hard, either before, or after, or both to have a new baby during nursing school. It is hard to have older children during nursing school. It can be done though. Just don't forget that baby has its own plans and so does your body. Make sure that you understand that mommyhood or school may have to be sacrificed in the event that something doesn't go perfectly.

It is up to your amount of determination and whatever help you can scrounge up if you want to succeed. But remember that "Well I have a newborn"..."I'm pregnant" is a LAME excuse to fail or use when you're running late, don't have your homework, are not prepared for clinical, have to miss class etc.. Especially when it has been done before.

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