hazyblue

Actually, ending up in long term care was the result of my attempt to leave hemodialysis which I absolutely...well not absolutely really... hated. I feel like I've already wasted enough time trying to find the field for me in nursing... at this point, I'm just hating on it. ... I forgot what other thing I was going to reply to because I'm starting to have some sort of ptsd now. (ETA: Excuse, the use of ptsd but I'm not in the best place to think of words at the moment.)

Thank you for the reply people. I was planning doing nursing assistant work in some northern Canada province.... Yes, I am burned out. I am currently in Long Term Care. All I have done so far is save some money.

I feel crazy for thinking this and feel the need to look for other peole with the same thinking. I'm done with nursing ages ago but it's the only field I have skills in so I stuck with it. I know that there's always the option to switch fields within nursing but that's easier said than done. I'm just tired of the demand to be a robot/saint on a field that I couldn't care less about anymore. I just want to save some money and pursue an engineering field. I've taught about doing nursing assistant work because they have less people to deal with and it feels more socially acceptable for them to dump whatever to nurses. I'm also considering being a cleaning staff and the like. I just can't be a robot anymore.

I like to think that I criticize constructively. I've been taught to keep such conversations privately. One time however I wasn't able to refrain from airing my negating opinion to my nurse colleague in front of many. My nurse colleague was on her usual micromanaging of auxiliary staff that day. That day she decided to enforce a practice that I found to be a waste of our staff's precious time resource. So, next thing I knew, I've asked her "Will she be willing to help the auxiliary staff when they get overwhelmed? Will she be willing to do overtime for her unfinished nursing task because she was hand on another?" and the like. The next thing I know, I'm a bully. My resting face does appear like a huge B and I don't have the nicest voice either. What could I have done better?

LOL. It's okay. Some members of the expat community here like to joke about it too. White people be like excited to be discriminated for the first time and stuff. I would had liked to think those things too but, with the way things were done way before, it's all conflicting. That and I saw her passive-aggressively erasing another nurse from the roster before. She did have her fair share of "handful" people so I can see where she's coming from. However, since I had been making an effort, it hurts to that she groups me with those people. We don't do direct conversations here. Technically, you can. It is even encouraged but no. Sure there are people you can talk directly with but no. lol I remember one of our unlicensed help getting lambasted for reporting a death using the word dead. I did have some kind of talk with my manager and I did got back in a way. I wouldn't dare ask her directly if she assumed that I'm going AWOL because the others did. The reason why I'm asking complete strangers is because I believe that despite cultural and physical differences we all operate under the same law of nature. Also, is it so wrong to have a wider view of things? Asking strangers prevents me from being narrow-minded when reading situations. Well after some pros and cons, I've decided to resign. Since I've been anal with receiving treatment I'm physically way better. Thanks.

It's more of I'm questioning why that long, why a month especially when my doctor is confident. I suppose I'll think the same as @Rose_Queen that my manager just like to think well ahead. Way ahead. Planning for the worst case scenario.

My doctor's note has a date specified on it... It's not just the erasure, the way she changed the other nurses schedule to relieve me during nights is very final. I won't dare approach management about this even if that's the best option for my mental health. Not to mention that I lost my argument when I did ended up taking more absences thanks to the effects of my stressing over this. We don't use English here but the way the note was written is that I could work but I just need two more days off for some diagnostic tests to rule out some things (just to be safe). This is why I think the rest of the month is excessive. I mean this is a country wherein, in many cases, people still work despite suffering from more debilitating reasons and here they're making me take a whole month off. In my company, it's more than five absences actually but I still provided a note. I'm not working in the US. And, in this country, foreigners just deal with biases out of respect for the culture (of racism). That last one's a joke. It's not racism if you are discriminated with respect. ?

I didn't dare to directly point out the erasure so I just remarked about a "third" nurse being assigned on (my) night shifts. Night shift here is always limited to two nurses irregardless of the census. She told me that I could have less burden from work that way. The reason why I didn't dare to talk about the erasure is because I have the feeling that she already erased me from the roster before I submitted my doctor's note. When I submitted it, she told me I could take more days off exceeding what was written. On contrary, I never even complained about being bullied and not receiving a quarter of a decent orientation when I started here. I never complained about not receiving an equal workload. I didn't even fight for a salary that's worth my education. I made it a point not to be a handful and maybe that is the reason why I'm so upset with being erased. My manager erasing me/my assignments means she's putting me on the same level as those "handful" people. I'm extra upset because I know that they (not just my manager/head nurse) have a tendency to do that out of biased views against my race. Now before you start thinking that I'm just a super stressed nurse with warped views, let me tell you that they don't even bother to keep their bias a secret.

I'm not. I'm sorry if I appear that way. I just originally wanted to ask if people will erase a staff nurse (who has been absent for three to four days due to stomach pain) from the duty roster for the whole month. Unfortunately for me I couldn't help but be emotional and sort of rant.

Sorry. Yes, this is me. I wrote the first part in that manner because I wanted to know if other people would do such a thing too. Who am I kidding? I did the first part in third person because I wanted to dissociate with that part of my life. I still do. I don't want to rewrite it. As I've said, i get chest pains. Sorry. It's okay. You don't have to give your opinion on it.

Thanks for words. Now that I think about I was supposed to ask for something here but I forgot. Yet you people still shared some words. Again thank you.

