Self inflicted

[SCRN1]

What are some of the craziest things you have seen that patients' stupidity have caused themselves? Here's a few I have taken care of:

1. Patient with a fungal infection in his brain. Cause: snorting cocaine.

2. Patient with knee infection cultured to reveal E. coli. She had knee surgery and after being discharged, she wanted back in the hospital for stronger narcotics. So, she rubbed feces in the wound knowing it would cause infection. Yep, she actually admitted to this...after being confronted with lab results.

3. Patient whose with occupation as a stripper. A man, claiming to be able to safely inject saline into the breasts of the strippers for a cheap breast enhancement. The patient ended up with a nasty infection and ended up losing a breast. The doctor had to do reconstruction in several phases. In trying to save the nipple, he attached it to the abdomen until the final surgery, where it was put back where it belonged.

[Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN]

WOW! Some of you have some great ones, but I think I have a story of self infliction that still scares me:

Years Ago, While teaching in an adjunct position at a local college I had a NURSING STUDENT in a course - looooong story made a bit shorter, she asked to meet with me /p class one pm. She "took off" her hair (one of those banana clip type cascades) and then detailed this story about having cancer/chemo and recovering (the entire nursing program was aware). Yep, her hair was very short/sporifice - looked a little sick, so... She also noted being very isolated at school - having a child, having to move 100's miles away from her mom/child. Anyway, I left that evening in tears - her story just broke my heart!

A few days later she called my home (# listed on course outline) got my then SO (now husband) and told him her story too. He was very moved by it - and offered that I reach out to her - so I did. But, something ALWAYS felt a bit wrong...but, I try to be trusting. She called me and asked that I come by her apartment - I found her vomiting and retching, in the floor in moderate distress - I offered to go to the ED, she refused. I felt it unsafe to leave her, she would not allow me to call her mom. I ended up staying there with her. She seemed better the next day - but, to this day I have NEVER seen anyone vomit to that degree.

Well, so it goes and a few weeks later - she asks me to accompany her as she was having surgery for some type of massive infection in the bones of her skull. Anyway, I did (she was isolated, family far away) and the surgeon came out and informed me that my "sister" (oh, yeah - at this point I had seen more red flags than I care to admit. I knew something was very wrong!) had no infection ANYWHERE - and seemed so puzzled how this case had worked its way into his OR. He noted many cultures had been done by the referring MD, but that he had operated on a perfectly healthy person!

I called her mom, told her everything went well and said that if all that XXXX had been through, that maybe she would get better. I commented to her mom --- that after the cancer, chemo and now this - she sure deserved a chance at good health. Her mother almost screamed at me. "What are you talking about?!" I instantly realized that I was in the midst of a massive lie. I told her Mom that I just assumed with her weakness, and her hair and the constant vomiting - well, I assumed that it had to be cancer and I was so sorry --- her mom relayed a series of bad color jobs, several perms and an allergic reaction and THAT was why her hair all FELL OUT. I backpeddled as fast as possible and FOCUSED on getting this CRAZY "friend" to her apartment and getting far away from her!

Well, I got her home about 2am and I made sure she was very asleep and I searched that apartment. I found every drug imaginable/masses of medical supplies - you name it, also BOXES of syrup of ipecac. I made sure she was awake, with her "necessary" items and I RAN from there that next morning. Luckily, the semester break had started and I would not be back for the spring. I lived miles away and thankfully, she had never been to my house. I bought an answering machine. I took my "experience" to the nursing faculty and expressed concerns about her ability to be SAFE - bottomline, they could do nothing. She actually called 911 the next week and had me paged via fire radio - she told them she was my "sister" and it was a dire emergency! Lets, conclude that I confronted her - explained any further contact with me would result in a criminal issue. Scary. Scary. Scary.

She did graduate. I was in the hospital with my niece a few years later, I had stepped out to get my niece some ice chips and looked up and there she was at the nurses station! On a pediatric unit! She did not see me. I went to the clinical manager - I knew her, told her the "story" and encouraged her to review this "Nurse" and her care of patients. Although I had known this unit manager for some time - she never disclosed ANY specifics, but did assure me that this "Nurse" no longer worked there!

Sometimes, I wonder where she is? And has she hurt anyone other than herself? To this day - this is the one thing that haunts me! But I did do EVERYTHING that I could at the time.

But on a lighter note:

• One took a copperhead (yes, snake) into where his girlfriend worked -

"you don't love me, but this snake does" he then kissed it and it bit him.

