I currently work as a CNA in a LTC/Rehab nursing home, but I have to share with you the few incidents and occasions when I have witnessed sexual harassment towards male employee's in my facility.
First incident occurred when a male nurse working the daytime shift was trying to get buzzed into the building. I work noc shift, and the building doesn't really open up until 6:30 am. A fellow CNA walked up to the surveillance camera to identify who was at the door, she noticed who it was, pressed the speaker button and said "Come on in, sexy!". I only overheard the comment that she made, and it made me feel uneasy... even though her comment wasn't towards me. This nurse was the temporary rehab 7-3 am unit charge nurse. I was kinda expecting him to say something to this girl, but it looked as if he just went with it. It is so obvious this girl crushes on him, she practical drools whenever he is within six feet of her.
Second incident occurred when a PCA was watching a high-fall risk resident of mine during the night. Before the night shift began, he wanted to excuse himself to use the bathroom. Before he reached the restroom, a CNA co-worker of mine stopped him and said "It is good to see you. It is always good to see a young, strong, handsome man like yourself." She said this, all the while slowly caressing his arm up and down. He showed a look of disguist on his face... same as I. I was pleased to hear him say "When a man sexually harasses a woman, all hell breaks loose. But when a woman harasses a man, nobody pays it any thought."
Next a recent incident occurred. The daytime shift was beginning to start. A male CNA arrived about ten minutes early to gather linen and supplies to start his day. As another 7-3 am CNA walked by, she loudly screamed "Heyyy, lover boy!" The look on her face was appalling. She looked at this gentleman like a dog to a big, juicy steak. I felt embarrassed for her. Yet at the same time (although her comments weren't made towards me) I wanted to confront her, and remind her that her language is inappropriate... but thought it wise to keep my mouth shut.
What do you think I should have done? Should I have confronted my co-workers about their comments? Would you have, and if so, how would you phrase it? I regret now not saying anything. It seemed that on the first and last incident I described, the male co-workers just brushed their comment aside as if it didn't phase them. But that is still no excuse for the co-worker using the unprofessional language. This question is towards males of the nursing profession: Have you ever been sexually harassed? If so, what were your actions? What would you say or do in cases like these?
I don't know if I would define it as sexual harassment, but being the only male nurse on my unit I really hate having to listen to all of my female coworkers talk openly in detail about their periods, and I mean in detail I've told my nurse supervisor (who is female and is also friends outside of work with these nurses), but she basically said I need to be more understanding and caring about the hardships of my female coworkers, and if it bothered me I could always put in a transfer to another unit.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I don't know if I would define it as sexual harassment, but being the only male nurse on my unit I really hate having to listen to all of my female coworkers talk openly in detail about their periods, and I mean in detail I've told my nurse supervisor (who is female and is also friends outside of work with these nurses), but she basically said I need to be more understanding and caring about the hardships of my female coworkers, and if it bothered me I could always put in a transfer to another unit.
I don't know about "The hardships" of your female co-workers but look at it this way........if a female goes to work on an oil rig or become a longshoreman......she can't blush and object every time profanity is used, if she does she probably should find a different position.
Many years ago we were the first unit the have a male nurse, and he was a nice piece of eye candy (just kidding but he was cute) at first we were awkward then we forgot he wasn't female. take it as being "one of the girls"....:hug:
Harassment is in the eyes of the beholder...if somone is making unwanted sexual advances, then that is harassment. How do you know if the advances were unwanted or not?
On the other hand, since what is going on seems to be making you uncomfortable, it might be a case of the behavior creating a sexually charged workplace, which is also a violation. Follow proper protocols, which might be to ask the offender(s) to stop, then if it continues go up the chain of command. If your annoyance is simply for what the other person might be feeling, I would let it go, it is not your battle to fight. But if you are truly feeling uncomfortable, then you have every right to speak up.
LOL! You call those examples of sexual harrasment!?
What were you expecting, some Mediao sex scene?
The examples you gave seem pretty normal and not really harrasment to me.
A lot of people would consider that kind of talk and conduct normal, and that's what's sad about it. Calling someone 'sexy' or 'loverboy' when it is not their name sounds like harrashment to me.
What you speak of was not directed at you. I think you are being sensitive. If you are uncomfortable then pull the offender aside and tell them you found their behavior offensive.
The above mentioned actions and comments were not made towards me. I overheard some inapproriate language, and observed some inappropriate behavior... and I got offended. It is a risk that some people may get offended when others behave unaccordingly or out of conduct. I do not believe that my emotions in these situations were irrational. I am a sensitive person, and I take pride that I have not grown insensitized while witnessing behaviors such as these. Hopefully my sensitivity will become a good quality to have, once I start to work as a nurse.
Not that this defends their behavior but now you know what it means to be cat called and wolf whistled by construction workers and have men speak to one's breasts instead of looking at one's eyes. Or being considered of lower intelligence if you are blonde and are well endowed in the chest region.
I once had to quit a job due to sexual harrashment. My manager continued to ask me 'Do you like me?' Once when we were alone, he grabbed ahold of me and tried to kiss me. I could never show my face there again. Sadly, there are some pretty insensitive people out there who might label my emotional state to this scenario as being 'sensitive'. It doesn't matter. I felt uncomfortable, and it was wrong. When I think about this now, instead of running from the situation, I should have taken action. If he did this to me, who knows what he may do to somebody else. I am asking for advice on how to take action when I witness another co-worker being harrashed. I do know from personal experience what it's like to be 'cat called' by construction workers and from others. I didn't need to see inappropriate actions made towards my male co-workers to get a taste of what that's like.
