Scared to leave nursing

[nurse_982]

I apologize if this will be a long post. I just need to vent my feelings and am wondering if anyone else has ever felt the same.

Ive been a nurse for 5 years. My very first nursing job was on a med surg unit. The unit and hospital had particularly high nurse turnover. At the time, I was not in a good place in my personal life. I had a lot of anxiety and personal things I had not dealt with - the unit I was on just multiplied the anxiety. I loved the actual job, but the realities of the hospital were just too much at that time.

I left that first job after about one year. I thought I hated nursing and swore I would never work in the hospital again. I formulated my exit plan from nursing - I got a job in an outpatient clinic and started working on a masters in public health. I worked in the outpatient clinic for several years. I actually had a pretty good experience as a nurse at that job. Meanwhile, i did a lot of soul searching, worked on myself, and found myself in a better place than I was at that first job.

I decided I was not ready to give up on nursing. I ended up getting a job as a public health nurse, where Ive been working for a while now. A lot of things have changed in my personal life. I am in a way better headspace and place in life than I was as a brand new nurse.

Despite the good place im now in, I struggle a lot with trying to figure out my career path. Ive debated a lot over the past 5 years wether or not I want to be a nurse. I love helping people and I love science/medicine. I love the learning opportunities as a nurse and the flexibility of the career. On the other hand, i hate the realities of nursing. Its frustrating how hospitals are run and how little time for patient care nurses have. Even outpatient practices are like this to a degree.

I was recently accepted to a program that will allow me to change my career. Without getting in too much detail, it will allow me to learn the skills take a non-clinical role in health or public health where I can use computer programs. The potential job opportunities pay higher than nursing. I cant say I would feel as passionate about the potential job opportunities as nursing, but they would pay more and some would interest me.

Throughout my whole nursing career I have found myself, at times, wanting a way out. Now that I have a concrete way out....I am getting cold feet. Im scared to leave nursing. I love feeling like I am making a difference as a nurse. Im worried another job would not give me that fulfillment. I also feel kind of guilty for wanting to leave at times - how could i leave such a caring profession? If nurses keep leaving the profession - will there be anyone there to care for me or my loved ones if ever in need?

I also have always had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to try the hospital again, now that I am in a better headspace and place in life. Im worried that I will always have this “what if” in my mind if I change careers.

Has anyone else ever felt this fear or guilt about leaving nursing?

Anyways - I decided to make an appointment with a career counselor to help me figure all this out! So im not looking for anyone to solve my quarter life crisis.

I just wanted a space to vent and wondered if anyone else ever has felt the same about leaving nursing.

[myoglobin, ASN, BSN, MSN]

Anyone who doesn't think about leaving bedside nursing is either one of the few "chosen" by God/destiny or insane. To me the advantages of bedside are primarily three things: The ability to work three 12's and have four days off, the ability to work nights (I'm a night owl), the ability to minimize contact with management and families (working nights). Did you receive your Masters in public health? What degree are you now considering? The specifics of any opportunities would be highly dependent upon what degree you are talking about and your unique personality, and experience profile. For example I've known two nurses who have struggled to find employment after obtaining a Masters in Informatics (because although it is well paid, the need is concentrated in specific geographical areas and other issues having to do with experience). If you told me you were thinking about an MBA, I would suggest that it be combined with something in healthcare administration and more importantly that you already have some significant management experience (as this is very important when looking for administration jobs at the MBA level). Nursing education may be a good fit since it provides flexibility (you could teach online or in person) and there is a great need if it matches your interests and abilities.

[Lovethenurse2b25, ASN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

Wanting a career change is completely normal. Nursing career demands are at an all time high right now. But i would not run out just yet.

Please keep in mind all the time and effort it took you to get were you are today. I would explore other options but nursing however would always be available to me. Think about maybe pursuing a per diem nursing job. Do not let your license expire for any reason.

Best wishes and lots of prayers for your decision.

[caliotter3]

Well, if not now, when? The opportunity is in front of you now. It may never present itself again. If this new career path does not require a nursing license, you can keep your nursing license active or inactive so that you can always get a nursing job in the future should that be the circumstance in front of you. Many would love, love, love to be in your place now and they would not hesitate to make the move. Good luck.