• A young woman in a quarrel with her woman lover stabbed herself in he abdomen and ended up puncturing her diaphragm

• Any number of folks that would put things up their ho-ha or bum for any number or purposes. But, when you have seen it all -

• One guy would take a knitting needle and insert in his member, so yep, he was peeing blood and wow that "flank pain" is bad - and we were very generous with the dilaudid! Took some time to figure out the MO, but his SO rattted him out!

• One guy, (not really self inflicted) but you decide. Would always come in with vomiting and would ONLY want suppository meds - no IV, Injection - nada. So 50mg Phenergan up the bum only to have him stop me before I hit the door to let me know that "it has come out". I got a "new" one and again inserted it. And again, "came out". Well, on the third insertion - I "held" this bum cheeks together, encouraged him to relax. Well, after a few minutes I was ready to leave and he asked my if I needed to check if "it" had dissolved - I assured him I did not. He was a serial suppository offender - and I emerged to find the entire desk in a riot of laughter. It was my 1st "experience" with this patient!

Don't you just love being a nurse?

[chuck1234]

1)A hamster was found inside an anal area of a patient...He stated that he was looking for some sexual excitement.

2)A patient coming from the Riker Island was found to have two pairs of eye-glasses in his stomach....Riker Island is a name for a jail.

[RNDreamer]

wow! keep them coming...I want to be as prepared as possible for what I will/may encounter when I become a nurse :chair:

[emsjunkie.2004]

One of our patients (a male) was having an affair with a female (both were married I think), and so this female's SO came home and was about to catch them in the act...the male ended up darting out of the apartment (on the second or third floor) and jumped off the porch to the ground level and ended up breaking his leg. He then proceded to crawl/hobble to his car and drive himself to the nearest Target and calling the ambulance from there so that he wouldn't get caught by the female's SO.

[Crux1024]

Lots of things:

1) Various things up orifice:Taper candles, FDS Cans, Shampoo Bottles, Snow globes, the ever popular cucumber.

2)Drunk woman the other day had stabbed her drunk BF, with scissors, after she had cut his long hair and then proceeded to stab herself so that she wouldnt get in trouble for stabbing him.

3)Lady took Ambien at the bar, not to mention a couple shots, tried to drive home and was surprised to find herself in a tree.

People can be so bizarre sometimes!!

[ERRNTraveler, RN]

Had a guy come into the ER because his "voices" told hm to insert a firecracker into his member- and light it. He had basically filleted his member! So then, while we're waiting for urology to take him to the OR to try to fix it, he says he has to pee, so I hold a urinal underneath what's left of his member (wouldn't even know where to start with putting in a foley on this...) & he starts screaming at me that it hurts too much- well no kidding!

[rianne1117]

E.R. Male, 37: electrocution. He got electrocuted after stealing live electrical wires to sell it for its copper contents

O.R. Female, 18: ectopic pregnancy. Only claimed of "mild" abdominal pain for several days; mother kept insisting her daughter said she was still a virgin.

[blueheaven]

Was working on stepdown unit when my 80 year old male patient comes walking out to the nurses station butt naked with a towel wrapped around his member and blood dripping all the way back to his room. He looks at me mournfully an says "I think I broke it!!!!!!!!" His bathroom looked like a slaughter house and his foley was laying in the floor!!! Oh yes, he did this during visiting hours!!!

[MikeyJ, RN]

Had a guy come into the ER because his "voices" told hm to insert a firecracker into his member- and light it. He had basically filleted his member! So then, while we're waiting for urology to take him to the OR to try to fix it, he says he has to pee, so I hold a urinal underneath what's left of his member (wouldn't even know where to start with putting in a foley on this...) & he starts screaming at me that it hurts too much- well no kidding!

Oh my dear lordy!! Haha... I wonder where people get these ideas!

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

I gave up paying attention to stupid things people do. Nothing and I mean nothing surprises me anymore

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I gave up paying attention to stupid things people do. Nothing and I mean nothing surprises me anymore

I can relate. A new grad came up to me and said so and so just wheeled into the bathroom with a man...I know they're doing drugs or having sex in there...seen that a 100 times....yawn....next problem?

[danissa, LPN, LVN]

The creepiest one involved a guy who was hearing voices quoting the Bible to him...kept saying 'If thine own eye offends thee, then pluck it out'...so he did, right in our seclusion room...he kept repeating the phrase so he was on 1:1 while in seclusion, and the tech and I saw him reach up and we went for him, but he pulled it right out before we could get to him...guy never made a sound...

EEURGHHHHHHHHH! THAT IS the GROSSEST! OMG gonna be sick now! eeurgh!