Resigning

[hazyblue]

I know and I have always received advice not to burn any bridges when you quit your job but I'm really very conflicted right now. I know that you're not suppose to write abrasive things to your employer but I feel like if I don't write the true reason of my resignation (which is very critical of the system), I will be the "problem". Granted that my reactions may not be the best, I believe that it's not unusual.

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What will you people do, if you're taken under, let's just say, some-kind of a bridging course to be a nurse, and not once did you receive any actual training to be a nurse?

Me, I accepted the fact. I understood the situation. I have to pay my dues as an ancillary care staff. I made myself think that they'll eventually have to give me training that is due if I pass the local nursing exam and, I am so passing that exam.

What will you do if you've already passed the local nursing exam and has been given license to practice but still you weren't started/included in the hospital's training program?

At first, I waited. I patiently waited. Then, I found out that other areas provide training/preceptors to their trainees even if they haven't passed the nursing exam yet. I eventually complained and some things did change. However, as a nurse with experience before coming to this employment, I knew that that is not how nurse training works. I complained again. I had thrown in phrases like "if you're not going to let me work as a nurse then at least transfer me." I didn't want to swallow my pride working under people who aren't nice.

Eventually, I stopped bothering to continue studying nursing. I couldn't even bother to improve my local language skills. I just saw no point anymore. The closest contact that I could get with a patient is when I change diapers. Who needs in-depth nursing knowledge on that? The longest discussion I could have is when I'm handing out food and it's not really lengthy because you have to do other stuff to. Who needs native level language skills with that? Anyway, I just see no point in working hard.

Now, apparently, I have this image as an indifferent/lazy person who doesn't know how to persevere. I feel like I have to address this in my resignation letter. I am not working hard enough?! Why do they think that I passed the freaking local nursing exam? By my inborn intelligence alone? Oh, f- no. I want to remind them that they barely supported us "trainees". I was crying forcing myself to study after our heavy workload. I don't understand. You can't just **** on people's dreams and effort and expect them to jump through hoops for you. Okay, maybe I've developed that bad habit of clocking in and out exactly on time, but it's not like I'm a real nurse now. What's the point? I do the tasks assigned of me better than the actually ancillary staff. Okay, I'm not better at everything but I can say that I'm the only one who thoroughly cleans toilets when I'm on duty. Besides, I feel like if I do put in an effort in being a diligent employee, it will give them an idea that I am okay with the things that they are doing to me. I am not okay. Even the law should say that it's not okay.

Maybe they find me unenthusiastic because I'm not interacting frequently with others during break time and such. What? What?! You expect me suck up to people who are treating me like I'm a lesser human being? Sure, I don't think faking niceness is a bad thing anymore but I believe that even faked niceness must only given to people who a properly fake nice to you.

What would you do if after all those things, your chief nurse (and the like) told you that you aren't being discriminated. What would you do if you told you're feelings of not being a real nurse to your chief nurse and the response you get is "This is (enter country's name)." Then she adds, "how come the other foreign nurses are doing fine as nurses?"

"Well, I highly doubt it that they are made to wash soiled sheets in their floors!" I told her not. That was a fact though. At that point I was just feeling so low that a part of me was thinking that it is my fault.

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This has gotten long that I forgot my original intent...Oh, yeah. I was thinking of writing the real reason why I am resigning and the thing is that the aforementioned ones are just one part of the many reasons. I think that if I write everything that I could remember, I would definitely exceed one page. How about you people? Has anyone been honest with their resignation letter?

[hazyblue]

Thank you people for reinforcing the truth that higher ups don't really care. This gives me the strength to resign as soon as possible. I was going to wait longer because my chief nurse (DON) has asked me to participate in a research thing. However, if no one cares about me, I should at least care about myself.

