Roll call...status call...

[MizChelleRN]

Let's try this....what kind of information should we be looking for? i am curious who/how many nurses we have around here, what state we are from, and whether we are working or not, what field of work our nurses are in, Something like a check-in...like this:

I'm Michelle, from Ohio. Sobriety date 4/17/2009. In Alternative program. Got my license back (with restrictions) November 2009 (lost my license the morning of the sobriety date) and currently not employed, but actively seeking.

Actually I am in talks with a possible job oppurtunity, in dialysis, should know by this week. What other information would you like to see listed in this check in? I think it might help others know, how long you looked for a job before you found one, how long it took for you to get your license back, what fields are recovery friendly, idk....maybe this is a silly idea. Let's see how it goes. xo Michelle

[MizChelleRN]

Thanks for sharing Dixiecup, I'm curious though, do you consider yourself an addict? It actually sounds like you NEED the medications, needed them when you diverted them, use them to this day exactly as ordered...it doesn't sound like you abuse them., like I did.

I fear that being my story in life, that one day I will be reliant on the meds that I am addicted to...but how realistic is that!? I'm sure my gall bladder will have to come out one day...hell, I still have my tonsils! I can't fear being on pain medication ever again, but I know that for me, one pill or one shot will snowball very quickly. I started my career as an addict NEEDING the meds, had a complicated surgery and series of postop infections...was unable to clear the line between needing and just wanting the drugs. (I'm not referring to your story anymore, Dixie, no worries)

I'm telling you guys too, I might be new and in training at my job, but dialysis feels like the way to go. No narcs on site, still dealing with patients, families, docs, other disciplines, still keeping some skills fresh (its very technical and your assessment skills are still in use) plus I get that little boost of self importance from being a leader on the team (maybe I need to consider my humility here, but I do get a little validation being in charge). I did get a call about a research nurse position too, which probably wouldnt be my cup of tea but still.

I guess it's interesting though...how one's past experiences may pave the way to their futures. Maybe I was meant to have been in med-surg/renal/diabetic ed so that when I needed to make a change, dialysis would be my fit. I mean, I was already facing several strikes against me with the diversion,etc but my experience in renal nursing probably helped me land my position. So maybe there is an avenue the rest of you can take, if you kind of map out what you already know and take it from there?

[Dixiecup]

That's the thing. I DO need the meds. But the BON doesn't care about that. Diverting is diverting, they don't care about the reason and whatever the reason it is still wrong and I take full responsiblity for having done it.

It seems like the system just doesn't work sometimes and people get desperate. That is what happened to me.

I do NOT consider myself an addict. I have been taking scheduled pain meds for years now and if I would for some reason not have them for a few days or even longer, I have NO withdrawl symptoms whatsoever. What I do have is pain.

[luvche]

That is the catch 22. In our peer program, if you have a medical condition the requires you to be on narcotics/benzos/other drugs of abuse long term or permanently...you can not take part in the program. Then you have to go before the board. You can do the board's program...but the board releases you to peer once you finish their program...and then you are on same boat again!

[Rascal1]

I'm from CT. with a sobriety date of July 5, 2008. Alcohol was my demon.

I placed myself in detox./rehab. in July 4,2008, after being fired from my

job of 4 years for continual absences related to my drinking.

I did not lose my license and found a new job in January 2009 but was

terminated after 2 months due to "not meeting the job requirements".

And I found another job lasting 1 month in which that job was not a

good fit for me.

I'm still sober, on unemployment and looking for work again trying to

compete with a younger generation with newer skills! Any words of

advice ? ?

[Grateful RN]

I am in the same boat....looking for work since May 2010. It is tough, and even when employers have no idea I am in a diversion program, I do not get selected for interviews. I can tell you the most recovery friendly places tend to be long-term care/rehab, dialysis, MDS or Utilization Review nursing. Dont give up, it does take time but with persistence you will find the right fit for a job:) Hope this helps.

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

Hey all - I'm Anne from NE Louisiana. I've been a nurse since 1991, working mostly in ER. I am an addict, was caught after diverting at work on a medical unit. I joined our state RNP in August of 1999.

So grateful for my recovery and the chance I was given to go back to work. I started having some health problems approx 3 yr ago, and had to have cardiac surgery at Oschners in New Orleans, La. I had the surgery June 30, 2009, and have beed doing fairly well since, but have not been able to go back to work. By the time the docs were able to find my problem, it had started to damage my lungs and I started to have seizures and episodes of syncope.

