Should I move out or live with mom during school????

allnurses Guide · Mar 17, 2010

I'd stay with my mom. What a great opportunity to focus on school and to have grandma there for your kids. :up:

steph

juliaann · Mar 17, 2010

I'd stay with my mom. Not having to worry about finances and just focus on school is a great offer...

If you don't take her up on it, ask her if I can move in.

RNforLongTime · Mar 17, 2010

I'd take her up on her offer. It is SO hard to work and go to nursing school at the same time!

Short-Stuff 23 · Mar 17, 2010

I would sooo stay with your mom!! I can understand wanting your independance and such but nursing school is hard and very time consuming. You would have her to watch the kids, and to help with housework, etc! Stay with mom. Much better in the long run!

franciscangypsy · Mar 17, 2010

I would stay with my Mom. I'm actually still staying with my family even though I graduate in May so I can try and knock out my loan as much as possible before I move out.

rn/writer, RN · Mar 17, 2010

This is a fabulous offer, one which many AN members wish they could have.

I would, however, do a couple of things. First, you and your mom should sit down and discuss how each of you envisions this arrangement. And you should both talk about things that are important to you, just as you would do with any adult kind of partner you'd consider moving in with--things like finances, discipline, babysitting, and all of those other pesky details of communal living. Will you share in the cooking and other chores? Will you have the freedom to come and go as you please (provided the kids are squared away), or will your mom want to have a say in your social life?

The biggest determination of your success in living with your mom is how well the two of you get along now and how well you can resolve conflict. If you have good problem-solving skills and the two of you respect each other's boundaries, this could be a real blessing to all of you. You should also take into consideration the way your mother feels about your fiance. You'd hate to end up being the rope in their tug of war.

I'd take this one year at a time. That's a bit less scary than signing on for a four-year hitch. Set up regular times to review how things are going and talk about any glitches that have come up or changes that need to be made.

Also, give the kids a chance to tell you how they feel. And give them plenty of notice if you stay with your mom and decide at some point to move out.

If you both go into this with a strong commitment to making this work (as opposed to either of you threatening to end it whenever you get upset), this could be a wonderful arrangement that will provide your children with many special memories and strengthen the bond that all of you share.

smarti15 · Mar 17, 2010

I personally live with my mom. I think it depends on your relationship with your mom. My mom and I are best friends, and we get along really well. Nursing school has some crazy hours, and I can always depend on my mom to make sure that my kids get to school, she cooks for us, and helps with the housework. In fact, the only thing I worry about is school. I say that if you and your mom get along well enough, then stay with your mom. If your fiance can't support you and your kids, then he can help you out in other ways. He can help with yard work, dinner, studying, and moral support. I'm sure he will understand that this might be the best for you to get through school as fast as possible.

ItsTheDude · Mar 17, 2010

move in with mom (save money, see your mom lots & mom will enjoy the grandkids), go to school (so you earn more in the future) and get a part time job in health care while in school (save money and/or provide more for your family).

LoveMyBugs, BSN, CNA, RN · Mar 17, 2010

I am 29 full time single mom with two boys 11 and 9 in my last year of nursing school. I say move in with mom. I have a unique situation, where I needed to back home when I started down the path of nursing school, my mom owned her house and a duplex, she had wanted to downsize from her house at that time.

So she sold her house and we each moved into an end of the duplex, it has been wonderful, I still have some independence by us having seperate dwellings, yet grandma is 15 steps away for those 6 am clinical times, and she is there in the afternoon for when my boys get home and I am still at school

There have been many days where I come home and my kitchen has been cleaned and my laundry folded, and she generally makes dinner everynight, so I can study.

There has been some great advice offered, on here, take it a year at a time, lay out the ground rules, but I would have never been able to make it through nursing school without my mom

I know when I graduate and can afford to do so I am sending my mom on a cruise

morte, LPN, LVN · Mar 17, 2010

i am with Miranda (not unusual, lol) the only thing i would add, is ....is she unhappy with the fiance? and where does he fit in to this four year program?

allnurses Guide · Mar 17, 2010

I think Miranda hit on all the important points (as usual) :)

Most important point being your relationship with your mom. If you clash alot now, nursing school can put a severe strain on things. Lucky you! Your mom has made such a generous offer! Best wishes!