Again sorry to those who seem to be annoyed by "unprofessionalism" in this post. I just feel so strongly about this. This thing isn't just your ordinary inconsiderate employer-disgruntled employee for me. This is me trying to find justice against discrimination. This isn't my first time working outside of my native country and this isn't the first time that I have experienced discrimination but, with the way things go around here, I won't have it. Just because they are very polite while demeaning us doesn't make it okay. Our countries our supposed to be allies for crying out loud.

[caliotter3]

Better to get it out here than to actually send such a letter and accomplish nothing but self harm. Next time, write it all out then put it away. You never know how things on the internet can be traced to, and identified with, you.

[Sour Lemon]

It sounds as though you're being underutilized and upset because of it? ...like being assigned only CNA duties after being hired as an RN?

Your post really is confusing beyond that.

[jodispamodi]

Hazy Blue, no worries with the long post and I dont think its unprofessional, just one of the hazards with the internet is, its impossible to get the full picture, you know what situations you're talking about but even with innuendo we don't... all I can tell from your post is that you seem extremely frustrated over a work situation and that it feels unfair, and that maybe you think race is playing a part?

I can say this, in the many years I've worked in healthcare with people from all parts of the world, all were pretty much treated the same, sometimes someplaces just suck. I worked at a place where I was offered a promotion and then kept in my same position at the same pay while others were doing the role I was supposed to be doing.

I've worked for companies and facilties that treated their employees horribly, I've fought the windmills and the monsters, nothing changed. Management and higher ups really do not care about their employees opinions of their workplaces because they never see themselves as the problem. They usually will never take the employees side unless its something like a sex harrassment accusation employee to employee. Otherwise they would sell you down the river quickerthanthis. I've complained to labor boards about unpaid wages, unpaid overtime and won, but other than that and short of blatant discrimination, unless you have a contract that spells out every little thing, theres not much that can be done. If you strongly feel the need to tell them how you're feeling then do so, but go in with your eyes wide open and know that most likely when you do that, you will have brought attention on yourself and your littlest misdeed might result in discipline and termination, sorry but thats jmho.

[vanilla bean]

@ vanilla bean and all of alllnurses.com

Sorry. I usually just internalize all these things alone but you can only be alone for a limited amount of time before you start crying everyday. I tried talking about this with "friends" but you know what I got in response? "Just accept the fact that, as a person belonging to my race, I am an inferior being wherever I go.

Hazyblue, anyone telling you that you are "an inferior being" because of your race is *not* your friend. I'm sorry you're feeling so isolated and alone. Is going back to your home country and back to your family (and core group of people who care about you) an option? Can you earn a living there?

Again sorry to those who seem to be annoyed by "unprofessionalism" in this post.

People are reacting to the question you asked: should you share the thoughts in your post with your employer in your letter of resignation. The consensus so far seems to be a "no" and that's the situation that people are replying to as being unprofessional. You are entitled to your thoughts and feelings about your current situation and your employer, we are simply telling you that to share those thoughts and feelings *with your employer*, the way you have here, would be unprofessional.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

They don't care. They will only use your letter to prove what a horrible employee you were (true or not). Don't give them the ammunition.

[JKL33]

I know that you're not suppose to write abrasive things to your employer but I feel like if I don't write the true reason of my resignation (which is very critical of the system), I will be the "problem".

Everything else aside, this ^ is the mistake in your thinking. You do not become the problem by not informing them of reasons for your resignation. For the sake of this discussion, let us agree that you have been treated unfairly. Well, guess what? When employers treat employees unfairly they already know they are doing so. Sad fact. People/entities whose responsibilities revolving around staffing a place 24/7 get very good at knowing what kinds of things make people stay or leave. Additionally, one could technically say their job isn't necessarily to be "fair" to any given individual, but to do what is best for their organization on the whole. Like it or not, your information isn't going to be news to them such that "if only more people told them..." they would fix the problem.

So, no, you don't become the problem by walking away, or by doing it without giving feedback.

You need to write a basic, 100% professional resignation letter. There is an infinitesimally small chance that someone will contact you and say, "Hazyblue, I'm so disappointed to learn of your resignation! Is there a problem you haven't told us about?" In which case you will have your opening to share a concise and professional statement.