No, it's not even a whole week. As a matter of fact, aforementioned staff made an effort to personally submit a doctor's note around the third/fourth day. The note said T/C peptic ulcer. Said staff asked for two more days off due to scheduled diagnostic tests. While said staff looks kind of pale that day, she sure can walk around. She's no longer in pain. In fact she feels like she can return back to sooner rather than later. Will you erase her, wipe out her shift for the rest of the month? Won't you wait for her final diagnosis after her tests?

Yeah. Kind of. I don't intend to pretend to be a new graduate though. I don't have to. I'm probably worse. Let's just say that I made one bad decision around five years ago that led to me having a somewhat-PTSD reaction to mops at present. One reason why I want to just get rid of the last five years or so from my work history is that they don't really give recommendation/reference letters here (where I'm at). I'll probably have to do some hardcore sucking up to get one and my pride just refuses that. I've already swallowed so much pride to get away from mops. ...Now that I think about it even if I do eat my pride and convince them to write me a letter, what are they going to write? ? There's not much to go to when you came from mops... So, I really need to study and practice, again.

Hello. I'm supposed to be a nurse with 8+ years of experience but thanks to my sad choices those years don't really count. I'm thinking between giving up nursing for good or starting over again. I was thinking of aiming for Canada since nurses seems to have lots of options over there. Ideally, I want go at least as far as having a Master's Degree. I'm also considering Germany because it seems to be the cheaper option. I guess what I'm trying to get out of this thread are thoughts of which countries are most viable for a 30 y/o something school returnee. Will there be a job after? Is it stress free to work part time? Anybody here done this? How was your experience? At first, I've thought of refresher courses. I've been searching for refresher courses in my home country (Philippines) because that's supposed to be the decision that makes the most sense but we don't really have those programs. Hospitals offer training but only for the ones they'll consider to hire. Being one of those people is difficult for someone who knows no one like me. Even if I do manage to be considered. I don't want to be tied to a contract. Also, there's this fact that I want to erase the last 5 years (OMG it's been 5 years) from my experience. I've also looked into UK. It turns out that they're done with their ONP and that I could actually get licensed over there even if I delete the last five years of my experience. I've considered getting licensed and availing their refresher course but that just sounds weird. I was going to consider US but I don't think the country is open to foreigner anymore. Is it not? Thanks. I know this is too broad and a little directionless so thanks in advance for those who reply.

? Going to be. Taking the day off doesn't have an effect anymore. Leisure activities will be good for half a day or so. Since last month or was it the last, I've caught myself reprimanding one or two clients. Thankfully, I still have it in me not to commit abuse. Still, this week I was at the point of crying in front of one client, I was tempted to slam my head on a wall (twice or more), I actually went down on the floor for almost a minute that one time, and I was very tempted to call out my colleague for her BS. Most of my work stress comes from the fact that I just don't know how to care for 20+ clients in a supposedly rehabilitation/long-term care facility wherein our work is timed and judged as if we are in an ordinary home-for-the-aged whilst having patients that needs acute care. I just don't know how to not be stressed when trying to keep 2-3 of them stable when I'm alone at night. My workplace limits 2 nurses and 1 auxillary during night shift. Of course, the other nurse also has their hands "full". ....(Now I'm tempted to rant on the unfair patient distribution...) I don't know how others manage. Take vital signs taking and routine suctioning for example. I cannot imagine how some can do those within 30-40 minutes when plenty of our clients won't stay put, are edematous, has cold extremities etc. Am I suppose to suction and take V/S at the same time? Won't that lead to inaccurate results? And then there's the undefined standards.... I'm not so sure about normal values anymore. I don't even know where to start on that. The latest incident was that one of my patients has a BP of 80/50s for the last 24 hours. He has a history of such before (others too) and I am always told to just continue monitoring. This time however I have a different feeling. The client wasn't palloric yet but there's a slight change in color. I asked my colleague if it really is okay to just continue monitoring, won't it be better to refer immediately. (By the way, I'm the still the kind-of new foreign nurse hence the need to consult others). They said okay. Later the BP did gradually dropped and even later I was told "I should have referred earlier".... ...Ah. Many of them are a factor too. There's just too much to say. Too much. Actually, I'm supposed to be at work at this very moment. I called work to say I'm going to be late. The "I should have referred earlier" +full of BS nurse (they're the same person) was the one who picked up the phone and before I knew it my symptoms where amplified. My call turned into a call for absence. She told me to go see a doctor. Now, I'm just imagining scenarios wherein I do go see a specialist and tell them I want to hit my fellow nurse. Or, I go talk to our manager and confess that I'm super stressed and ask for an official mental health leave. Perhaps also begged to not be assigned with toxic people. Handling difficult clients is enough. Alas, there's just too many things to consider. I won't be surprised if they take this against my nationality and the like. I guess I should just prepare to quit. I'd really don't want to quit because my life/career was turned into shambles thanks to my last job and this job is supposed to be the rock to which I cling on and turn my life over. ... Now, I want to tell you about the specific circumstances in my job but this post is already too long and is probably uncoordinated and such... Let's just say that I don't even feel like I'm a pill pusher. I'm just someone who they didn't really want to hire but hired anyway because they needed a registered nurse to sign things and the like. I'm not just overthinking this with my stressed mind. I seriously don't have a decent orientation in this facility. I'm actually the one who suggested if I should just read the ward manual... ....It would be nice to have a regular pill pusher job.