Well, I was shift #7 into my orientation as a new grad RN yesterday and I decided to take my turn to vent.
Now this certainly was not the first time I had my butt ripped off and handed back to me by a doctor, but if I could have crawled in a hole and died...that would have been okay too. :uhoh21:
I feel like I really blew the moment, and I know better. I was confronted (loudly) in the middle of the hall in front of staff, visitors, God and worst of all, my coach.
Said doctor was upset that "why didn't I notify anyone how sick the patient was???!!!!" Um...I did, and that person was the pt's surgeon at 6:30am sharp when I am not on the floor technically till 6:45.
I stood there frozen when all I wanted to say was "Do I get a turn to say something here...then I would have said that someone was notified and yes I do realize how sick this patient is. My coach chimed in and set things straight...and said doctor calmed down.
My gosh! I have even in my career had a doctor tell me that I was a piece of crap LPN that didn't deserve to breathe air let alone care for his patients...his way of saying that he didn't care for LPNs...nice huh? But yesterday, I feel as if I failed. I would have rather started peeing my pants or have broken wind in front of my coach than to have what happened yesterday happen.
So here I spend today thinking about what I am gonna say next time
and believe me, it will come up again with same doctor about some other patient some other time. :trout:
I am rambling...but I had to get it out. Thanks for listening!
Specializes in Peds Critical Care, Dialysis, General.
{{{Hugs}}}
Something similiar happened to our Nurse Manager a few years ago. She was ambushed by one of intensivists (he is no longer with us ) in the middle of the hallway, with families and staff members all around. HE was the one who looked ridiculous and inappropriate - she related to me later that she'd never been more mortified in her life. The rant came from out of left field - she was speechless. She has an amazing ability to negotiate and is a terrific diplomat -but was placed in a no win situation.
Maybe it will help to know we all know how you feel
Something similiar happened to our Nurse Manager a few years ago. She was ambushed by one of intensivists (he is no longer with us ) in the middle of the hallway, with families and staff members all around. HE was the one who looked ridiculous and inappropriate - she related to me later that she'd never been more mortified in her life. The rant came from out of left field - she was speechless. She has an amazing ability to negotiate and is a terrific diplomat -but was placed in a no win situation.
Maybe it will help to know we all know how you feel
Cindy
Thanks Cindy, it helps immensely that you all know what I am talking about and how I feel, that is why I came here about this...and I had debated even saying anything. I am glad now that I did.
Don't let MD's or anyone else treat you like crap. If they get away with it once you are sunk. I don't care what kind of "reputation" this doc has. Even if you can't think of anything to say in the moment, a simple, "I'm not going to tolerate you speaking to me like that" and walking away is better than standing there and being his punching bag.
It really amazes me that even the most pompous, arrogant, obnoxious MD's know exactly who they can crap on, and exactly who they can't.
Hang in there Beary. I'm a newbie too and I've had an altercation with an MD....tried to make me feel like the lowest scum of the earth. But before I became an RN, I worked as a secretary in a large university for an MD, Chair of the department and he was the most intimidating man on earth--except to me. I always stood my ground with him and dished back to him as much as he did to me in the early days. He never could have anyone else work for him. I guess he trained me properly.
when i was a nsg student, i remember witnessing a surgeon screaming at one of the nurses on the floor.
this nurse calmly responded, " i don't think i choose to discuss this with you now " and with that, she walked away.
he was left standing there, flustered and perplexed.
as a naive student, that moment was a milestone for me.
so whenever a doctor thinks they can get away with these abuses, i remember this nurse, and quietly tell them i will not discuss it with them now....and walk away.
"I was confronted (loudly) in the middle of the hall in front of staff, visitors, God and worst of all, my coach."
I know you felt bad, but, he looked bad doing such in front of everyone instead of pulling you to the side.
You grew in a way that he probably will never grow. If it happens again, keep your cool, ask another co-worker to go with you and ask him to not speak to you in such a manner again.
Congratulations on becoming an RN!
P.S. I thought I had started a reply to this thread but do not see it.
Why make yourself feel bad, why would you rather crawl in a hole and die? Write him up, and if he ever does it again, write him up again and again, this is deplorable and I bet he knows it, just figures he can get away with it. We have an absolute zero tolerance policy that came after such an incident, but the nurse was an I Don't Take This Crap kind of person, and let it be known this is not appropriate behavior. Since we've had this policy in place we are seeing very very little of this. Even Drs have to be held accountable for their behavior.
Specializes in Flight, ER, Transport, ICU/Critical Care.
Hey there Beary -
YOU did NOT deserve this. No one deserves this - the DOCTOR that did this is an ABUSER! I'm sorry it happened - you deserve better (And I do not think it matters one iota that you were a new RN - I'm betting that you are still HUMAN!)
I'm going with Dutchgirl on this one - this HAS to be WRITTEN UP and REPORTED. And if he has a "record" he has to get the message.
And with Super Nurf - I think that workplaces that DO NOT allow it - well, it just has about STOPPED. When a MD knows that there are CONSEQUENCES - well, most STOP.
VIOLENCE TOWARD NURSES IS NOT TOLERATED.
Yep, I said it. VIOLENCE. It is verbal abuse. It is unprofessional and wrong. If you were treated like this outside the "safety" of the hospital - SOMEONE WOULD GO TO JAIL! See the AACN initiative on "Healthy Work Environments" and "Silence Kills". Those should be ENOUGH to get your managers attention.
Don't WAIT till it happens again. YOU are WORTH more than that. WE all are worth more than that! NO EXCUSES. If he can commit the offensive act - IT is his ACT to clean up or GO.
I am a strong ADVOCATE for ZERO TOLERANCE.