[hazyblue]

It sounds as though you're being underutilized and upset because of it? ...like being assigned only CNA duties after being hired as an RN?

Your post really is confusing beyond that.

That's about it. And more . (Oh I'm not really during CNA work. I just decided to use the word ancillary to distance the facts and keep anonymity.)

I wish my workplace just sucked in a common way. I can now say that this job is the end of my nursing career. I've always thought that the end will be me completely succumbing to mental illness but no. Well, I suppose that I could always return to my homeland and do a refresher course and find another job but given the competition in my country it would be very difficult. Not with this dark spot on my resume. Did I mention that my current workplace doesn't hand out letter of recommendations even to nice employees? My senior who is from the same country as I am never complained not even once and she's good at PR but still no recommendation for her, not even a reference letter. I just remembered that it was because of this (the refusal for referencing) that I even started to entertain the thought of confronting my employers/heads. I mean, why bother keeping the bridge?

@ JKL33

Funny, I did say, right in this forums, to another miserable worker that he/she should not bother talking to his/her manager about her issues because that manager does know and is just choosing to ignore said issues.

I don't know why I feel so strongly about my present situation. I don't know why I feel that I must shake up things. People have endured before me, why can't I do the same. Maybe it's indeed because I'm so isolated. When I try to talk to my family, they keep on telling me that the world is filled with bad employers and that even if I quit this job, I might just end up with another one. But the thing is that my previous employer can be considered a bad employer but never did they make me clean toilets. When I try to talk to my friends... scratch that. I won't even attempt to talk to these friends. That friend who told me to just accept that I'm an inferior being happens to be of the same nationality as I am.

*sigh* I should have taken the high suicide rate in this country as a red flag. Fun fact, they also discriminate the pure-blooded descendants of emigrants who returned to the country.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Now is not the time to air your grievances. They do not give a rat's patooti anyway.

Exit gracefully, and you will have the advantage in the long run. You will need their reference.

Best wishes, let us know how it's going.

[hazyblue]

Since I was asked for an update (and since I'm procrastinating on my chores), I thought that I'll do so.

It turned out that there was no need for me to ponder on what to include in my resignation later. They had this resignation form including a choice of reasons for you to check. Unfortunately, "You made a fool out of me." wasn't included. í ½í¸œ (There was a space for "others" though as if anyone will dare write something personal on that.)

I did let some grieviances slip out (in a calm manner) because the HR was "trying" to talk me out of it. At this point, it was known that I was quiting and that I intend to work in some small facility far, far away. She told me that it's a bad move if I want to improve on my nursing skills and such in this country. I told the HR person that this small facility isn't going to make me clean toilets. She stopped "convincing" me to change my mind. í ½í¸ƒ

I'm in that small facility now. It's a chronic care facilty of which I have no experience. The salary offered was a big slap to my face but I accepted it because I'm desperate to leave my job but I can't exactly go home. (I mean I can no longer do documentation in English.) Also, the system is terrible if there is a system at all. I haven't really received an orientation. I practically only browsed the orientation manual and that was my idea. My supposed direct supervisor isn't exactly a leader. I was made to handle patients by myself and when I had misses because of the complete change

and lack of awareness (of what the hell is going on), I can only blame myself.

Basically, my new workplace isn't beginner friendly. I/We apparently have to learn things by ourselves. I feel so sorry for this one newly graduated nurse who was made to handle 8 patients on ventilators of which 2 were unstable. I felt sad for her when she got a whole lot of blame for one death. She wants to quit nursing now. As for me, I'm still not over the heartbreak from my previous work so I'm only a little fazed by the current events.

That's about it. Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to browse this site for tips on working in chronic care/long term/rehabilitation facilities. I have to review something as simple as time management. @_@

[klone, MSN, RN]

Wherever you go, there you are.

Good luck.