[nurse_982]

18 minutes ago, myoglobin said:

Anyone who doesn't think about leaving bedside nursing is either one of the few "chosen" by God/destiny or insane. To me the advantages of bedside are primarily three things: The ability to work three 12's and have four days off, the ability to work nights (I'm a night owl), the ability to minimize contact with management and families (working nights). Did you receive your Masters in public health? What degree are you now considering?

Thanks for the response! Still working on MPH. Im planning on finishing it regardless of the ultimate career path. It compliments both a nursing degree and the other career options. I actually applied to the program because I felt it would be a good compliment the MPH degree. The program teaches computer coding and data manipulation. In the area I live there is a lot of opportunity for data in public health, epidemiology, research, biostatistics, etc. Im interested in those things, but trying to figure out if I am ultimately interested enough to leave nursing and pay for the program.

[nurse_982]

24 minutes ago, Lovethenurse2b25 said:

Wanting a career change is completely normal. Nursing career demands are at an all time high right now. But i would not run out just yet.

Please keep in mind all the time and effort it took you to get were you are today. I would explore other options but nursing however would always be available to me. Think about maybe pursuing a per diem nursing job. Do not let your license expire for any reason.

Best wishes and lots of prayers for your decision.

Thanks! I have thought about pursuing the new career, while getting a job where I could work an occasional weekend day as a nurse. Ive just been out of the hospital a while and only have one year of experience at the hospital, so not sure if I would be able to get a PRN job. I do think that would be a great way to follow my interest in a new career, while still getting a feeling of fulfillment from being a nurse.

[nurse_982]

8 minutes ago, caliotter3 said:

Well, if not now, when? The opportunity is in front of you now. It may never present itself again. If this new career path does not require a nursing license, you can keep your nursing license active or inactive so that you can always get a nursing job in the future should that be the circumstance in front of you. Many would love, love, love to be in your place now and they would not hesitate to make the move. Good luck.

Thanks! This reminds me of a quote I heard on a podcast this morning that went something like, “you cant swim for new horizons until you have courage to leave the shore”. And I agree that if following the new career path, it is a good idea to keep the possibility of going back to nursing in the future.

[caliotter3]

Keeping a nursing license active, or inactive, is one of the advantages of a nursing career. One can always dust their license off and find a job.

[steven007, BSN, MSN]

You are my doppelganger!

I graduated nursing in 2013 and started in a career in med/surg, floating to other units such as emerg and ICU. I lasted roughly 3 months before I left (and I didn't leave on good terms).

I accepted a position in LTC and I actually felt that it was manageable! I enjoyed LTC (believe it or not), it paid the bills and I lived a modest life. I began my masters and entered a management position at a large, mental health hospital. I love LOVED mental health! This was surprising because I hated it in undergrad, but something just clicked and I loved it and management!

I would occasionally do some "real nursing" on the side, working casually in LTC and hospitals, but I felt like I needed a change. On a whim and after watching legally blonde, I decided to apply to law school (no joke, legally blonde seriously was my motivating factor). I wrote the LSAT and applied and was accepted!

When the time come and I got my acceptance I was actually really unhappy! I was torn because I was quite content with my current job (I was working full time as a manager for a nursing unit that suited by expertise to a T), the pay was great, I was on my way to buying my own house and life was pretty good! Did I really want to put this on hold to attend another 3 years of school? Well, at the age of 27, I figured it is now or never! So I decided to go for it and that 30 something thousand I had sitting for a downpayment on a house went in one fell swoop to my tuition for law school.

I am now finished my first year of law school and going into my second year in September. While I really struggle grappling with the decision I made (you are literally putting your entire life on hold to attend this type of program, I can't buy a new car because I can't afford to make payments on it while I am in class full time, I can't buy a house because the money I save goes to my tuition and living expenses and I can't settle down because my law school is 16 hours from my home location and I have no intentions of settling down in the location where my school is. On top of that, while i am in law school, I am working casually in an area of nursing that I have absolutely no expertise in and that I am not all that fond of. That said, law school has been invaluable. I am so grateful for the experiences I have gained and for the different world view I am deveoping from it.

However, with that said, there are some other things that I think are important to note:

1. Law school (and I assume it would be the same for any non-nursing discipline) has been a real culture shock! I have been a nurse for just over 5 years. I am acclimated to nursing culture. Law students are acclimated to "law" culture and "political" culture. They tend to be more uptight and less humours. They are also more cut throat. Whereas nurses foster collaboration and collectivism, law demands an adversarial and cut throat approach. I frequently find myself missing nursing, especially nursing humour! No self-respecting law student finds it funny when you trip over the IV tubing during a blood transfusion and blood starts spraying everywhere (law students call this negligence by the way)!