Been seizure free since March 28, 2009 thankfully. It really gave me a wake up call about how my patients that had seizures felt. I just felt so out of control, the time frame during the seizure activity was just a blank. I even argued with the EMTs when they arrived, that "No, I didn't have a seizure. I've never had one." Thank goodness I didn't have to take meds for it, just no driving for 6 months after seizure activity.

My hubbie has been a Godsend through all of it. He is also an RN and is a nsg sup at one of our larger hospitals. He has been one of the things that still keeps me sane, along with our 12 yr old son. (Well, I'm stepmom, but mom is barely in the picture- blows off visitation 99 percent of the time.)

I also have 3 canine babies - Sissie, a mini weinie, Bea, a part beagle, and Oscar, a part weinie part rott.

Hope all has a great day - I'm so glad u guys are here with me!

Anne :paw::paw::paw:

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

Hi everyone!

My sober birthday is 4-23-2004. I had an intervention at work, the BON sent me to treatment then PEER and I am grateful for every second of it all. I LOVE LOVE LOVE sober life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sissykim]

I am Kim in NC.

I am practicing as an RN and FNP-C

lost income, has cost me to rethink the importance of life.

I did not loose my license but they are on probation for a year without restrictions

I have lost my home to foreclosure.

I did not realize the results of my actions.

Sober since May 2010.

I like it, hard times makes me hate sobriety.

Girls got to do what a girls got to do.

[RNZenpeaceful]

My name is Lisa. My sobriety date is December 28, 2004. I live in a suburb near Phialdephia. My license was suspended for 3 years after I self-reported my addcition to opiates. I was in the Voluntary Recovery rogram and was allowed to work on the IV team (instead of the ER) while in this porgram. But I was an idiot, and decided to supplement the part-time IV team job by working for a staffing agency, which is not allowed under the terms & conditions of the VRP. I began to divert narcotics again, and this time I was caught. No criminal charges were filed, but I lost my license for the 3 years. During this time, I found contract positions in Drug Safety. I had a 2 year contract with Merck and worked shorter contracts with other companies. The pay was about the same as I was making as a nurse-and MUCH easier work! Now I am in the Disciplinary Monitoring Program and on probation for 3 years-have 11 months to go! I am working in a dialysis clinic. I must say that I have never worked s hard in my life for so little pay-no complaining, just telling it like it is. Believe me, I am VERY grateful for this job. I am a single parent with a chronic disease and almost lost the house, have creditors calling all the time with my ruined credit, have lost serveral close friends who apparently were disgusted when they found out about my addiction, and have felt very close to suicide on more than one occasion. My addiction doctor calls me "a miracle" becasue I managed to keep it all together despite all odds being against me.

Good luck to anyone in this hellish situation!

[janaRNWV]

Hi, My name is Jana, I'm a 38 year old recovering opiate addict from WV.

I began my journey to addiction with chronic pain, and used my pain meds responsible...until I didn't any more. I'd like to say that I know when and why I crossed the line, but that's the $25,000 question for all of us, isn't it? I was snorting approximately 200 mg/day of hydrocodone--so of course my script was gone in a few days. I was buying pills. Then, I started sneaking "supplements" from my patients, finally culminating with IV waste diversion.

I self-reported to my Nurse Manager because I started hearing whispers from co-workers and I knew that I would be better off if I self-reported--I couldn't bear to sit around and wait for my boss to call me into her office to fire me. I reported to my boss on 7-27-10 and was forced to resign that day. I went to the BON the next day, 7-28-10, which is also my sobriety date. My license is currently inactive, I'm working as an unskilled caregiver for two elderly patients. For minimum wage. :smackingf

The GREAT NEWS: I have never felt better. My pain is under control, I'm a good mom again, I've learned to live very happily on very little, and I have made some amazing friends in my Nurse Support Group. I meet with my BON next Monday to discuss my contract to go back to work supervised. My old boss contacts me regularly to check up on me and people have been very supportive of my recovery.

I've been clean for only a few months and my journey thru the INTP (Impaired Nurse Treatment Program in WV) is just beginning, but this has already been amazing--I'm so grateful I got a second chance at LIFE!

[jackstem]

OUTSTANDING!!!

Jack

[sunset2010]

hi lisa...(RNZenpeaceful)...i wanted to ask you what the disciplinary monitoring program in Pa. is like? I was in a voluntary prog. in my residing state that i completed in June 2010 but Pa. wouldn't accept that and are making me do their DMP now....I am suppose to hear tomorrow of what i exactly have to do....i go to my meetings every week anyways, but i just wondered the prof. nurses mtg. i don't have any close to me i looked online and none listed, did they require you too do those also or could you just do your weekly mtgs.? Looking forward to your reply. Thanks.