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So, we really need a place to log the ridiculous reasons some kids have to get out of class and come see the nurse. You know, those pressing medical problems like, "my lips hurt." I had that one today.
Earlier this year I had a student come see me because she had a hair on her tongue!!
Somewhere there is a teacher giving these kids a clinic pass for these visits!
What are the crazy reasons to see the nurse at your clinic??
While helping another student outside of the health office, a 3rd grader found a teacher to locate me so he could ask me for saltines. I asked what happened to his snack and he said that he didn't like what his mom packed. I told him that I am not the vending machine and go eat what his mom gave him. Really?? Health office not cafeteria....
Student: "My friend told me to come see you because I have been shaky for 3 days."
Uhhhhhhh. Me: "Did you eat today?"
Student: "Yeah."
Me: "Well consider yourself checked then!! Off you go!"
Student: "Well my friend wanted you to look at this bruise on my arm, too."
Assess bruise student got from MMA fighting class. It's old and big, but healing.
Student: "Can you do anything for this bruise? Like make it go away?"
Me: "Your body is doing that all on it's own."
Student: "Oh. Well my wrist hurts, too" Student is moving his wrist in ALL planes of motion with no hesitation, no swelling, no bruising, no crepitus, doesn't remember a specific injury.
Student: "I think I need a brace for my wrist"
Me: "Nope. If I am putting brace on you, that means you are headed to the hospital to get x-rays, and I don't think we are quite at that point."
Student: "Oh. Well my friend thought I should get that checked out, too. I guess I'll go back to class now."
Me: "Good idea! Thanks for stopping by!"
Student: My nose hurts
Me: Well, that is an impressive pimple you have on there!
Student: But, it hurts when I touch it.
Me: Well, can you use some deductive reasoning to figure out a solution? (8th grader).
Another one:
Student: Can I get a new shirt?
Me (checking student for dress code violations): What do you need a shirt for?
Student: My friend said that this one does not match very well.
2nd grade girl: My lip hurts.†(Small mark. No bleeding.)
Me: Why does it hurt?â€
Girl: Well, my eraser wasn't working on my pencil so I took it off. Then I forgot and I scraped my lip with the metal on the pencil.â€
Me: I gave her ice to put on her lip.
Girl: Do you want me to stay in here for awhile?â€
Me: No, I think you are fine.â€
Today was a long day with real issues so I just had to laugh when a little 3rd grader came in because she got yogurt in her shoe during lunch. I thought about getting annoyed for the silly visit and instead praised her for even bringing yogurt for lunch. Didn't do anything about the show though.
Student: "My friend told me to come see you because I have been shaky for 3 days."Uhhhhhhh. Me: "Did you eat today?"
Student: "Yeah."
"It could be my anxiety. I always get shaky from that. And my friend wanted you to check me out." Me: "Well consider yourself checked then!! Off you go!"
Student: "Well my friend wanted you to look at this bruise on my arm, too."
Assess bruise student got from MMA fighting class. It's old and big, but healing.
Student: "Can you do anything for this bruise? Like make it go away?"
Me: "Your body is doing that all on it's own."
Student: "Oh. Well my wrist hurts, too" Student is moving his wrist in ALL planes of motion with no hesitation, no swelling, no bruising, no crepitus, doesn't remember a specific injury.
Student: "I think I need a brace for my wrist"
Me: "Nope. If I am putting brace on you, that means you are headed to the hospital to get x-rays, and I don't think we are quite at that point."
Student: "Oh. Well my friend thought I should get that checked out, too. I guess I'll go back to class now."
Me: "Good idea! Thanks for stopping by!"
BIG LIKEY for "crepitus"!
I had FOUR kids come to the clinic faking CONCUSSIONS yesterday. These children are now faking HEAD INJURIES! What is this world coming to?
I asked my daughter if there's a concussion symptom flyer being passed around school.
If I disappear from the boards it's because I've been fired for sending 4 children with head injuries back to class. But, mysteriously, they are all back in class and perfectly fine today. I've seen them giggling and goofing off this morning. And dare I mention the faked broken leg on Monday? Did I see a full moon last night??
Windchaser22
408 Posts
Yesterday the health office was stuffed all day. Allergies are bad this year, inhaler use in the kids with asthma is rampant. Numerous playground scrapes and bumps. Plus I had two with low sugars and another diabetic with a recently fractured radius who was running high. Triaging the room at one point I get to one girl who told me she was there because she was thirsty. I guess I'm the only place in the building with potable water.