Harassment is in the eyes of the beholder...if somone is making unwanted sexual advances, then that is harassment. How do you know if the advances were unwanted or not?
I do not know for sure how any of my male co-workers felt, nor do I want to assume anything. All I know for sure is how I felt from what I saw and heard. And I am pretty sure that the offenders actions and comments were deemed unprofessional in the workplace.
Seems to be some misunderstanding of the the definitions of sexual harassment and sexual discrimination. Sexual harassment can be unwelcome verbal or physical contact or approaches, not limited to male toward female victims. It includes ANY conversation of a sexual nature that makes a person feel uncomfortable--including female employees talking (for instance) about their periods, or male employees talking about their sexual prowess--even if those comments are not directed toward the victim (for example, if this type of conversation is going on in the lunchroom where a colleague at another table may overhear and feel uncomfortable). It is the intent of these conversations that make it sexual harassment because the speaker is trying to make the victim feel uncomfortable. And no, even in traditionally male dominated workplaces these conversations are not acceptable if a lone female employee feels intimidated or uncomfortable because of the sexual nature of the conversation. On the other hand, sexual discrimination is having a different set of standards for one gender or the other whether for promotion, rate of compensation, or expectations of the employee. Sexual-harassment laws are in place to make sure everyone, regardless of gender, feels accepted and welcome in the workplace. "If you don't like it, you should find another job" is not a valid argument. To make this more clear, you might want to replace sexually charged comments with racially charged comments. If, in an all white workplace, employees made disparaging comments about minorities this would certainly have a chilling effect on retention of minorities in that workplace. Sexually charged comments have the same effect on gender and are alsoillegal.
I want to thank everyone for taking the time out to respond to my post. Some of you have offered helpful advice that I've decided to take up the next time a situation like the above mentioned occurs. Again, I want to say that none of the comments or actions that I mentioned were made towards me. And I myself am not claiming that I was sexually harrashed in the 'orginally-posted' scenarios. I was only a witness to what I seen and heard. I only believe that if I caught feelings observing and hearing what I mentioned above, then others out there may also catch feelings and get offended by some of these same actions. Sexual harrashment is sexual harrashment despite what degree is in occurence. Whether it is simply calling someone 'sexy' or 'loverboy', to the worst case scenario, and becoming physical. The conduct is wrong.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I once had to quit a job due to sexual harassment. My manager continued to ask me 'Do you like me?' Once when we were alone, he grabbed ahold of me and tried to kiss me. I could never show my face there again. Sadly, there are some pretty insensitive people out there who might label my emotional state to this scenario as being 'sensitive'. It doesn't matter. I felt uncomfortable, and it was wrong. When I think about this now, instead of running from the situation, I should have taken action. If he did this to me, who knows what he may do to somebody else. I am asking for advice on how to take action when I witness another co-worker being harassed. I do know from personal experience what it's like to be 'cat called' by construction workers and from others. I didn't need to see inappropriate actions made towards my male co-workers to get a taste of what that's like.
I too experienced a male co-worker (my boss) be sexualy inappropriate and when I said no he quickly set out to black ball me....and essentially succeeded, but that's another very long sad story. I'm sorry you experienced this as well.
You need to check with the person it was directed to.....you may be very offended but they may not be. I think your personal experiences make you more acutely sensitive and not necessarily objective with the situation. If it offends you walk away. You can report people because you didn't like they were talked to by someone else. but I don't expect too much help from management. If you feel that strongly you can always go to HR or you corporate compliance officer. I wish you luck
whether or not they are uncomfortable, it obviously is making you uncomfortable. i would go directly to the person and tell them exactly that in your nicest way "i don’t want to cause problems, i enjoy working with you (blah blah) but those comments you have been making to __ about ______ make me uncomfortable and i would appreciate it if you could refrain from making such comments around me, thank you" or next time you hear something say "come on guys, let’s try and be professional" very casually, like they (she) is acting immature.
if the behavior continues you can either a) suck up b) talk to your manager (i would not go without first speaking to the person - managers want to see you have taken some initiative) c) quit
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
what were you expecting, some Mediao sex scene?
*** no, i was expecting examples of sexual harrasment.
a lot of people would consider that kind of talk and conduct normal, and that's what's sad about it. calling someone 'sexy' or 'loverboy' when it is not their name sounds like harrashment to me.
*** you would incorrect. it would only be harrasment if it made the person uncomfortable. there is no indication of that.
This question is towards males of the nursing profession: Have you ever been sexually harassed? If so, what were your actions? What would you say or do in cases like these?
If you define "harassment" as the situations above, then YES I have been sexually harassed.
My responses to the playful situations you mentioned have been to laugh it off, but not escalate the situation. Like your co-workers, the situations you describe would not phase me.
I'm sorry you were hurt by these coworkers getting hooted at a bit by female coworkers.
I've told my nurse supervisor (who is female and is also friends outside of work with these nurses), but she basically said I need to be more understanding and caring about the hardships of my female coworkers, and if it bothered me I could always put in a transfer to another unit.
(just kidding but he was cute) at first we were awkward then we forgot he wasn't female. take it as being "one of the girls"....:hug:
Brewer,RN
20 Posts
I don't know if I would define it as sexual harassment, but being the only male nurse on my unit I really hate having to listen to all of my female coworkers talk openly in detail about their periods, and I mean in detail
I've told my nurse supervisor (who is female and is also friends outside of work with these nurses), but she basically said I need to be more understanding and caring about the hardships of my female coworkers, and if it bothered me I could always put in a transfer to another unit.