2. While I appreciate the experiences and learning that I gain from my current studies, it also has made me realize that I am and will always be a nurse. You can slap a suit on me and stick me in a court room, but in the end, I will stand before the judge and be like "Your honour, you are looking very pale and clammy, do you have any cardiac issues? Does anyone have an asprin?!"

But in all seriousness, I like law, I love the opportunities I have with it and I am grateful I decided to do it. But in the end, I know that I will stick with nursing and combine law in whatever way I can, but my primary focus will always be nursing. Nursing has been a good fit for me as a person. Nursing has made me the person that I am and it is nursing that ultimately is paying for my education. And despite the fact that I am not a huge fan of the type of nursing I do while I am in school, I am so grateful to my co-workers there. It was my co-workers who held a birthday party for me, not my classmates. It was my co-workers who held a going away party for me when I moved back home during the summer, not my classmates. It was my co-workers who wished me luck and all my exams, not my classmates (in law, your classmates tend to try and psych you out). It was my coworkers who let me leave an hour early because they knew I had an exam in 2 days, not my classmates. Nursing is the greatest career and nurses are the greatest people I could ask for! And I am forever greatful to be a part of it.

I would say, do any additional education you can! Regardless of whether it is nursing or not, it will never be a burden to nursing. Nursing is so multidimensional that you can combine almost any other discipline and make it work with nursing. It is normal to feel contention about the discipline and think you want to leave, and for some they do! But as a curious anecdote, I know of an antoher nurse who went to law school. After practicing law for a couple of years they ended up coming back to the profession! I think nursing is a hard discipline to quit. Sure, there is caddyness and sometimes bullying, but the good always outweighs the bad and for every ***y nurse there are 2 who are holding your hand and offering you guidance.

Sorry, this has turned into a long rant! Best of luck with whatever you chose!

[guest464345]

My story has some similarities to yours....5+ years of nursing experience now, started out in ER with a brief stint in med-surg, followed by disillusionment with the hospital after about a year. I moved to public health (epidemiology). After a while I also thought I should give the hospital another try.

I stayed part time in public health and worked two shifts/week in the ED. Like you, I figured that I was in a much better headspace than I had been as a new nurse - and I was! Working in the hospital on that go-round was considerably different....it was another big trauma center but this time I didn't have the terrible beginner's anxiety, plus the coworkers and environment were a better match. I did well, I liked the patients very much, and I worked hard but wasn't freaked out all the time. HOWEVER: hospital nursing is hospital nursing, and for many reasons I'd rather not do it. I'm a school nurse now.

I've had two previous careers (a social worker, and a language interpreter). Each profession has had pros and cons. I certainly wouldn't stay in any profession out of guilt or fear. Despite what you might read on these boards, nursing is a job, not a moral calling....there are many interesting and useful jobs out there.

I say, do what you want! Keep your nursing license up until you have a few years in your new profession and are certain about it :) I just let my social work license go on the 5th anniversary of becoming a nurse.

[UrbanHealthRN, BSN, RN]

Oh my gosh I am right there with you, nurse_982. Literally- read my latest post. I definitely can't make up your career mind for you, so it's great to hear that you're seeing a career counselor about this.

From the MPH side of things, I will say that this additional data/coding program sounds awesome, and will give you tons of opportunity in the world of public health.

I agree with other posters about not feeling like you have to completely choose one or the other at this point- you don't have those other degrees yet, so why not keep on working as a nurse for now, maybe just per diem? At the very least, it could be helpful having a nursing job with a flexible schedule while you're also trying to get through school. And don't forget- nurses come in all shapes, sizes, and specialities, and they're all great, including public health nurses like you!

Anyways, I wish you lots of luck with whatever you choose to pursue.

[Green Tea, RN]

I have three years of experiences (med-surg and OR) in nursing, and I'm getting ready to the exit. I am in a program (master's degree in a STEM field), and I will be out of nursing in a year. I'm excited to be out. I have no guilt at all. I know plenty of nurses are out there. It's not nurse shortage, but just hospitals cannot retain nurses because what they care is only profits.