Should I tell my friend or not?

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

I work in medical imaging and I really like my job. After years on Med/Surg it's a wonderful change. I have a good friend who still works on Med/Surg and is really getting burned out.

We had a PRN position open in the dept and I suggested that she transfer to medical imaging. She has orientated 4 days. My manager talked to me today and told me that he's not sure that she will work out. He feels like she's not agressive enough, seems timid, doesn't jump into things like I and the other nurses do. He said he got the same story from the CT and MRI department heads.

He felt really bad. He had a hard time even starting the conversation with me. I told him that I was not hurt or offended in any way. If they didn't feel she would work out, I would have no problem with them not using her. (and I truly feel that way).

My decision is should I tell her? She is working for me two days next week and then for 2 weeks while I'm on vacation. My boss said he's willing to let her work those days and see how it goes but he expects to have to replace her.

My instinct is to not say anything. Let it work itself out. I feel like if I tell her she'll be offended that she's thought of as being slow, not quite with the program. She's fine on Med/Surg and it's a very hard floor to work. She's been there about 6 years so she's had time to get her routine down and radiology is a whole different critter.

I just don't know what to do? Say something? Or just let it go?

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

I wouldn't say anything - it isn't your place first of all. And second, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and let her work for awhile. Some of us are slow starters . . and we get better with time.

steph

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

I wouldn't say anything - it isn't your place first of all. And second, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and let her work for awhile. Some of us are slow starters . . and we get better with time. steph

That's how I feel about her. She will get better with time. Problem is I don't think they'll give her that time. I would like to tell her to show more confidence while in medical imaging even if she feels nervous and to pick up her pace a little but I'm not so sure it would be well received.

[fluffwad]

Don't say anything to her now. It's not your place, and it would just create problems. If they don't keep her and she brings the subject up afterwards, be supportive.

[GingerSue]

I wouldn't say anything

this is between her and the manager

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

That's how I feel about her. She will get better with time. Problem is I don't think they'll give her that time. I would like to tell her to show more confidence while in medical imaging even if she feels nervous and to pick up her pace a little but I'm not so sure it would be well received.

I think I would go ahead and support her learning curve though - just as if you never knew the manager had doubts. Since you know so much more, just look at it as mentoring a new employee.

steph

[RNisme]

I agree, say nothing. If she is replaced, don;t admit to knowing. I understand she is your friend, but you cannot be responsible for her employment. Be supportive, be there if she is replaced - be her friend. Anything more may cause bad feelings, and affect the friendship.

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

I wouldn't say anything to her, but I think that I would show her how to step up the pace a bit or ask your boss if she can orient with you for a day or two; not to be responsible for her, but to give it a fair shot. Many people are intimidated in new surroundings and feel a bit better if a familiar face is around them. I would say to the boss that you do not take it personal once more to assure him, and offer to assist her for a day or so. It is not your responsibility at all. I do understand how you feel, though.

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

I wouldn't say anything to her, but I think that I would show her how to step up the pace a bit or ask your boss if she can orient with you for a day or two; not to be responsible for her, but to give it a fair shot. Many people are intimidated in new surroundings and feel a bit better if a familiar face is around them. I would say to the boss that you do not take it personal once more to assure him, and offer to assist her for a day or so. It is not your responsibility at all. I do understand how you feel, though.

She's already had 4 days orientation when only 2 are required. I don't feel it's my business whether or not she works down here but am trying to determine if I say something to her would she get hurt and say "the hell with them" or would she (as I would) step it up and jump up and grab it. I just think she would say "the hell with it" which is why I'm leaning towards saying nothing. If she doesn't get to work down here it won't effect our friendship. She'll just continue to be unhappy on Med/Surg and I can't let that be my problem. Thanks for the words of advice, it has helped me. I think I'll not saying anything. If she asks I will tell her why. She will be looking for a new job and I don't want her to run into the same stumbling block. My boss said she did not interview well. Lack of confidence.

[ceecel.dee, MSN, RN]

Two days orientation required, and she has doubled that already? Perhaps even you would become very frustrated with her on staff eventually and that could harm or destroy the friendship, which is probably more valuable.

I wouldn't tell her, but let nature take its course.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

I'm not trying to argue -- it's very possible that this position is simply not a good fit for your friend.

However I'm just asking - is 2 days really sufficient orientation? Is it reasonable to expect someone to be aggressive enough to "jump on" things after 2 days?

[Keepstanding, ASN, RN]

i would keep quiet and let things progress as they would if you weren't friends with her. i would not even correct her or nudge her with the job either. she will most likely take offense and this will harm your relationship. good luck with this.

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praiser