Sexual Harrashment towards Men in the nursing profession!

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Specializes in LTC/Rehab.

I currently work as a CNA in a LTC/Rehab nursing home, but I have to share with you the few incidents and occasions when I have witnessed sexual harassment towards male employee's in my facility.

First incident occurred when a male nurse working the daytime shift was trying to get buzzed into the building. I work noc shift, and the building doesn't really open up until 6:30 am. A fellow CNA walked up to the surveillance camera to identify who was at the door, she noticed who it was, pressed the speaker button and said "Come on in, sexy!". I only overheard the comment that she made, and it made me feel uneasy... even though her comment wasn't towards me. This nurse was the temporary rehab 7-3 am unit charge nurse. I was kinda expecting him to say something to this girl, but it looked as if he just went with it. It is so obvious this girl crushes on him, she practical drools whenever he is within six feet of her.

Second incident occurred when a PCA was watching a high-fall risk resident of mine during the night. Before the night shift began, he wanted to excuse himself to use the bathroom. Before he reached the restroom, a CNA co-worker of mine stopped him and said "It is good to see you. It is always good to see a young, strong, handsome man like yourself." She said this, all the while slowly caressing his arm up and down. He showed a look of disguist on his face... same as I. I was pleased to hear him say "When a man sexually harasses a woman, all hell breaks loose. But when a woman harasses a man, nobody pays it any thought."

Next a recent incident occurred. The daytime shift was beginning to start. A male CNA arrived about ten minutes early to gather linen and supplies to start his day. As another 7-3 am CNA walked by, she loudly screamed "Heyyy, lover boy!" The look on her face was appalling. She looked at this gentleman like a dog to a big, juicy steak. I felt embarrassed for her. Yet at the same time (although her comments weren't made towards me) I wanted to confront her, and remind her that her language is inappropriate... but thought it wise to keep my mouth shut.

What do you think I should have done? Should I have confronted my co-workers about their comments? Would you have, and if so, how would you phrase it? I regret now not saying anything. It seemed that on the first and last incident I described, the male co-workers just brushed their comment aside as if it didn't phase them. But that is still no excuse for the co-worker using the unprofessional language. This question is towards males of the nursing profession: Have you ever been sexually harassed? If so, what were your actions? What would you say or do in cases like these?

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Specializes in LTC.

Well this is a tough one, as you are not the one being harassed. The men who are being harassed should report it. It saddens me that anyone is sexually harassed at work. I have been sexually harassed at work and it does not feel good, especially when it is reported and nothing is done. The only thing I would recommend is advising your co-workers to report the incidents and you can be their witness if needed. Offer your co-workers support and help them identify their resources.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I think, speaking as a man, that it is important to distinguish that there is a line between flirtation (such as endearing talk especially if you see these people every day) in the work place and blatant harassment (such as groping, or obvious sexual euphamisism, ect...). I think most women would abide to this as well, but I can't speak for them, only in my own experience.

Irregardless, I think we as men still get the most sexual harassment from patients such as those little old Jewish ladies who want to "take us home with them" even though their husbands are sitting right there beside them. LOL. Definitely awkward.

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Specializes in LTC/Rehab.
I think, speaking as a man, that it is important to distinguish that there is a line between flirtation (such as endearing talk especially if you see these people every day) in the work place and blatant harassment (such as groping, or obvious sexual euphamisism, ect...). I think most women would abide to this as well, but I can't speak for them, only in my own experience.

Irregardless, I think we as men still get the most sexual harassment from patients such as those little old Jewish ladies who want to "take us home with them" even though their husbands are sitting right there beside them. LOL. Definitely awkward.

So is calling someone "sexy", "lover boy" and slowly caressing somebody's arm (beyond flirtation) not considered sexual harrashment? Is this type of behavior and language still appropriate for a working environment, or did I jump to conclusions?

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I would say, for me, if I heard it maybe one time during my shift and it was all in good nature, I would say most wouldn't even think twice. Eventually, depending on how big the staff is and how long you've worked their I imagine you get to make pretty good rapport with your coworkers and get away with saying things like that. Do I think it's completely unprofessional? Not really, cause we generally go back to doing our tasks for the day and it's a one time deal.

It sounds to me like your story circumstances is taking it a little beyond that point and moving in to possibly dangerous waters and going in to the realm of being harassment, especially if what you're saying about her being obsessed with him is true. Obviously, at this point I personally would deem it unprofessional. I would actually talk to the guy first and see how he feels about it before confronting the girl and I think the best solution and the responsibility for the guy whom this is directed at to tell the crazed girl to stop.

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I think, speaking as a man, that it is important to distinguish that there is a line between flirtation (such as endearing talk especially if you see these people every day) in the work place and blatant harassment (such as groping, or obvious sexual euphamisism, ect...). I think most women would abide to this as well, but I can't speak for them, only in my own experience.

Irregardless, I think we as men still get the most sexual harassment from patients such as those little old Jewish ladies who want to "take us home with them" even though their husbands are sitting right there beside them. LOL. Definitely awkward.

Any particular reason you calling out the little old Jews?

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

If I witnessed what I perceived to be sexual harassment towards a peer I would take them aside and ask them if they were uncomfortable.If so then I would offer my support as a witness and encourage them to go forward through the chain of command to report it.Then for me it ends there.If the guy didn't feel harassed then it's none of my business.

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Case scenario: In a job I had, there was a co-nurse who all the LOLs swooned over. They would actually pet him - these LOLs were totally demented and lucky for all had become very sweet and confused vs combative and confused. One even called the guy "such a pretty girl". Of course, I began to harass him just as much as I could and we'd laugh till we cried about it sometimes. I called him "hotstuff" and he called me "nobody" (because when he was there, the LOLs didn't know I existed).

Thing is sometimes it's good rapport that develops these things. I also have a male friend that I have known for 25 years. We worked our first job out of college (last career) as newbies together. I call him "loser". It doesn't matter how many years go by, if I call him to check up and talk, I'll always say "hey loser" - there will be a short pause on the other line, then he'll excitedly say "hey netglow!!!!!" All this can be out of friendship. It may be that you aren't truly welcomed into the fold if you aren't included in the banter.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
Any particular reason you calling out te little old Jews?

Yes, because that is the patient population that I see most and has the highest incidence of acute hospitalization in which I interact with on a daily basis.

It would be erring to misconstrue that for an anti-Semitic comment.

EDIT: And they are generally the sweetest ladies toward me, so I sticks out well in memory LOL

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Than maybe you ought to think about what ethnicity or any general group you single out in posts talking about behaviors. It gets set up for a lot of issues,

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I have heard nurses in the intensivecare units referring to a male x-ray tech as sex ray.

As well I have seen Mediaography

plastered on the walls of the

nurses bathroom from playgirl

magazine. Who would want to

be a male patient on that unit.

not me.

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

i recall an incident that occurred long time ago, when i worked in a facility that demanded the "white uniform not scrubs" i bend over to pick-up a pen that one of my fellow nurses had dropped...when this other nurse grabbed me from behind with wide open hand my privates! :eek: i was so stun i jumped back into her hand!;as she replied"oh muscle boy likes it". having said that, this happened long ago when i was still a new nurse. it strikes me funny like one of you stated on a previous post that it's double standard; if a male acts inappropriately he's immediately writing up or fired. however, when the perpetrator is a female, the first thing is said "what you don't like women touching you?". needless to say, my motto at work is " i don't get my honey where i get my money"

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