I currently work as a CNA in a LTC/Rehab nursing home, but I have to share with you the few incidents and occasions when I have witnessed sexual harassment towards male employee's in my facility.
First incident occurred when a male nurse working the daytime shift was trying to get buzzed into the building. I work noc shift, and the building doesn't really open up until 6:30 am. A fellow CNA walked up to the surveillance camera to identify who was at the door, she noticed who it was, pressed the speaker button and said "Come on in, sexy!". I only overheard the comment that she made, and it made me feel uneasy... even though her comment wasn't towards me. This nurse was the temporary rehab 7-3 am unit charge nurse. I was kinda expecting him to say something to this girl, but it looked as if he just went with it. It is so obvious this girl crushes on him, she practical drools whenever he is within six feet of her.
Second incident occurred when a PCA was watching a high-fall risk resident of mine during the night. Before the night shift began, he wanted to excuse himself to use the bathroom. Before he reached the restroom, a CNA co-worker of mine stopped him and said "It is good to see you. It is always good to see a young, strong, handsome man like yourself." She said this, all the while slowly caressing his arm up and down. He showed a look of disguist on his face... same as I. I was pleased to hear him say "When a man sexually harasses a woman, all hell breaks loose. But when a woman harasses a man, nobody pays it any thought."
Next a recent incident occurred. The daytime shift was beginning to start. A male CNA arrived about ten minutes early to gather linen and supplies to start his day. As another 7-3 am CNA walked by, she loudly screamed "Heyyy, lover boy!" The look on her face was appalling. She looked at this gentleman like a dog to a big, juicy steak. I felt embarrassed for her. Yet at the same time (although her comments weren't made towards me) I wanted to confront her, and remind her that her language is inappropriate... but thought it wise to keep my mouth shut.
What do you think I should have done? Should I have confronted my co-workers about their comments? Would you have, and if so, how would you phrase it? I regret now not saying anything. It seemed that on the first and last incident I described, the male co-workers just brushed their comment aside as if it didn't phase them. But that is still no excuse for the co-worker using the unprofessional language. This question is towards males of the nursing profession: Have you ever been sexually harassed? If so, what were your actions? What would you say or do in cases like these?
The victim doesn't necessarily need to feel uncomfortable for a situation to be sexual harassment. Even if the victim welcomes the advances of a supervisor, a professor, or other person in a position of power, a relationship between supervisor/ subordinate or teacher/ student is inappropriate. Similarly, a man may flirt, make sexually suggestive comments to a female co-worker who isn't offended, but the result is her reputation is diminished in the eyes of other employees. So, even without her complaint, his actions are harassing.
The subject is complicated, misunderstood by many, and is often dismissed as 'silly'. A poll some years ago asked working women if they ever were sexually harassed (with accurate discriptions of what constitutes sexual harassment); the great majority said they had suffered sexual harassment. It's extremely common; many people mislabel harassment as 'friendly joking' or 'just part of workplace banter' and don't see the harm it causes. Years ago, date rape was not thought to be 'real' rape, but by educating people it is now much more widely accepted that 'no' means 'no' and sexual contact against a person's wishes and consent IS rape.
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
The subject is complicated, misunderstood by many, and is often dismissed as 'silly'.
*** Well it's not silly, its as serious as it gets. However we are talking about people's livelyhoods here. How they put food on the table for their children. It is a far bigger crime to leave a family destitute than to make a comment that may or may not be offensive.
No in case should any action ever be taken without first telling them that the comment is offensive. Nobody deserves to lose their jobs over saying "hey sexy" without first being told face to face that they are offending someone.
Ratting people out to management for comments or whatever seems pretty asinine to me. If you see something that bothers you that doesn't affect you directly it'd be better to just tell the parties involved to tone it down.
I would never rat anyone out for anything that did not directly affect patient or employee safety. When I see something that I think isn't right or might lead to trouble I bring it up privately with the person involved. If they totally blow me off I might consider taking it further, but usually people will thank you for helping them to avoid problems.
Frankly, I'm pretty tough to offend. Easy to embarrass though--doesn't take much for my coworkers to get me to turn redder than arterial blood.
Pretty much only patients who're totally doped up and don't have their glasses on ever say I'm sexy.
Based on what you have written and your response to other peoples' posts, you just seem to be one of those people who become offended over every little thing you see.
If the behavior doesn't bother the people involved (some people actually like the attention) then I question why it should bother you. Honestly, it sounds like harmless flirtation to me.
