Regrets after regrets!

Published

Here we go.

So I got a job offer as community nurse full time last week. The job required me to have a valid driving license and a car.

I got my driving license on November 2018 and haven't driven a car since I got my license. I was so excited when I got the offer and began to search cars to buy for my job. I told my mom about it hoping she would be excited too but guess what? She was like don't take it. She told me it is not worth taking it when I don't even have experience in driving and all of a sudden I am rushing to buy a car and drive. I understood where she was coming from and I do not want to worry her, so I rejected the offer. Now, I regret it so much! I wish I took the position and gave it a try.

What should I do? Should I re-apply to the same company? Will HR just throw my application away because I did not take previous position? I feel embarrassed because what if they ask me why I did not take the position first time if I am a successful candidate again?

Thank you for reading.

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Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.

I mean...yes, a car is a major purchase, but it doesn't have to take weeks and months to decide on. I guess I understand her being concerned since you aren't a super experienced driver, but you gotta learn somehow, right?

I don't see that there would be anything wrong with calling to see if the position has been filled. You can always say that you now have more reliable transportation and would like to re-apply or something.

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Oh, wow. On the one hand, yeah - get out there and take some chances/live your life. On the other hand - I don't think a job driving all over is ideal for a brand new driver (and one who hasn't driven in almost 5 months, at that), especially since this isn't going to be leisurely driving - they will be expecting you to meet metrics with regard to visits or whatever it is you need to do. I can understand a parent's concern.

But don't mind me. One of my special skills in life is apparently erring on the side of caution and thinking about what could go wrong. ??

Why don't you make an inquiry to at least see if the position has been filled.

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I think your mom may have been right here. I don’t know your financial situation or how many other jobs are available in your area utilizing public transport, but I’m assuming you mother does.

What happens if you start this job and then hate it? Will you be able to afford the car while you search for a new job or will the cost of the car lock you into this job or worse run the risk of damaging your credit rating? Also if you leave this job after a year or two will you still want / need the car or will it just be an unnecessary expense?

Smart rule of thumb is don’t ever drop a large amount of money on equipment for a new job unless you are positive you will recoup the money in wages / benefits or long term employment.

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.

Like they say in basketball...you miss 100% of the shots you don't take so if you don't re-apply you know what the answer is.

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Specializes in ER.

I'm curious how old you are? Do you live with your Mom? Is she maybe overprotective in any way? Do you feel like she sometimes is holding on to you, or holding you back in life?

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Thanks for the response guys! I am just bummed out because I have not landed jobs other than agency one (explained in previous thread) and this one. I got my license in 2018. I guess I should start driving a bit to gain some experience in case I get similiar opportunities.

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2 hours ago, Emergent said:

I'm curious how old you are? Do you live with your Mom? Is she maybe overprotective in any way? Do you feel like she sometimes is holding on to you, or holding you back in life?

I am 26 and yes I live with my parents. Some may say why I have not moved out yet, but I am family oriented. I rather stay with my parents and accompany them rather than living alone unless it is necessary. I do think she is overprotective of me and think that she is holding me back in life but I don’t want her to be worried.

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11 minutes ago, Toaster said:

I am 26 and yes I live with my parents. Some may say why I have not moved out yet, but I am family oriented. I rather stay with my parents and accompany them rather than living alone unless it is necessary. I do think she is overprotective of me and think that she is holding me back in life but I don’t want her to be worried.

You cannot let the possibility of your mother being worried hold you back from growing up and doing what you want and need to do to become an independent adult.

Mothers are always going to worry, no matter what. I say this as a mother who often worries about my kids. Mom worry is normal and expected. And adult catering to that worry is NOT.

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

It is past time for you to start driving yourself and you will eventually need to drive your parents. Yes, they are overprotective.

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20 hours ago, Horseshoe said:

You cannot let the possibility of your mother being worried hold you back from growing up and doing what you want and need to do to become an independent adult.

Mothers are always going to worry, no matter what. I say this as a mother who often worries about my kids. Mom worry is normal and expected. And adult catering to that worry is NOT.

Thank you Horseshoe. I think i’ll try to do whats best for me. I guess the only way to do it is not tell her what I am doing.

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3 hours ago, CrunchRN said:

It is past time for you to start driving yourself and you will eventually need to drive your parents. Yes, they are overprotective.

I agree, it is past time for me to start driving. The only reason I have not driven a car yet is because I live in downtown and my current job is 30 minutes away from public transit. The car insurance is soooo expensive.

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