If YOU had been the one to yell at him - YOU can be your bottom that YOU would be the one that would be on the road. So, now what makes you "worth" less than him. That's right - NOTHING. We are all supposed to be professionals. Well, he dropped the ball or &%$#(@ the goat or whatever you want to call it. And he is what he is.
I am also a strong advocate for NURSES. No co-dependency. YOU did nothing WRONG. He owns his behavior. Let him be RESPONSIBLE for it.
And, YES, I have had my a$$ ripped from time to time. (yeah, the first time or two it happened - I stood there like you - it does not stop. Those prone to inflicting it WILL always pick the ones that they can abuse!) But, I can admit that I have NOT (and WILL NOT) allow myself to be treated in a manner that is less than PROFESSIONAL. There are RULES of CONDUCT. And I'm willing to bet that EVERY employer has a policy AGAINST - VIOLENCE IN THE WORKPLACE! And NO physicians DO NOT get a PASS.
I'm also with the Taz and silentfades on this one too! The SCORE is not as you describe. HE was put in his place - so the score is NOT in his favor. You note that you have seen him rip folks before. SO this is NOT a new behavior. Well, okay - we all get surprised from time to time. AS long as you do what you can to ensure that that you were the last victim - well, is IS YOU that will have SCORED! And EVERYONE will WIN!
AND your patients will benefit in the long run too!
YOU did NOT deserve this. No one deserves this - the DOCTOR that did this is an ABUSER! I'm sorry it happened - you deserve better (And I do not think it matters one iota that you were a new RN - I'm betting that you are still HUMAN!)
I'm going with Dutchgirl on this one - this HAS to be WRITTEN UP and REPORTED. And if he has a "record" he has to get the message.
And with Super Nurf - I think that workplaces that DO NOT allow it - well, it just has about STOPPED. When a MD knows that there are CONSEQUENCES - well, most STOP.
VIOLENCE TOWARD NURSES IS NOT TOLERATED.
Yep, I said it. VIOLENCE. It is verbal abuse. It is unprofessional and wrong. If you were treated like this outside the "safety" of the hospital - SOMEONE WOULD GO TO JAIL! See the AACN initiative on "Healthy Work Environments" and "Silence Kills". Those should be ENOUGH to get your managers attention.
Don't WAIT till it happens again. YOU are WORTH more than that. WE all are worth more than that! NO EXCUSES. If he can commit the offensive act - IT is his ACT to clean up or GO.
I am a strong ADVOCATE for ZERO TOLERANCE.
If YOU had been the one to yell at him - YOU can be your bottom that YOU would be the one that would be on the road. So, now what makes you "worth" less than him. That's right - NOTHING. We are all supposed to be professionals. Well, he dropped the ball or &%$#(@ the goat or whatever you want to call it. And he is what he is.
I am also a strong advocate for NURSES. No co-dependency. YOU did nothing WRONG. He owns his behavior. Let him be RESPONSIBLE for it.
And, YES, I have had my a$$ ripped from time to time. (yeah, the first time or two it happened - I stood there like you - it does not stop. Those prone to inflicting it WILL always pick the ones that they can abuse!) But, I can admit that I have NOT (and WILL NOT) allow myself to be treated in a manner that is less than PROFESSIONAL. There are RULES of CONDUCT. And I'm willing to bet that EVERY employer has a policy AGAINST - VIOLENCE IN THE WORKPLACE! And NO physicians DO NOT get a PASS.
I'm also with the Taz and silentfades on this one too! The SCORE is not as you describe. HE was put in his place - so the score is NOT in his favor. You note that you have seen him rip folks before. SO this is NOT a new behavior. Well, okay - we all get surprised from time to time. AS long as you do what you can to ensure that that you were the last victim - well, is IS YOU that will have SCORED! And EVERYONE will WIN!
AND your patients will benefit in the long run too!
Practice SAFE!
A long time ago, one of my co-workers called the Medical Board in Olympia, and vented about the abusive doctors. She was told, that they wished that nurses would write them up more often. This then starts a "paper trail" against a particular physician. When Doctor crosses the line, and it has come to legal action, the Medical Board has a written "record" to discipline them, and the physicians's defense attorney cannot claim that their client has an immaculate record.
Too often, nurses are afraid to report abusive physicians because of retaliation by administration, who are more concerned with the "moneymaker", and not concerned about the nurses. We are considered "expendable". Cover your @$$!
Sorry about your experience, I have had a few chunks taken out of my butt over the years (luckily I have plenty to spare:lol2:) so I feel your pain. First, and foremost the MD was WRONG, WRONG WRONG!!!!!:angryfire No one should be yelled at and put down it is demeaning and unprofessional. The fact that he did it in front of others just makes him that much more WRONG. Second, do take the time to thank your coach. over the years i've seen coaches who would not have corrected the doc and would have let stand there and get abused. Third, while i am in no way excusing what he did, try not to take it to heart and get mad every time you see the guy. I had an MD treat me badly when I first started nursing and I couldn't stand her for years, but I grudgingly respected her b/c she was a good doc and great to her pts. A few years ago she got out of a bad marriage and, lo and behold, there was a nice doc hidden inside her all the time. And even if nothing changes, if you stay angry at him you may end up saying or doing something you'll regret. Finally, if it happens again, do your best to respond calmly then write the jerk up! you shouldn't have to be treated like that.
A huge thank you to all who have replied! I am seeing more and more that this is not something to be tolerated and once again that documentation is key. I feel better about things than I did yesterday and certainly since Friday. I don't think it will do any good to live in fear everytime that doc is around. I had facts I could have reported to him and should have, but being literally backed against a wall in a hallway, it just wouldn't come out. This is violence as mentioned above and abuse, I agree.
Beary-nice
514 Posts
So true! I didn't think it would be that big of a deal...but it is and it has been. Very, very stressful indeed.