*** no, i was expecting examples of sexual harrasment.
*** you would incorrect. it would only be harrasment if it made the person uncomfortable. there is no indication of that.
one of the scearios that i mentioned above made my co-worker uncomfortable enough to point out a well-ignored double standard towards sexual harrashment. along with the topic of sexual harrashment, one of my biggest arguments here includes: improper conduct, language and behavior in the workplace.
Ratting people out to management for comments or whatever seems pretty asinine to me. If you see something that bothers you that doesn't affect you directly it'd be better to just tell the parties involved to tone it down.
I would never rat anyone out for anything that did not directly affect patient or employee safety. When I see something that I think isn't right or might lead to trouble I bring it up privately with the person involved. If they totally blow me off I might consider taking it further, but usually people will thank you for helping them to avoid problems.
Frankly, I'm pretty tough to offend. Easy to embarrass though--doesn't take much for my coworkers to get me to turn redder than arterial blood.
Pretty much only patients who're totally doped up and don't have their glasses on ever say I'm sexy.
Thank you, but I am not looking to rat anybody out do to any of the above mentioned scenarios. I was looking for possible advice on how to properly handle situations like this. I do believe in future cases, if any arises, I will come in contact with the offender directly and just remind them that their behavior and/or language is inappropriate. They may shrug it off, or they may look at me like I'm crazy, but at least I gave them something to think about.
I understand what point you are trying to make, but the only reason that any of these cases bothered me is because of the behavior, language and/or conduct just seemed inappropriate, unprofessional and offensive to me. Point blank. If the shoes were on the other foot, and a guy came out of nowhere and referred to one of his employee's as a 'hot, sexy mama!', wouldn't that raise a few eyebrows? I'm not here to defend my emotional reaction or response to the above sceanarios. And please don't allow this thread that I have posted (somewhat annoynomously) online to give you any type of false pretense towards my character. You still don't know me.
I have provided a link to a video on 'how to recognize sexual harasshment in the workplace'. I ask that some please pay close attention to: step 3, step 4 and step 5. Warning: teddy bears are featured in the video, as to lighten up such as serious and sensitive subject matter. Thank you.
According to the definition of sexual harassment, if you overhear something that you feel is harassment and it bothers you, offends you, then it can be considered sexual harassment. You're the one sexually harassed. Sexual harassment isn't just between the offender and the person who is being addressed. It affects everyone nearby. For example, if the offender says something and the person he/she says it to isn't offended, but a person standing nearby hears it and is offended, that can be considered sexual harassment.
I don't know what happened here. I wasn't there. But the OP obvious interprets this as sexual harassment. The OP could be considered the one who was sexual harassed in this case.
I like the idea of saying "c'mon now, let's try and keep it professional". If that doesn't work, then to your charge nurse saying something along the lines of "so and so really has to go through some inappropriate comments to get into the building, or even down the hall! Comments that are not professional, that unfortunetely he has to be a captive audience to, within earshot of other employees, patients and families! It has to stop." And if you know your co-workers well enough "the stuff you are saying to so and so could be considered sexual harrassment by the person you are saying this stuff to, your patients, and their families." Also, an idea is to privately say to the person involved "I have noticed that some of the ladies have been less than professional in their comments to you. I don't condone this behavior, and just a heads up that I am on your side with this". Sometimes, unfortunetely, people need to "keep their jobs" therefore will put up with the most outrageous behaviors by co workers that otherwise someone would not. For all you know, this man may dread coming to work every time he has to, and can't wait to get out of there. And Cul2 is absolutely correct, sexual harrassment can be by law also described as overhearing or seeing something that is happening to someone else of a sexual nature that makes you uncomfortable. Further, since this is the day shift, it will just take one person's family member thinking that instead of "flirting" such and so needs to be attending to their family member, all heck will break loose.
Patti_RN
353 Posts
The victim doesn't necessarily need to feel uncomfortable for a situation to be sexual harassment. Even if the victim welcomes the advances of a supervisor, a professor, or other person in a position of power, a relationship between supervisor/ subordinate or teacher/ student is inappropriate. Similarly, a man may flirt, make sexually suggestive comments to a female co-worker who isn't offended, but the result is her reputation is diminished in the eyes of other employees. So, even without her complaint, his actions are harassing.
The subject is complicated, misunderstood by many, and is often dismissed as 'silly'. A poll some years ago asked working women if they ever were sexually harassed (with accurate discriptions of what constitutes sexual harassment); the great majority said they had suffered sexual harassment. It's extremely common; many people mislabel harassment as 'friendly joking' or 'just part of workplace banter' and don't see the harm it causes. Years ago, date rape was not thought to be 'real' rape, but by educating people it is now much more widely accepted that 'no' means 'no' and sexual contact against a person's wishes and consent IS rape.