Reflections of A New Grad

la bellota, BSN, RN

A few months into the program, I realized.....that *I* was not going to make it through this alone. I read a lot of books. Stayed up lots of nights. Tried to make it. Struggled. Cried. Wept.

And then I remembered to go to the Bible...the Greatest Reference. God made the world....surely he would know something wise to get me through school. So I read the book of Mark. A father brought his screaming, kicking, gnashing at the teeth child to Jesus. The father said that this affliction had "cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him". In case you haven't read the book, I am referring to.....his child was NOT in nursing school....even so, I could *relate* to this child.... having done a lot of the things he had done since starting the program. The child's father asked Jesus.....and I am paraphrasing here.....PLEASE....do something. I can almost hear my classmates or myself saying that. (hee) And Jesus said and I will quote....using perfect APA format....(comma) (quotation) "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." (unquote) (New King James Version)

Now being a nursing student, I had learned to think critically. So I broke that sentence down. "If you can believe". And I thought I always had. And it goes further...."all things are possible".....all things.....even nursing school, I thought critically....." to him WHO BELIEVES". Said twice. And like my Med Surg instructor had always said, anything said twice, you had better highlight it and best believe.....and like the father in the story, I wept. And I believed. And I know the teachers believed. And my kids believed. And the people who have helped me along also believed. And all of you sitting here reading this in nursing school today have to believe. Because even God believes that some of us will be nurses.

Because we are here. By the grace of God. We are part of his plan...

Sitting here today, I ask myself, if God himself handed me a list of all the blessings that would open doors, lift us up, carry us through, make us turn in the care plan at 3 AM, to learn 7 chapters for a test, to hold the hand of a dying man, to leave our children and loved ones at the crack of dawn to care for another's, to help us pay the rent, to smile as though our hearts were breaking, to find that last minute babysitter, to pass that test, to help us through that procedure, to give hope, to ensure my family *knew* we loved them even though we were not in sight, to fix our cars, to feed our families each day, put good people in our lives who believed in this mission, cared for our children, attended school and clinicals aside me, taught us, encouraged us, warned us, gave meds with us, arranged the clinical locations for us, helped us from spilling that coca-cola on our freshly pressed whites, and invented the tide to go stain stick. Would we have believed Him?

We don't need a list....because he showed us. .....we are here. We made it. This is our testimony. Because thru God.....all things are possible.

Reflections of A New Grad

About la bellota, BSN, RN

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